Dεαr UO rεαdεrs:

Unfortunately, the time I have been able to devote to UO has diminished.

Although I hate to pause here, I'd rather not push onward without giving Eurylochus the consideration he deserves.

Under Odysseus is not over. However, it will be some time before the story continues.

If you're subscribed, please keep UO in your feeds. Eurylochus will be back.

Thanks!

ρθγ′

Not good.

More bad weather. Very bad weather. -Everyone aboard has an empty stomach.

I've got to got back above-deck in a moment. -Not much sleep tonight.

I just heard Odysseus outside.

G'night.

ρθβ′

A nice morning and a bad evening.

Some of our men were scrubbing the deck early this morning, and their work woke me earlier than usual. -It was one of those rare days when I open my eyes feeling completely awake.

Deciding to make the most of it, I shared a pot of tea with Baius as the sun came up.

It was another day of clear skies and crisp, steady wind.

As I was feeling a bit restless, I resolved to make the rounds of our fleet this morning aboard the Lil’ Tethys. -I probably should have checked with Odysseus before doing so, but was feeling somewhat rebellious.

After having a nice chat with Baius, I woke Polites and then signaled Antiphus to pick us up. Polites’ mood was matching my own, and he decided to wear a ridiculous over-sized Trojan hat.

As I didn’t have anything specific in mind, I just asked Antiphus to take the two of us from ship to ship. As it happened, we only ended up visiting two.

After a short stop waking up an obviously hung-over Mnestheus, we ended up on Achaemenides’ vessel. -It was still pretty early, and we were surprised to hear cheering as we pulled up alongside.

Climbing aboard, we found Achaemenides’ crew of the newly named ‘Atalanta’ in the midst of an archery tournament. Actually, it wasn’t so much of a archery tournament as it was a duel.

The crew of the Atalanta invented a unique style of archery combat. Replacing the points of arrows with knobs of knotted rags, two members of the crew would stand several paces apart and shoot at each other. As the ends of these arrows had been dipped in inked honey, there was no mistaking when someone was hit.

When we arrived, the rule was that each contestant was given three arrows. A hit was worth one point, a headshot was worth two.

Needless to say, Polites wanted to play.

I was hesitant to join at first, but as Captain Achaemenides’ insisted, I decided to have some fun. -Achaemenides was already sporting a large ink blot over his left eye.

Unfortunately, I didn’t fair too well. As soon as Polites and I had agreed, the crew of the Atalanta decided the two of us should face off.

My first arrow missed Polites entirely. His shot hit me square in the nose.

Apollo’s ass, that hurt.

In fact, I was so stunned by Polites honey-coated arrow that I involuntarily dropped my bow. Seeing stars, I shook my head, and did all I could to keep the tears from welling up in my eyes.

Obviously, the crew understood my pain as an empathic “Oooooh” immediately followed.

Feeling like I needed to make a good show, I did my best to wipe the inky goo out of my eyes and quickly asked for my bow. My second arrow missed Polites by a mile.

To his credit, Polites next arrow was close, but just missed me. My third shot hit Polites in the thigh, and his just grazed me.

Polites won our match, 2 to 1.

Antiphus and Polites faced off next. Polites won again, striking Antiphus hard in the stomach. -I guess his two remaining fingers are good enough for archery.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the morning watching the tournament and talking with Achaemenides.

I’ve always thought Achaemenides was kind of a simpleton. However, I think having command of his own ship has really brought him into his own.

Achaemenides doesn’t command in a manner I am accustomed to, but his men seem very happy and are obviously endeared to him. At one point when a couple of consecutive groin shots lead to a fist fight, it only took a stern shout from Achaemenides to settle the crew.

At any rate, it was an enjoyable morning, and we decided to stay for lunch. This was a roast of the Atalanta’s Ciconian sheep. It was good, but I think I’m done with sheep for a while.

Polites did very well in the tournament, and took third place. Thankfully, I wasn’t compelled to deul again.

As we had such a good time aboard the Atalanta, Polites and I abandoned our idea of rounding the fleet and returned to the flagship (which is now apparently being called ‘The Horse’) just before dinner.

Unfortunately, when we did return, Odysseus was on deck.

It was nice to see the General was feeling better. However, I knew immediately I should have checked in on him before leaving. Odysseus was eating with Biaus, Misenus, Elpenor and Macar, and he hardly acknowledged us when Polites and I enthusiastically stated how glad we were to see him.

It probably didn’t help that our faces were covered in ink.

I decided to skip dinner and spent the evening looking busy.

Just before turning in I ran into Elpenor. I thanked him for looking after the General. To this, he only nodded weakly, and gave me a look of disappointment. -Mother of Zeus, I wanted to punch him.

That guy has to learn some boundaries.

ρθα′

An uneventful day.

I think Odysseus is feeling a little better.

I dropped by the General's cabin this morning and heard the sound of him and Elpenor laughing. I knocked, but Elpenor only opened the door a crack.

He assured me that Odysseus was fine, and said the General would likely be able to take visitors tomorrow.

Of course, Elpenor has no right to tell me when I can and can't see Odysseus. However, it seems he is doing a good job playing nurse, and I didn't really want to deal with the General anyway. -He'd probably just give me extra work to make up for his condition.

Still, it pissed me off that Elpenor pulled that shit with me.

Whatever. -I'll let him play gate-keeper a little longer.

I spent most of the day with Polites and Misenus. -It was good.

I think Polites has more or less come out of his funk, and has forgiven me for the whole 'Laodice' thing.

A large gull has taken to perching on our bow, and has become pretty fearless. Some of our men have been feeding him, and he seems determined to stay with us for the journey. Out of respect, the crew has taken to calling him 'The Old Man'.

Men get so serious about stuff like that at sea.

Anyway, the three of us fed the Old Man some fish, and found we could pat him on the head without scaring him off.

He did bite my thumb, however.

Baius was right about the wind. The sky was clear today, but the wind was steady. -We are making good time.

Odysseus hasn't actually ordered us to head for home, but that's where Baius is taking us.

ρθ′

Odysseus is sick.

The morning started of nicely with a lamb roast, thanks to Elpenor and Mnestheus' sheep.

Elpenor did a fantastic job, and everyone appreciated a lunch of fresh meat. -It seems a few of our ships followed our lead and did the same.

Oddly, Odysseus didn't show up.

In fact, Odysseus hadn't been seen by anyone since yesterday morning.

After it started to get dark, I went to his cabin to check on him. As I knocked, the General quickly opened the door, almost as if he had been standing behind it. -He was naked, looking glassy-eyed and a bit sweaty.

Without saying anything, Odysseus plodded back to his bead and collapsed.

His room stunk.

Leaving the door open, I walked over to his bed. -Odysseus had vomited and I stepped in it.

As I had never seen Odysseus ill before, I was somewhat concerned. However, once I started to speak, the General belted: "I'm fine! I just need some rest. Go away now. -Orders are to go away!"

It was pretty dark, so I stepped out to grab a lamp.

Returning to the General's bed, I immediately saw the cause of his ailment.

Cursing me for the light, Odysseus rolled onto his side, which revealed a nasty looking wound on the back of his ribs. The wound wasn't particularly deep, but it was red and was oozing. -He must have gotten it in Ismara.

I'm not sure why, but I immediately went for Elpenor.

Predictably, Elpenor was distressed at the site of the General. Pacing about Odysseus, he began to shake his head, repeating: "No, no, no."

Elpenor then began to give orders.

He wasn't giving orders directly to me, but I was the only one around to take them.

"More light!" he demanded. "Lots of water!"

I obeyed. -I gathered a number of men, and we provided him whatever he needed.

At Elpenor's behest, we lit up the General's quarters, scrubbed Odysseus and the entire room down with sea water, and for some reason, stacked all the furniture but his bed up against a wall.

Oddly, Odysseus remained silent throughout the whole ordeal. In fact, he seemed almost pleased with all the attention.

Anyway, after about an hour of fussing, Elpenor had Odysseus lying on his stomach, wrapped tightly in a green silk cloth. -The silk was Elpenor's.

By that point the General seemed comfortable, and was snoring loudly as our men filed out.

I intended to stay behind with Odysseus, and started to thank Elpenor. However, he cut me off and escorted me to the door.

"We'll be fine, Eurylochus." he said as he shuffled me out.

Frustrated, I tried to turn the tables. I began to tell Elpenor to stay by Odysseus' side, but he smiled and shut the door as I did.

To be honest, leaving Odysseus with Elpenor made me feel a bit uncomfortable. It's not so much because Elpenor is that way, but because he can get so overzealous when it comes to Odysseus. Furthermore, it kind of pissed me off he had taken such a patronizing tone with me.

Whatever. It's not like I was looking forward to a night of sitting with the General. Besides, Elpenor seems to know what he's doing.

I made a couple of rounds about the deck before turning in.

