πβ′

A quieter day.

General Idomeneus stopped by after lunch to relate how the meeting with Agamemnon went last night. -He didn’t think it went too well.

For some reason, it seems Agamemnon wasn’t very upset about last night’s debacle. In fact, to hear Idomeneus tell it, it sounds like the Commander-in-Chief was defending Little Ajax.

Idomeneus, who was pretty pissed about losing his men, insisted that Little Ajax at least pay a ransom for Sinon’s release. However, Agamemnon said it wasn’t necessary, and told them that he would take care of it.

Idomeneus then said he was on his way back over to the Commander-in-Chief’s tent. He asked if I might go to support him. -I respectfully declined.

At that, Idomeneus nodded coolly and walked off.

Whatever.

All I know, is that is the last time I volunteer myself for anything.

This goddamned army has no direction whatsoever. Sometimes we attack, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes our enemies are our brothers, sometimes our brothers are our enemies. -There’s no sense to it at all.

The truth of the matter is that, in war, it’s nothing to lose fifty men just to preserve one general’s fragile ego.

Hell, this entire war is for one man’s ego.

Anyway, I’ve had enough. I can’t wait for Odysseus to come back. -Being a leader means being a hypocrite, and I just can’t take it anymore.

I know it’s pathetic, but I just couldn’t face our men today.

Just because I was insecure about leading this army, and depressed about not seeing Aegle, I led six of our Ithacans to the slaughter last night. -I hid in my tent the entire day.

Later in the evening Aegle stopped by.

I joined her for a walk along the beach, but I don’t think I made for very good company. -I spent most of the time just complaining about the way things work, and what is wrong with this war.

Now I feel a bit guilty.

Aegle spent a couple of years trying to get to the siege, and I spent all night complaining about it.

I think I confused her a bit. She was very supportive, but I think she had the impression I was worried that I wasn’t doing a very good job. She kept saying things like “It’s hard to be a leader”, and “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it”. -I think she might have missed my point.

Aegle just couldn’t understand why I would want Odysseus to come back. I guess she sees this as a real opportunity for me. -Maybe she is just more idealistic than I am.

Anyway, I hope I wasn’t too much of a drag.

We agreed to have dinner tomorrow. -I’ll try to be a better date then.