I saw Baius and related Odysseus' condition to him. -He just nodded in acknowledgement.

Baius then told me it should be windy tomorrow.

ρη′

Pretty much what I expected.

I didn't see the General for more than a minute today.

Odysseus stopped by my quarters very early to tell me that we needed to redistribute the men, and to make sure every ship had a helmsman.

He said he was going to be very busy and then went back to his cabin.

I ate breakfast with Macar, Misenus, Polites and Elpenor.

Aside from inquiring about Misenus' leg (which had been trapped under a Ciconian cart), we didn't directly discuss yesterday's debacle.

Macar made some suggestions on how we should move our resources about, but that was about it. I'd like to say that everyone just wants to get home, but I don't think that's actually the case.

In fact, I feel like we are in some odd kind of place outside of time.

Speaking for myself, I feel completely detached from anywhere. I'm sure part of me misses Ithaca, but I just can't feel it. To be honest, I probably miss Troy more. Unfortunately, we burned it to the ground.

Despite the fact we are sailing home, I think we are lost at sea.

Anyway, Macar and Polites helped me reorganize the fleet today. I didn't ask for Polites to go, but after I recruited Macar, he volunteered. I think he just wanted to get out on the Lil' Tethys. I don't blame him. -It is kind of refreshing.

Elpenor offered to join us after Polites did, but Polites suggested there wouldn't be enough room if we had to move officers about. That wasn't necessarily true. However, it was good to see some things were returning to normal, so I didn't object.

Elpenor left us soon after.

The rest of the day turned out to be pretty nice.

Antiphus kept us entertained as we spent the afternoon going from ship to ship. Besides some good jokes, he has a pretty good impression of General Thoas. (Thoas was the good-looking Aetolian general that joined us in the Horse.) I didn't realize it until now, but Thoas always had this dramatic way of whipping his hair out of his eyes. Antiphus had it down pat.

Damn, I kind of miss the beachhead.

Antiphus' humor eventually put Polites in a good mood, which was also nice to see. Unfortunately, it also encouraged Polites to do some impressions of his own, including one of Epeius’ mouth-breathing.

Apollo's Ass, Polites sucks at impressions. I really ought to tell him. -I'm just glad Elpenor wasn't there.

The other highlight of our day was due to some sheep Mnestheus and his Samians managed to capture before things went to hell yesterday.

As Mnestheus' Sea Dragon was our first stop, we decided to divide the Ciconian sheep amongst our ships. This meant the Lil' Tethys was packed full of wool.

We had a pretty funny accident on our first delivery. One of our ships had lost its helmsman, and I selected Perimedes to fill in. Thus, after fetching him from the flagship, we delivered both Peremides and a sheep to this vessel. Perimedes climbed aboard first, and after proudly announcing he was to take command, he reached down to the Lil' Tethys to grab a frantic sheep from Macar.

What happened was predictable. Even standing on the Lil' Tethys' bow, it was quite a stretch for Macar to reach the deck of Peremides' new ship. As a result, Macar ended up with a hold onto the sheep's rear legs, and Perimedes had the front. Upon hitting a big swell, Macar either had to let go or be pulled up with the sheep.

Macar let go of course, and the dangling sheep pulled Perimedes in.

Luckily, Perimedes didn't hit our bow on the way down.

As Perimedes had just assumed command, we did everything we could not to laugh. However, once we had dropped him and his water-logged sheep off, we just lost it.

The rest of the day, Antipus kept saying: "Mother of Baaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

We used a rope to deliver the rest of the flock.

ρζ′

That was bad.

Yesterday we conducted our Ciconian raid.

We've lost two ships and nearly one in five of our men, and it could have been much worse.

Here's the short of it:

The evening before last, the Lil' Tethys spotted the Ciconian city of Ismara just before nightfall. The Tethys relayed the information to us, and we anchored out-of-sight off the southern shore.

Not long after sundown, our fleet began to slowly make its way towards the city.

It was our intention to embark out of sight of Ismara. However, the city lies at the foot of a mountain, and the coast to the south of it was very rocky. As a result, our fleet crept up along the coast for quite some time before we could find a place to land.

The moon was nearly new, so things were pretty dark. In fact, as we looked for places to land, Polites and Elpenor were on the bow, repeatedly dropping a plumb line.

Even so, if it weren't for the Lil' Tethys guiding us, we would have probably ended up upon the rocks.

I can clearly recall standing with Odysseus and Baius as the lights of Ismara grew closer and closer.

It was a tense moment, and the General was obviously anxious. Aside from Elpenor's whispered soundings, I could only hear Odysseus wrapping his knuckles upon his shield.

Anyway, we were nearly on top of the city before the rocks gave way to a sandy shore.

Here, our first contact with the Ciconians was the Lil' Tethys running into a small fishing boat.

This occurred several yards off of our bow, and we couldn't see what happened. However, we heard a few high-pitched screams and what looked like a torch thrown through the air.

At that, Elpenor shouted something like: "It's begun!"

Odysseus loudly ordered Baius to bring us in. Lighting two torches upon our stern, I signaled for the fleet behind us to do the same.

This was almost comical. As our large ships rushed towards the beach, we had to plow through a flotilla of small fishing boats. Many of these boats contained sleeping fishermen, who were understandably disturbed by the appearance of our ships.

As a result, our stealthy landing wasn't so stealthy.

Although we unintentionally rammed a few fishing boats, we didn't bother to engage the fishermen on our way in. However, once they realized what was going on, the fishermen started throwing what they had at us, and caught the mainsail of one of our ships on fire.

The blaze provided us with a bit of useful light actually, and within moments we were orderly unloading our crews into the sandy shallows to the southeast of the city.

After ten years of war, our troops are incredibly well-trained. -With only minimal orders, our army of over two-thousand poured onto the beach, and then quietly fell into columns.

Actually, aside from the efforts of a few brave Ciconian fishermen, the only real confusion upon our landing was on account of our officers. As several of these men had been reassigned to replace lost helmsmen, they were confused as to whether they should join the raid or to stay with the ships.

Frustrated, Odysseus ordered all of these officers to join us on the beach. -In retrospect, that might not have been the best idea. The men were already falling into formation, and although a handful of soldiers were left to guard each ship, the lack of a helmsman later contributed to an unanticipated problem.

Anyway, within just twenty minutes or so we had gained the beach, and began to advance on the city.

Ismara was only several hundred yards up from the water, atop a gradual sandy slope. We made our way quickly, with officers spread every ten meters or so across our front. I was in the center with Odysseus and Elpenor. Misenus was some distance to our left, and Polites was commanding our rear guard.

I won’t go into too many details, as there's not much to say. -In short, we made quick work of the city.

As we had caused quite a bit of commotion upon our landing, much of Ismara knew we were coming before we fell upon them. In fact, a small contingent of about one-hundred brave souls met us just in front of the city, but they were ill-prepared and obviously untrained.

I was somewhat struck with how efficiently and almost stoically our troops engaged and dispatched these desperate defenders.

Besides this defense, Ismara had a small wall. However, two of the entrances to the city were either left open or were non-existent. As a result, we quickly poured into the city, reformed into twelve separate companies, and then went about raiding the place.

I stuck with Odysseus throughout the sack of Ismara, as did Elpenor. For his part, Elpenor was refreshingly quiet, and helped direct our men with only a minimal amount of kissing Odysseus’ ass.

It wasn't our intention to damage the city or to unnecessarily harm the residents. Thus, we went through the night and early morning with very little fighting. In fact, after a few hours, the Ciconians seemed to become resigned to our efforts, and more-or-less stood aside as we went from house to house, taking what we fancied.

It felt pretty dirty.

Things were also made easy by another circumstance. Shortly into the raid, we were confronted by a group of Ciconian guards escorting the city's mayor. This chubby and swarthy guy named Ennomus, was quick to make it clear Ismara would surrender to our force, and only asked us that his city not be destroyed.

Odysseus obviously got a kick out of this, and he responded by asking Ennomus why he shouldn't do the same to Trojan-loving Ciconians as he had done to Troy.

I guess word had already reached Ennomus about the fall of Troy, and he was immediately dumbfounded to find himself in the presence of "The Great Odysseus, conqueror of Troy."

We were then escorted by the mayor and his small contingent as we looted the city. That was kind of surreal. Odysseus and Ennomus were actually making small talk as we went about our business. –Maybe Ennomus thought it was an honor to have his city sacked by the “Conqueror of Troy.”

Anyway, after several hours of looting, our force began to reassemble near the city wall where we had entered. As the sun rose, we piled our spoils onto Ciconian carts, and prepared to head back to our fleet. At that point I don't think we had lost more than a dozen men.

But then things went very bad.

Standing with Odysseus and the mayor of Ismara at the city gate, we heard a signal horn from down at the beach. Rushing out to see the cause of the alarm, we saw our fleet was still anchored at the foot of the city. A trail of carts linked Ismara to the shoreline, and some of our ships were being loaded in the shallow water.

At first, nothing appeared amiss. However, Polites then stepped up next to me and exclaimed: "Mother of Zeus. We're fucked."

Turning to Polites, I could tell he was looking at something else. Following his gaze over our ships, I then saw why we were fucked. -Almost obscured by the rising sun, a number of large ships were headed towards the shore.

It didn't take long before we realized what we were looking at. It was the Ciconian army, returning from the War at Troy. In fact, these were likely the same Ciconians that shot Odysseus in the leg. -They must have been delayed by the storm, and we beat them to their home.

Why we hadn't considered their return, I don't know. In fact, it actually crossed my mind as we landed, but after I got caught up in the raid, I forgot about it.

Looking at Odysseus, I was stunned by how quickly he reacted to the situation.

The General's response was: "Burn the city. Get to the fleet."

Obviously baffled, Ennomus yelled: "Nooooo!"

To this, Odysseus coldly replied: "Kill him."

Not staying to watch his order carried out, the General began to jog towards our fleet. Polites, Elpenor and I joined him, listening to a quick stream of orders he gave as her ran. -Strangely, Odysseus seemed more pissed off than anything else.

Basically, the General's orders were for us to board as quickly as possible, leaving the rest of our treasure on the beach. Elpenor and Polites quickly dispatched and began to spread the word.

Odysseus and I were intercepted by Macar as we ran to the boats.

Macar brought more bad news.

Unfortunately, while we were raiding the city, the tide went out. Baius had been able to get some of our ships to deeper waters, but without a helmsman in each our ships, things got pretty confused. As a result, our six boats closest to shore were essentially resting on the bottom. -Baius and Macar assumed we'd just have to wait until high tide, but no one anticipated a rushed departure.

At hearing that, Odysseus looked crazy mad.

Grabbing Macar by the shoulders, the General asked him to repeat what he had just said, one more time.

That was the first time I had ever seen Macar look intimidated. However, after making sure Odysseus was serious, Macar coolly repeated the situation, word for word.

Odysseus listened and then nodded. With his hands still on Macar's shoulder, he slowly looked at the situation about us. To the west, plums of smoke began to rise from Ismara. To the east, we could see our fleet, soon to be boxed in by the returning Ciconians. All about us, men and officers ran, both up and down the beach, often changing directions midway.

Looking back to the two of us, Odysseus shook his head, and then broke into a warm smile.

"Macar, Eurylochus. It looks like we're fucked." With that, the General started laughing.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but Macar and I immediately burst out laughing as well. -It felt like the funniest thing I had heard in a long time.

Anyway, after a good chuckle, we continued on our way down to the shore. There we met Baius, who was his usual cool self. Baius reiterated what Macar had said, and then suggested we meet the returning Ciconians with the few ships that were free.

Odysseus agreed with Baius, but decided he would stay on shore. Macar and Baius then took the Lil' Tethys out to command our fleet.

Apollo's ass, it's getting late.

Alright, so here's what happened:

There were five ships in the Ciconian fleet. Two of these ships were caught up in a hasty blockade set up by Baius and Macar, and three of the Ciconian vessels broke through to the shore.

These ships unloaded in the shallows amongst our own, where we fought one of the most chaotic battles I have ever witnessed.

Unfortunately, despite the burning of Ismara, soon after the Ciconians ships were spotted, a substantial number of furious citizens began to harass us on the beach. These pissed-off citizens were mostly armed with farm implements and rocks, but they created a second front on our rear, which greatly aided the Ciconian attack.

It took about thirty minutes before the Ciconians had landed. However, due to these new partisans and the confused state of our officers (Polites and Elpenor had just ordered our men to board our beached ships) we were less than prepared when the Ciconians began to disembark amongst us.

I stayed with Odysseus throughout what ended up being a very long battle. Polites joined the two of us after about an hour, and we later happened upon Misenus, who was trapped under an overturned cart of Ciconian treasure. -He'll be alright.

I didn't see Elpenor for the rest of the morning. I guess he ended up on one of our beached ships, fighting a group of Ciconcians that repeatedly set it on fire.

Interestingly, we did happen upon the Ciconian captain that we had met at sea. I think his name was Euphemus, or at least that's what his men called him.

Euphemus and his contingent of troops met Odysseus and our entourage late in the battle. Once he saw Euphemus, Odysseus became very animated, and kept working to engage him personally. However, Euphemus' guard was well-trained, and they fell in tight before him any time we pressed towards their leader.

Even so, I'm sure Odysseus would have eventually gotten to Euphemus. However, that's when Achaemenides appeared.

By noon, things were looking pretty grim. Whenever I had the opportunity, I would look about us and assess the situation. Each time I did, I always saw the same thing: Our Ithacans were spread out along the beach, fighting about one third as many Ciconian soldiers, and nearly twice as many Ismaran citizens. The beach was littered with treasure and bodies. By my measure, we were slowly fighting to a stalemate.

However, at this particular lull, I climbed upon one of the carts to have a look at our fleet. -For the past several minutes I had heard a few cheers come from that direction, and I was wondering what it was about.

Amazingly, what I saw was Achaemenides' ship on the far side of the ongoing sea battle. Apparently, Achaemenides had just rammed into the hull of a Ciconian vessel. -It was difficult to discern what was going on, but there was little doubt things were looking bad for the two Ciconian ships that remained offshore.

I immediately related this to Odysseus.

Hearing it, the General grinned from ear to ear. He shouted: "Get the men on our ships!" and with new energy, he charged towards a skirmish taking place closer to the shore.

With that, Polites, Misenus and I began to spread the world along the beach.

It wasn't a perfect retreat, but it could have been worse.

Fortunately, the tide had begun to come in shortly before Achaemenides' return. As a result, it was easy enough to board our ships, but we didn't have to wait long before they were afloat once again.

We spent nearly half and hour fending-off the Ciconians as our men boarded and waited to embark. However, as the water rose, it became more and more difficult for the Ciconians to attack our ships.

Furthermore, as the Ciconians had concentrated on fighting us as we boarded, by the time we were free, it was already too deep for them to effectively board their own vessels that began floating nearby.

Thus, after several hours of fighting on the shore of Ismara, we were able to escape to sea, taking a number of doomed Ciconians with us. However, we did so with two fewer ships, and many fewer men.

To add insult to injury, we got very little treasure from the bargain.

After we were out of sight of Ismara, Odysseus had Achaemenides brought aboard our ship. The General then made a very big deal about Achaemenides’ rescue. He bestowed Achaemenides the ship he’s been commanding, and presented him with a very ornate sword. -In fact, the sword kind of looked like mine.

How many of these swords does the General have?

Anyway, we had an impromptu feast to honor ‘Captain Achaemenides’, which went on far too late.

We didn’t spend any of the daylight assessing our damages, or redistributing the men. No doubt that will be my job tomorrow. -Without Odysseus, of course.

I have to think Odysseus hoped the Ciconian raid might substitute for our missing treasure barge.

However, although Achaemenides returned, I now have very little hope for that flat-bottomed ship. -Besides, if the Milesian barge is still afloat, they are likely on their way to Ismara.

Wouldn’t that be ironic?

At any rate, I don’t think the General will want to linger in Ciconian waters, waiting for our missing treasure.

No, I think we are going to have to start heading home. -Our fleet is damaged enough as it is.

Odysseus did his best to raise morale with Achaemenides’ feast, but I don’t think our crew can take any more of these adventures.

ρϛ′

I was awoken by Odysseus this morning.

Feeling myself shaken, I opened my eyes to find the General's face close to mine. -He had a wide grin, and particularly funky breath.

"We've spotted land, Eurylochus!"

Dressing quickly, I followed Odysseus out to join Baius and a few soldiers at the bow.

It was true; in the predawn light I could distinctly see the dark outline of hills on the horizon.

Moments later, the sun broke behind us and bathed us in a fiery light. -It kind of gave me a tingly feeling.

I suppose Odysseus felt it to, because he raised his arms and beamed: "Helios smiles upon us, my boys!” -This brought a crisp cheer from the few soldiers present.

After basking in the moment, Odysseus, Baius and I shared an early breakfast.

As we ate, we talked about our raid and how we might approach the beachhead. -We are going to land at night, just out of sight of the city. Baius figures we are about a day south of Ismara, but I have no idea how.

Elpenor and Polites walked up before we finished.

It's very odd. Those two have never gotten along at all. -To be honest, seeing Polites with Elpenor disturbed me more than his crying fit did.

Of course, Polites just ignored me.

Anyway, our breakfast was concluded by another fortunate event. One of our missing ships has returned.

It wasn't the barge, and it wasn't Achaemenides' ship. However, I think the appearance of this vessel gave new hope the remaining two might not be lost. -Not to mention that nearly 200 of our men haven't drowned.

Odysseus and I spent much of the afternoon on this ship called the Sea Dragon.

The boat's captain is a wiry lieutenant named Mnestheus. I've met Mnestheus many times before, but don't really know much about him.

In fact, I’m pretty sure he's Samian. At least he hangs out with the Samians that are with us. -They're a clicky bunch.

Mnestheus told us he hadn't seen Achaemenides' ship or the Milesian barge. His crew did see what they thought was a mast-light last night, but lost it soon after. -As it was far to the east, he doesn't think it was us.

Knowing we were headed for Ismara, Mnestheus said he hoped to find us there. He loudly announced he was glad they hadn't missed the fight, and his crew cheered on cue. -This pleased Odysseus immensely.

In fact, the General was in high spirits for the rest of the day.

As Odysseus likes to micromanage when he's in a good mood, we spent the remainder of the day going from ship to ship on the Lil' Tethys. -I took a ridiculous amount of notes that I'll never use.

Antiphus is a funny guy. He did a great job of entertaining the General as he ferried us about the fleet.

I can't remember how it went, but Antiphus told us this hilarious joke about Aphrodite and Hermes. It was something about how Ares was so impressed with how fast his sons Phobos and Deimos were.

Damn, I can never remember a good joke.

Anyway, I guess we could be raiding the Ciconians as soon as tomorrow night.

Oddly, I don't feel nervous at all.

ρε′

We are missing three of our fourteen ships.

Unfortunately, one of the missing ships is our captured Milesian barge. -That boat contained nearly all of our Trojan treasure.

Thus, after ten years of war, we could be heading home empty-handed. No one is talking about it, but I know it's on every mind in the fleet.

Of course, the greater tragedy is the possible loss of a few hundred of our men. -Or at least it should feel like the greater tragedy.

Achaemenides' ship is one of those absent. As odd as he was, I kind of liked that guy. It's bothered me more than I'd expect.

I'm not so sure Odysseus should have given Achaemenides command of a ship. He did prove himself in battle a few times, but I don't think he was ‘leader material’. -Maybe I should have said something.

Losing men at sea always seems harder for some reason.

At any rate, although the weather has improved, the mood of the fleet definitely hasn't.

I only saw the General for a moment today.

Absent all morning, Odysseus appeared as Misenus and I were having lunch. He inquired about our missing ships (the Lil’ Tethys is still out looking for them), and whether the men were ready for our upcoming raid upon the Ciconians.

I reminded Odysseus that we distributed our arms the day before yesterday, and that I'd see to it the officers were readying their men. -He thanked me and returned to his cabin.

It's a good thing we got our supplies out of that barge. If the storm hit us a day earlier, we’d not only be without our treasure, but most of our weapons too.

Misenus suggested the other ships might have simply headed for home. I thought he was joking at first, but he didn’t laugh. -I'm not sure what I think about that.

Anyway, after returning to my quarters tonight, I spent some time looking at the ornate sword Odysseus gave me. I couldn't stand to leave it on the barge, and have kept it 'hidden' under my cot.

To be honest, I take the thing out almost every night.

I don't think Odysseus would think about it, but if he did, he might consider that I'd lost the sword with the barge. -In fact, I haven't worn it since we left Troy.

This ridiculously expensive sword means I don't ever have to work again.

I don't think I'll wear it on our journey home.

Apollo’s ass. -I kind of hate this sword.

ρδ′

Terrible weather.

I was rolled out of bed early this morning by a pretty nasty storm.

Well, I think it was early. As the sun never really came up today, it was hard to tell.

I just know I was tired.

After coming to my senses, I headed up deck to find Odysseus and Baius shouting at one another near the main.

They weren't angry. It was just difficult to hear above the whipping wind and rain. In fact, despite the weather, the General and Helmsman seemed to be in fairly good spirits.

Falling on my ass in front of them did little to dampen their mood.

Having spent some time at sea, I realized the storm was dangerous. We weren't doomed, but I knew we weren't far from it. Nevertheless, Odysseus and Baius seemed to revel in the uncertainty.

After quickly discussing what needed to be done to secure the ship, I spent the rest of my morning making sure it was carried out.

I ate lunch with Polites, Elpenor and Misenus in the officer quarters.

That was the first and last thing I ate today.

I guess my stomach was better off empty, and it soon had its way. -Maybe it was just sick of fish.

Sailors often talk about their 'sea legs' with pride. To tell the truth, some of the saltiest get sick every time they set sail. I've never been good in rough waters. -Not that I'm a salt.

Anyway, before tossing my lunch, I kind of cussed-out Polites. -I don't think I had ever done that before.

The three of us were chatting about the storm, when Polites suggested it might be a result of sweeping the fish overboard. -He thought Poseidon might have been angered.

I don't recall exactly how I responded, but I lost it.

Polites has been in a funk for several days now, and I am getting sick of it. He's always been one of our most dependable officers and I just can't stand to see him act so pathetic. Furthermore, it seems he's starting to get superstitious on me.

Basically, I just angrily told him the same. Unfortunately, I did it in front of Elpenor, Misenus, and a couple of soldiers. To make matters worse, when he tried to defend himself, I said something about Laodice. -Whoever she is.

What I said didn't make any sense. Polites had responded with something like: "Well, maybe you'd understand if the Gods took your fingers!", to which I hastily replied: "Well, maybe if you hadn't screwed-over Laodice, you wouldn't be looking for such lame excuses!"

I'm not sure what I meant to say. -I was just pissed off and didn't feel very well.

Regardless, Polites looked genuinely hurt. -At that he just lowered his head and remained quiet.

I then went top deck to lose my lunch.

The storm started dying down about an hour ago.

With the little bit of light we had left, Odysseus and a few of us officers tried to spot the rest of our fleet. We located four of our fourteen, one of which was the Lil’ Tethys.

That little boat is amazing.

We've lit a torch on top of the mast. Hopefully, the rest of our ships will remember to do the same.

Macar and Polites joined Antiphus on the Lil' Tethys to continue the search. -As Polites has such keen eyes, Odysseus asked that he go along.

I sent the General's orders through Macar.

ργ′

I had a bizarre dream last night.

I dreamed I had to take over Polites' job of giving Odysseus his daily back-rub. -Polites couldn't do it any longer due to his bad hand.

Of course, Odysseus doesn't have 'nightly back-rubs', and I doubt Polites would be giving them if he did.

Anyway, I was massaging Odysseus, and Polites was standing by my side, giving me instructions.

It really disturbed me that the General's back was a dark orange, and rubbing it was making my hands orange as well.

Even worse, Odysseus couldn't seem to see or hear Polites, and while Polites continued to give me instructions, Odysseus dictated one of his inane letters to Penelope. -I'm not sure how I was supposed to write it down.

Getting frustrated, and listening to them both talk over one another, I stopped rubbing and asked Odysseus just how Penelope was supposed to get this letter. -I reminded him we were already on our way home.

To that Odysseus flatly answered: "Yes, I know. But Calchas is going to make a bird to carry it, remember. He's going to make a bird out of your liver. You remember that, don't you, Eurylochus? That is good with you, isn't it?"

Despite knowing Calchas isn't with us, I meekly assured Odysseus that it was 'good' with me. I then continued to rub his back.

Polites, however, stopped his instructions.

"What? Your liver?! Are you fucking kidding? Now he wants your liver? You know you have to kill him now, don't you?" Polites asked.

I didn't want to answer.

However, Polites pressed me: "Eurylochus, you know you are going to have to kill him now, don't you?"

Resolved, I whispered: "Yes, yes, I know. -I'll kill him."

At that, the General paused. "What was that, Captain?"

"Nothing, General. It's nothing." I answered.

I went back to the back-rub. However, Polites was no longer giving me instructions.

After a moment of silence, I looked back to see if he was still there.

Polites had been replaced by Odysseus, who was glaring at me angrily.

I woke up sweating.

I'm not so sure I should have committed that to paper.

Oh well. It was just a dream.

Anyway, breakfast today was fish, of course. So was lunch.

I skipped dinner.

I spent a good deal of the day with Macar on the Milesian Barge. We were going through our supplies, and making sure each ship had what it would need for the raid. -I still can't believe the riches we have on that boat.

Baius figures that we are probably three days out of Ismara, assuming our course is accurate. -I never have figured out how to navigate at sea.

I avoided Odysseus most of the day, but had to report to him after returning from the barge. Neither of us mentioned yesterday's catch.

The General seemed to be in good spirits, and was pleased I had taken to readying the fleet.

It surprised me that Odysseus wasn't obviously hung-over, and was already walking about without his cane. That guy has the constitution of a bear. I could spend every day working at it, and still fail to get into the physique he has without the least bit of effort.

Anyway, Polites walked up behind me and patted me on the back while I was talking to the General.

Unbelievably, I broke into a sweat.

ρβ′

I reek of fish.

Polites joined us again for breakfast today. He was obviously hung-over, so I asked Misenus to break out some wine.

As Odysseus happened to walk up as we were pouring, I decided to toast to our Ciconian raid.

The General mistook our good humor for enthusiasm, which pleased him immensely. As a result, we (and Polites) then toasted to the sacking of Troy, the journey home, seeing Ithacan women again, and to a few more excuses to tip the cup.

Polites knew my intent, and shot me a weak but wry smile. He did his best to keep up with us, but after the fifth toast, he lost his breakfast.

In terms of military discipline, things pretty much went down hill from there.

Laughing, the lot of us heckled Polites as he ran to the bulwark. However, our fun was soon interrupted from a shout from the bow.

One of our deckhands was pointing ahead and screaming: Mother of Zeus, a serpent! A serpent to the starboard bow, General!

More interested in a sea serpent than Polites, our breakfast crew raced to the soldier's side.

Not expecting to see a serpent, I was taken aback. -There was indeed something huge in front of us. It was large and dark, and it was churning the waters.

Bravely, Odysseus called for his 'shpear'.

Yet, before Elpenor could retrieve it, Baius shouted: "You'd do better with a net, General! -That's a school of fish!

Squinting hard, the General looked again. Slapping the deckhand on the back of the head, he belted: "Itsh a school of fish, you shtupid sheleni!"

It was indeed a school of fish.

In fact, it was much more than a school. It was more like an island of fish. -I didn't know there were so many in the sea.

Actually, for the next hour or so, our fleet sailed through what seemed to be equal parts fish and water.

Odysseus took Baius' advice, and called for our nets. In fact, he ordered that our deck be filled with fish. In his words, we shouldn't decline such a 'fine gift from Posheidon'.

Odysseus seemed to like saying that, and repeated it many times as we worked to cover the deck.

As the General conscripted about fifty of our men to aid us in the catch, it wasn't more than an hour before we were ankle-deep in fish.

At the same time, Odysseus asked Misenus to tap deeper into our wine. Strangely determined, he made sure the lot of us toasted to 'our gift from Posheidon' several times. -I can't imagine how much wine the General drank.

Anyway, after we had loaded the deck, Odysseus ordered Elpenor to prepare a feast.

A large cauldron was brought up, and Elpenor began directing the preparation of an enormous stew.

By that point, Odysseus was a mess. He was stumbling about the deck, shouting various salty-sounding phrases and slapping anyone within reach hard on the back. -I was pretty drunk myself.

In fact, I don't remember everything after that very clearly.

I do know that at some point, a fish-fight erupted. Lying on my back after slipping for probably the fourth time, I can recall watching a fish sail through the air.

Sitting up, I was struck in the chest. It hurt. -More than I would have expected.

I'm not sure who threw the fish at me, but I remember retaliating against Perimedes. -Now that I think of it, I can't believe he was up and walking around.

Anyway, I then took another one to the back of the head.

Within moments, the air was full of fish.

Oddly, I distinctly remember hitting the General with one. I saw him laughing and tossing a couple, but it didn't seem anyone was bold enough to throw a fish back at him. Thinking it would make him feel better, I lobbed one.

It struck Odysseus the mouth. However, I think he was genuinely pleased. Laughing, the General sent a barrage back at me. -That was painful. I tried to retaliate, but couldn't match the speed or force of his onslaught. Eventually, I just buckled.

Satisfied, Odysseus then turned on Elpenor.

Some time after the fish-fight cooled down, the Lil' Tethys sailed to our side. According to Antiphus, Achaemenides, who has been given command of his own vessel, had requested some of our catch. -Apparently, they hadn't any nets of their own.

Odysseus, who could hardly stand, ordered we fill the aft catapult with our 'gift from Posheidon'.

We shot three salvos at Achaemenides and his crew before the General retired to his quarters. -I hope no one was hurt.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the day dealing with the mess. I instructed Elpenor to cook or begin to dry what fish we could, and had the rest pushed back into the sea.

After dumping our catch, we then had to clean the mess caused by the gulls we attracted. -It wasn't until dark before our work was done.

Every time I passed Baius, he just shook his head.

Ironically, I didn't eat a single fish today.

ρα′

I'm worried about Polites.

Generally, I eat breakfast with Macar, Misenus, Polites and Elpenor. However, today Polites was absent. -While making my morning rounds, I found him standing at the bow.

Not thinking much of it, I tossed a chunk of salted pork at his head. It hit him squarely, but he only shot me a weak smile.

Taking that as a bad sign, I grabbed some breakfast and brought it to him. He thanked me, but just set it down. After a few moments he turned back to the waves.

I started back to my cabin, but then thought otherwise.

Heading back to the bow, I did my best to break the ice. "What the hell is the matter with you, Polites?" I asked.

Acting surprised, Polites assured me that he was fine.

I just nodded and leaned against the bullwark.

Several minutes passed where we just quietly watched the waves. At one point a seagull shat in front of us, and it almost hit me. -Polites snickered at that, which made me feel better.

We stood for a few more minutes in silence. Finally, Polites raised his bandaged hand and spoke: "They got me again Eurylochus. The Trojans shot my same fucking hand."

"Yeah. That's pretty crazy." I laughed.

However, I then noticed Polites eyes were welling up with tears.

Quickly becoming emotional, Polites continued: "My same fucking hand! It's fucking mangled, Eurylochus. I mean, what is that?! It's some kind of sign, isn't it?"

I have to admit, I was confused. Polites isn't a very religious guy, and I couldn't see why he was so upset. Yes, getting shot in his bad hand sucked, but it could have been much worse.

Trying to cheer him up, I patted him on the shoulder and told him so.

It didn't work. In fact, Polites just completely broke down.

At first he started going off about how he looked like a crab, and then started wailing that he didn't think he was going to make it home. -I couldn't understand everything, but he seemed to have some sort of premonition or something.

I tried to give Polites a pat on the back, but he immediately grabbed hold of me. Clutching me like a baby, he began to sob uncontrollably. -Polites and I are old friends, but this made me a bit uncomfortable.

Considering his emotional state, I didn't want to pry him off. However, Polites was wailing like a little girl, and he was definitely making a scene.

As swiftly as I could, I walked Polites back to my quarters. He didn't try to stop me, but he didn't help me either. The entire time, he just continued crying and babbling about how he knew he was doomed. I think at some point Polites even said that he 'wanted his mommy'. -It was pretty bad.

To make matters worse, we passed Odysseus and Elpenor on our way back.

Odysseus is very uncomfortable about displays of emotion, and immediately turned his attention to cuss out some soldiers who paused in scrubbing the deck.

Elpenor asked if Polites was alright. Frustrated, I told him to 'just fuck off', which surprised us both.

After I got Polites to my cabin, I didn't stay to console him. He had embarrassed me enough, and the last thing I wanted was to spend a lot of time in my quarters with him. I just sat him on my bed, and headed back to the deck as quickly as I could.

Purposefully making myself visible to all, I went to give my morning report to Odysseus. -Elpenor immediately found something else to do.

Anyway, for the rest of the morning, Odysseus and I walked the deck and talked about what needed to be done to prepare the fleet for an attack.

Baius expects it will be five or six days before we reach Ismara. -We'd get there sooner if it weren't for our Milesian barge.

The General doesn't think the Ciconians have any reason to expect us. For that reason, we are going to try to come ashore at night. Thankfully, Odysseus simply intends to raid Ismara and then to leave. I was relieved to hear that. -At this point, I don't think we could even suggest a siege to our men.

Odysseus was obviously pleased to talk to me about his plan and he was in good spirits by the time we broke for lunch. -I didn't bring up Polites, and for that I am sure the General was grateful.

I spent the rest of the day playing Alquerque with Misenus. I hadn't played since I lost to Agamemnon, and I was happy to beat him a couple of times.

It wasn't until late in the evening before I dared to return to my quarters. As I hadn't heard from Polites at all, I was half-expecting to find him dead on the floor.

Fortunately he was fast asleep on my cot. -The bastard drained three jugs of my wine.

On my desk I found a letter. Judging by the handwriting, it was written after Polites had gotten himself very drunk. This is what he wrote:

Laodice,

I remember what you said. You wouldn't be proud of me. My hand looks even more like a claw. Laodice, I saw him on the beach and I let him go. I saw Athena when we ran into the temple down your street. She looked at me like you did. She told me my fate was sealed. Ciconians didn't shoot my hand, She did. I'm so sorry about your husband. About everything. If I get back, I'll go to Athens and kill that bastard myself. If She lets me. It was like a dream. Like a burning dream. You burned, Laodice. I'll drown.


I have no idea what that is all about. -I never heard Polites speak of anyone called Laodice.

Anyway, after hiding his letter, I roused Polites and sent him off to his own bunk.

I was really looking forward to a nice cup of wine tonight.

ρ′

A bad day.

This morning Odysseus informed the fleet of his plan to attack the Ciconians.

Just after breakfast, the General asked that I retrieve an officer from each ship. -Counting the Milesian barge and the Lil' Tethys, we have fourteen boats.

Baius informed me that we only needed to raise a signal flag in order to recall the ship's liasons. However, only three of the ship's responded when we did, one of whom was the Lil' Tethys.

Eleven of our fleet took no action, whereas one promptly pulled her oars and dropped her mainsail. -I guess we've been on shore too long.

Anyway, with the aid of Antiphus and the Lil' Tethys, we were able to assemble the officers on our flagship by mid-afternoon.

Polites is usually very helpful when it comes to such things. However, today he was unusually scarce. I recall he tried to catch some ropes at one point, but wasn't of much use with his bandaged hand. After that, I didn't see much more of him.

Odysseus remained in his cabin throughout the whole ordeal. Once I informed him all the officers were present, the General dramatically hobbled out of his cabin, striking the deck hard with his Trojan walking cane.

Pacing in front of officers back and forth, Odysseus appeared thoughtful and grave. Finally, pausing in from of one of our sergeants, he turned and asked: "What love do you have for the Trojans?!"

Confused, the sergeant stammered: "Uh... none. I have none. No love General."

At that Odysseus nodded and continued. Several paces later, he wheeled around again, this time in front of a corporal.

"Ciconians spilled your General's blood, have they not?!" he queried.

"Uh, yes they have. …They have spilled your blood Sir.” the officer squeaked.

"And what does that mean?!” pressed Odysseus, leaning into the soldier’s face.

"Um... That... that we... that we attack the Ciconians?" questioned the now sweaty Ithacan.

"Do we?!" asked Odysseus, apparently surprised. The General then turned away, chuckling.

"Do we?" he whispered to himself thoughtfully.

I had almost forgotten just how weird Odysseus can get at sea.

The assembly remained silent as they watched the General slowly pace back and forth across the deck.

Finally, after a painfully long and obviously false deliberation, Odysseus froze. Spinning, he hobbled back to the corporal and clasped his shoulder.

"What's your name, sergeant?"

"Uh, it's Belus, Sir. …Corporal Belus."

Odysseus grinned and belted: "Well, Sergeant Belus, I agree with your advice. We shall attack the Ciconians! Let us show them the price of Ithacan blood, shall we?!"

The General paused for a cheer. However, none followed. Elpenor made some sort of noise, but cut himself short. -For a few moments afterwards, the deck was silent.

Corporal Belus went pale.

Obviously not receiving the response he intended, Odysseus frowned slightly. Without taking his eyes off his men, he shouted to Baius: "Set a course for the shores of Ismara!"

At that, the General nodded to Belus and me in turn, and then hobbled back to his cabin.

I waited a for a moment, and then unceremoniously dismissed the men.

They didn't leave. Immediately the officers began to press me about our new orders. As much as I sympathized with them, I wasn't in the mood to discuss it. I tried to wave them off, but they continued to badger me. -I could hear the blood flow to my head as the rabble on the deck just got louder and louder.

Unfortunately, it was Belus who put me over the edge. -He pushed through the crowd and asked excitedly: "Am I really a sergeant now!?"

In the midst of the torrent of expletives that followed, I think I told Corporal Belus he was being demoted to 'Private Harpy Shit'.

I lost it.

I dressed down Belus for a solid minute, and then stomped off to my own cabin. -I haven't come out since.

I spent the rest of the day carving a knife handle and drinking wine. -I ended up breaking the handle and managed to cut myself twice.

Oddly, I think I heard Odysseus and Elpenor laughing outside my door a few moments ago.

I guess I had better go and speak with the General before I turn in.

ϙθ′

Odysseus was wounded today.

He took an arrow to his thigh, but I think his pride was hurt the most.

As planned, Odysseus captained the Lil’ Tethys today in search of the mystery ship.

I thought the General would ask me to stay with the fleet. However, he requested that I join him and left Misenus in charge.

Our crew consisted of Odysseus, Baius, Antiphus, Elpenor, and four of our men.

Elpenor came along at my behest. The General shot me a frown as Elpenor came aboard, but I felt poor guy needed some cheering up. As I expected, he was more than happy to come along.

We set of just after daybreak and sailed to the northwest of our fleet. It was an unusually windy morning, and the Tethys really clipped along. Baius was working the sails non-stop. I don’t think we let any wind pass us that couldn’t be caught.

Due to his efforts, it wasn’t long before we lost sight of our Ithacans. A couple of hours later, we saw the mystery ship once again.

Upon spotting it, Odysseus became very animated. In an oddly salty voice, he shouted: “There she is Biaus, my boy! Don’t let her loose of us this time!”

At that, Biaus gave Odysseus a nod and went to work.

The General then immediately proceeded to the bow, where he conspicuously remained with one foot propped up upon the bulwark while we closed the distance.

Shortly after Odysseus took this dramatic pose, Elpenor walked up and assumed a similar stance close behind. Elpenor shouted something to the General, but I couldn’t hear what it was. Whatever he said, Odysseus didn’t look back to acknowledge it.

A couple of minutes later Elpenor strolled back from the bow and started to look about the boat purposefully.

Elpenor's pathetic behavior pissed me off. I shouldn’t have brought him just because I felt guilty. As his commanding officer, it isn’t my job to console him. No doubt Odysseus would blame me for his lameness.

Anyway, the General maintained his theatrical pose for the better part of an hour. -By that time we had drawn within a few hundred yards of what was a large bireme.

Polites has sharp eyes, and he was the first one to identify the craft to be Ciconian. Odysseus’ suspicions were confirmed, -they were indeed Trojans.

Obviously pleased with himself, the General charged back to Biaus, and ordered to be brought up alongside the Ciconian vessel.

Biaus dutifully nodded. Polites, who was standing next to me whispered: “Oh shit.”

I still can’t see why Odysseus wanted to get close to such a large enemy ship. Nor do I understand what we were supposed to do when we got there. Nevertheless, Biaus carried out the Odysseus’ wish.

As the Lil’ Tethys made it’s way nearer to the Ciconian vessel, my heart sank as more and more faces appeared on her deck. We weren’t flying any colors, and they were obviously curious about our little boat.

When we were no more than ten yards from the Ciconian’s churning oars, a low voice hailed from above us.

“Ahoy there! We travel to Ismara from the shores of Troy. -Be you friend or foe?”

The addressing figure was likely a general. He wore a large feathered hat, and was shouting through an orator’s cone. -He was flanked by no less than fifty Ciconians.

Odysseus asked for our cone, but we didn’t have one.

Frustrated, he waved his hands and hollered: “Friend or foe?! You withered harpy tits, we’re the same Ithacans that ran you out of Troy!”

A sharp silence followed. Obviously no one expected Odysseus’ response. Not us on the the Lil’ Tethys, and obviously not the Ciconians.

After several long seconds, Odysseus got his answer. -This was an arrow in his leg.

As I had been watching for the Ciconian general’s reaction, I didn’t see where the shot came from. Odysseus who was standing next to me just suddenly yelled: “Mother of Zeus! Arrrggh! Shit, shit!”

With that, the General hopped backwards and fell onto a pile of rope. He then screamed at Biaus: “Sail dammit! Sail! Apollo’s ass, get us out of here!”

That’s when a barrage of arrows and spears began to fall upon us.

Given that I wasn’t armed with anything but a sword, I immediately ducked behind a crate near Odysseus. I tried to pull him towards me, but accidentally grabbed his wounded leg. Furious, he screamed: “Fucking Zeus, Eurylochus! What are you doing?!”

Letting go, I forced myself to stand up. I didn’t want to, but I felt kind of dumb cowering while the General lay exposed.

Strangely, for the moment Odysseus was glaring at me, I almost wanted to get hit.

Fortunately, my wish wasn’t granted. In fact, besides Odysseus, only Polites and one other crewman named Perimedes were wounded. Perimedes looks the worst. He took a short spear to the gut. Amazingly, he pulled it out almost immediately after he was struck. Polites got an arrow in his two-fingered hand. -Go figure.

As the Lil’ Tethys is light, it didn’t take much for Baius to break off from the Ciconians. In fact, he simply let out the main sail and turned hard. As a result, the bireme quickly outpaced us. By the time they attempted to come-about, we were well on our way back to our fleet.

Seeing the General was wounded, Elpenor instantly tried to help. Of course, Odysseus wasn’t having it. After several attempts to dress the wound, Odysseus loudly called Elpenor a ‘Nereid’s daughter’, which sent him quietly to the bow.

It took about three hours before we located and caught up with the rest of our Ithacans. I spent that time trying to look purposeful while avoiding Odysseus.

Not more than an hour after we got back on our flagship Odysseus came to see me. By that point he didn’t seem upset at all. In fact, Odysseus proudly showed me his wound, and seemed pretty pleased with a Trojan walking-cane Macar provided him.

No doubt Odysseus’ injury impressed the rest of the fleet more than it did the crew of the Lil’ Tethys.

Anyway, after laughing off our ‘little adventure’ Odysseus informed me that we were changing our course to the Ciconian city of Ismara.

That's right: We are no longer heading directly home.

Instead, we must first undertake a military action on account of our General’s ego. -After all, this is why wars are fought.

Odysseus plans to inform the fleet tomorrow.

ϙη′

I had a long chat with Elpenor last night. -He’s taken Epieus’ departure pretty hard.

I did my best to cheer him up by talking about home. Unfortunately, mentioning his kids didn’t help. -I didn’t bring up the fact he has a wife to come back to as well.

I guess I am fortunate in that respect.

We’ve been gone for about ten years now, and I can’t imagine returning to a family after all that has happened. It would be like going back in time, I think.

No doubt, I’m not the same person that left Ithaca so many years ago. I can’t imagine returning to a family that expected to meet that Eurylochus. -Seeing Mom is going to be odd enough. If she’s still about, that is.

I don’t know why I stopped writing her.

Anyway, I did manage to get Elpenor to laugh a few times before I turned in last night. It must have done some good, because he cooked breakfast for Odysseus and us officers this morning.

Unfortunately, Polites had to tell Elpenor that his eggs weren’t as fluffy as Epieus’ were. -Polites can be such a bastard.

Polites got his due, however. -Odysseus immediately ordered him to surrender what eggs he had left.

The weather was nice today, and we are making fairly good time. If it weren’t for that Milesian barge, we’d be doing much better. -That thing is a log with a sail. We’ve continually had to over extend our tacks just to keep the thing in sight.

Oddly, we have brought the Lil’ Tethys with us as well. Unlike the Milesian barge, Baius’ converted fishing craft can outrun any one of our vessels. I can’t believe such a tiny boat is seaworthy. Still, Baius seems to think so. -I’m sure he’d be sailing the Tethys himself if Odysseus hadn’t made him our helmsman.

Currently, the little craft is under the command of a guy named Antiphus. I haven’t met him yet. Apparently Antiphus is an Aetolian captain, but has a cousin or something in Ithaca. -I guess he’s a mariner buddy of Baius, and the General agreed to take him along with us.

Already, the Lil’ Tethys has been useful for carrying messages between our ships.

Not long after dinner, we sighted a sail far to the north of us. As most of the Achaeans headed to the south or west, we don’t think it’s one of ours.

At any rate, not long after it appeared, we lost sight of it. -Odysseus thinks the ship was avoiding us.

Now it’s too dark to see anything.

Because of that damned barge, we don’t have much chance of catching anything. -It’s either we stay with our spoils or we split the fleet.

Anyway, the General has resolved to take the Lil’ Tethys and to find this ship at first light.

I’d better get some rest.

Dεαr UO rεαδεrs:

This chapter of Under Odysseus has come to a close.

Thank you to all who have followed Eurylochus' story thus far. In particular, I would like to thank those who have taken the time to share their thoughts and feelings along the way.

UO has been a pleasure to write.

Recently, the time I've been able to commit to UO has diminished. However, as you may suspect, we are only halfway through this story.

I predict the second part of this story will begin in the fall. In addition, I plan to make a well-edited version of UO available.

Until then, I will post any additional projects I might have running in the sidebar. Stay tuned.

Thanks!

ϙζ′

Homeward bound!

I am writing this from inside my cabin. I haven’t been in this room for almost ten years. In some ways, it feels like yesterday. In others, it could have been a century ago.

My little room, which is just small enough to prevent useful rest, is adjacent to the General’s. -In fact, I can clearly hear Odysseus snoring at the moment. It's almost as if he is timing his snores to the waves slapping upon our hull.

Slap, slap, slap, snore. Slap, slap, slap, snore.

We are making good time.

Today was breezy from the outset.

Soon after we had shoved off, I joined Odysseus, Biaus and Macar on the bow. Odysseus was in a good mood, and his jovial chatter was almost witty.

Macar had brought up a jug of wine. As Odysseus made us laugh, we drank Macar’s wine and inhaled the salty mist as we cut out to sea. By the time I thought to look back, I could only see a grayish plume rising from the smoldering ruins of Troy.

I almost forgot to say goodbye.

I have a strange feeling in me right now. When we first arrived in Troy, I would often wake in the morning, surprised I wasn’t in Ithaca. -Those days have long since passed.

No doubt I’ll wake up tomorrow expecting to be on the beachhead.

Not long after we cleared ourselves from the Achaean fleet, Odysseus ordered Biaus to raise the main sail. To everyone’s pleasant surprise, Elpenor and Epieus had painted a large silhouette of a horse on the sail. In response, a cheer erupted from all on board and from those Ithacan ships nearby. Odysseus’ eyes welled with tears. -To be honest, mine did as well.

Epieus didn’t come with us after all. -I guess he was Phocian.

I saw Elpenor and Epieus saying their goodbyes early this morning. Elpenor has been sitting at the stern all day. -Even Polites has left him alone.

I am going to check on the men before turning in. Maybe I’ll have a chat with Elpenor.

Anyway, it appears we won the Trojan War.

Two weeks of weather like this and we are home.

ϙϛ′

Last night was nice.

However, I am not sure I will see Aegle again.

We set sail tomorrow.

Aegle is returning to Sparta with Melenaus’ fleet. -I think they are leaving tomorrow as well. Nonetheless, we shared a pleasant last evening together.

Uncharacteristically, Odysseus spent the entire day with us Ithacans. I am glad he did. Much needed to be done today and the General’s presence made the men easier to deal with.

Nonetheless, I feel like I spent the whole day just running from one place to the next. I swear I must have down to the beach and back up again more than a dozen times. -My calves are killing me.

Anyway, a couple of interesting things did occur on our last day here.

Most notably, just after lunch, about two thousand Achaeans, including about one-hundred of our own Ithacans, marched from north of the city and into camp. General Agapenor was apparently commanding them. According to Agapenor, these unaccounted for men had spent the last week chasing a large contingent of the Trojan army up the coast.

I’m not so sure about that story. Agapenor’s contingent returned with three carts loaded with spoils. -I didn’t see any armor or weapons in them.

Nonetheless, Agapenor presented one of these carts to Menelaus and Helen. That seemed to please Agamennon, and everyone more or less cheered their return.

Although we could have punished our truant Ithacans for desertion, Odysseus heartily welcomed them back. -Maybe it’s because they treated him with trunk of goods as well.

Macar wasn’t so thrilled about arranging for one-hundred more Ithacans, however.

The second thing of note was the return of Hermes’ helmet.

Actually, Macar recognized it amidst our spoils as he was doing a final inventory this afternoon. -I have no idea where it came from.

After Macar showed me the winged helm, I decided to strap it on a new goat and present it to Odysseus. We assembled a number of our Ithacans about for the presentation. The General was obviously pleased with the attention.

And, although he appreciated the gesture, Odysseus wasn’t as concerned with the wellbeing of the new Hermes. -In fact, after patting Hermes’ helm, he ceremoniously ordered Elpenor and Epeius to cook him for dinner.

As for the helmet, it went back in the boat.

Of course, Elpenor and Epeius made a delicious meal. In addition to the new Hermes, they cooked some miscellaneous livestock that wasn’t to be loaded, and a goose Polites liberated from the Minyans.

For his part, Odysseus ordered Macar to liberally tap into our stocks of wine. As a result, we Ithacans spent an agreeable final evening on the shores of Troy.

In fact, the men were in such good spirits, that not long after dinner, a sort of impromptu wrestling competition commenced. Epeius was the hands-down winner. -That is, until our men cajoled Odysseus into a match with their champion.

Epeius is wryly. However, Odysseus made quick work of him. -The men loved it.

Come to think of it, I don’t know what is going to become of Epeius and Elpenor. Epeius didn’t sail here with us. I think he’s from Phocis, but now I’m not actually sure. For some reason, I’ve always thought that he arrived with the Phocians. -His breathy lisp sounds a bit Phocian.

Anyway, I don’t now if Epeius has plans to sail back with us, or if he’s going to return to wherever he’s from. Not that Odysseus would mind if he comes along. -He did build the Wooden Horse after all.

Elpenor does have a wife and two kids in Ithaca, though.

It seems the rest of the Achaeans are fractioning into their individual camps just as ours has.

Diomedes and Nestor did stop by a short while ago. Diomedes and Odysseus laughed loudly and slapped each other on their back repeatedly. Nestor gave Odysseus a teary-eyed hug. After chatting for some time, Odysseus informed me that he was going to pay his respects to Agamemnon, and the three left together.

A few minutes ago, Calchas showed up.

Doing his best to appear aloof, he asked me to point him to our flagship. -He’s down there throwing some kind of lucky crap on it right now.

Mother of Zeus. -Tomorrow, we sail for home.

ϙε′

Surprisingly, today was pleasant.

Today, I awoke to a call for an assembly.

It was almost noon, and coming out of my tent, I was embarrassed to find Macar, Misenus, Polites, Euryalus, Elpenor and Epieus having lunch with Generals Odysseus and Diomedes just outside.

Even more embarrassing, I stumbled out brandishing my new sword. -I had meant to discreetly show it to Misenus.

As I staggered out into the glaring sun, Polites leapt up and shouted: “Lead us, and we’ll follow, Captain Eurylochus!” -That bastard.

Anyway, after the crew had a good laugh at my expense, we all left for the assembly. -It was called by Agamemnon.

Nearly the entire army had responded to the call, which meant about eighty-thousand men circled about the Commander-in-Chief’s platform. Taking advantage of Odysseus’ and Diomedes’ rank, we pushed our way to the front where we could hear. In fact, once we arrived, the two generals climbed onto the stage.

Besides Odysseus and Diomedes, Agamemnon was flanked by Nestor, Calchas, Little Ajax, Thaos, Neoptolemus and oddly, Helenus. Incredibly, Helenus was wearing a breastplate with a big ‘alpha’ on it. Neoptolemus kept his hand on Helenus’ shoulder the entire time. -That was sort of creepy.

Still, even more remarkable, sitting on three stools in front of Agamemnon were Cassandra, Melenaus (who was wearing his huge winged helmet), and yes, Helen.

Euryalus was right. She is incredible.

I can’t say that Helen is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. However, she is definitely one of the most memorable. I’m not even sure what it is about her. To me, she looks like a moving statue. -Very cool and very deliberate. -It was an effort not to stare at her.

I’m not sure if that makes any sense. Still, if a war were to be fought over a woman, it might as well be fought over a woman like her.

Today Agamemnon delivered our victory speech.

In a tone of exaggerated pride, the Commander-in-Chief kicked off his oration by announcing that we had indeed won the war.

This immediately fired up the crowd.

According to Agamemnon: “Helen has been recovered from her unjust captors!”, and “Olympus has witnessed the honor and might of the Achaean soldier!”

A deafening cheer followed.

Obviously feeling it, Agamemnon began to loudly list some highlights from our ten-year siege.

Often, this meant recognizing the feats of particular commander. Initially, these acknowledgments were followed by outbursts of enthusiasm from the honoree's respective contingent. -Soon after, the Commander-in-Chief couldn’t be heard above the host's constant roar.

It didn’t take long before the revelry became wholly detached from Agamemnon’s speech. In fact, after a few of these ‘highlights of the siege’, the entire army evolved into an untamed flock of revelry. At one point, I saw a distraught Teucer tossed high into the air.

Even so, as Agamemnon recklessly fueled the crowd’s madness, I couldn’t help but calmly watch Helen. Oddly, she paid little attention to Commander-in-Chief, her husband, or even the growing chaos about her. Instead, Helen and Cassandra casually exchanged the occasional whisper or shared in a polite giggle. -Helen and Cassandra’s behavior gave me the sense they had been through this on more than one occasion.

Anyway, after shouting inaudibly for some time, Agamemnon began to visibly pay homage to those Generals sharing the stage. He did so by grasping the General’s hand, and thrusting it triumphantly into the air.

The men went wild for Nestor. They were even crazier for Neoptolemus who pumped his fists and howled. -Helenus excitedly did the same. However, once the Commander-in-Chief raised Odysseus’ hand, the crowd just lost it.

In fact, the last thing I heard from Agamemnon was “…wooden horse”. -That’s when the crowd surged and I was lifted atop the stage. -I almost fell into Cassandra’s lap.

Before I could stand, I was immediately cast aside by a furious Agamemnon, who didn’t seem to recognize who I was.

A moment of general panic followed.

Fortunately, the crowd behind the platform was less dense, and following Nestor’s pitiless cane, the Commander-in-Chief’s entourage made a hasty escape. -I swiftly followed with Misenus and Macar.

After broking free of the mob, the three of us headed down to the beach. -Odysseus and Diomedes followed Agamemnon, of course.

The army has been in a riotous state since this morning. I did visit our ‘encampment’ a few times, just to make sure our Ithacans weren’t completely out of control. However, most of the day I was down at the water.

Except for a few provisions and our tents, the boats are ready to go. -I suppose we’ll set sail for home in a day or two.

Baius thinks the trip will take just over two weeks. Three weeks at worst. -He says if it weren’t for the Milesian barge we’ve added, we could be home a few days earlier.

Still, the Milesian ship is loaded with a good portion of our spoils.

Macar took me aboard to have a look at them. -It was incredible. We have a fortune upon that ship. I said it looked like enough to buy a kingdom. Macar laughed at that. However, he agreed it would be a good start.

Seeing all those riches, I thought we should increase our guard down at the beach. Macar didn’t think it was necessary. He said our entire army had done well, and that there was little reason for one contingent to steal from any other one in particular. -Not just yet, anyhow. I guess he is right.

After some time, Elpenor and Epieus wandered down to the boats, each carrying a leg of lamb and bottle of wine. -I recognized the wine as the same I had given to Epieus for his buckle some time ago.

The six of us sat on the bow of a ship, eating dinner and talking as the sun went down.

One of those pleasant Trojan breezes was blowing tonight. It was warm, but crisp, and often changed directions.

Every once in a while we’d get a whiff of roasting meat. -Sometimes I think I could smell the smoldering city.

Sitting there on the ship with those guys, I began to feel excited about going home.

Anyway, the sun set a few hours ago, and the army has settled down somewhat.

I just repacked my things once again.

I keep putting my sword away. However, after I do, I think twice about it and put it back on my belt. -It makes me nervous to just leave it in a trunk.

It’s odd: Macar doesn’t seem worried about our entire Ithacan spoils, and yet, I can’t leave this sword unattended in my own tent. -Maybe I should just give the thing to someone else. Or, maybe I should have Achaemenides hold it for me until we get home.

-Polites just dropped in with Euryalus. They are both beyond drunk, but very excited. Polites says he just saw Aegle near Agamemnon’s camp.

Apparently, she was asking about me. Of course, Polites promised to fetch me for her. -I can just picture him doing that.

Those two are laughing like a couple of assholes.

-Goodnight.

ϙδ′

We’ve destroyed Troy.

A strong wind blew all night, and the city burned to the ground.

What’s left of our army is sitting on the Trojan plain, watching an enormous coloumn of smoke rise from within the charred walls.

I don’t know how many Achaeans were lost, but if I had to guess, I’d say at least one-fourth of our army is missing. -That’s about thirty-thousand men.

No doubt some of these Achaeans had followed the Trojan refugees to the north. However, I am sure a number of them burned within the city last night.

Not long after I had gone down to visit Macar and Oineus, it became apparent there was going to be a problem. -The winds about Troy can pick up quickly, and last night they were especially swift to do so.

These heavy winds fueled the fires in the north of the city, and then spread them over the rest of us.

Ten minutes after I had walked into the square, we noticed a warm glow over the rooftops to the north. Ten minutes after that, we were frantically grabbing everything we could carry.

Thankfully, our little neighborhood was just a few hundred meters from the main city gates. As a result, we Ithacans were amongst the first to evacuate. -I don’t think we lost a single man.

Furthermore, as we hadn’t needed many supplies, not much had been brought into the city. -In fact, our Ithacan losses were extremely light.

As soon as the city’s fate was obvious, I ordered Epieus and Elpenor to release the Trojan women.

At that point, I had no plans to reveal Cassandra’s identity. However, once I announced the city was burning, she did it for me.

As a matter of fact, after I related the news to Elpenor, the Princess raced across the cellar, clutched my shoulders, licked my face and squealed: “Really? Is it so?! Oh, please, please tell me it’s so!”

To her impossibly even greater delight, -I told her it was so.

Coyly, the princess then asked me: “You know I am a daughter of Priam, don’t you, Mr. Captain.”

I acknowledged that I did.

“And, you know King Agamemnon, don’t you?” she teased.

Once again, I nodded.

Moments later, Cassandra was gleefully dancing about our little barricaded square.

For all of King Priam’s greatness, he wasn’t so great at passing it along.

Anyway, after the rest of the Trojan woman had scattered, I got to the business of saving what we could.

It wasn’t until we had evacuated the city that I began to consider that Odysseus might not have made it out.

Hours later, as I watched the sun rise with Misenus and Macar, I began to consider what to do with the command of our army.

Our boats were still ready. The city was destroyed. -It didn’t take long before I decided we needed go.

The only question was: How long should we wait for the General?

No doubt, food was going to be in short supply. We were sharing the plain with about eighty-thousand soldiers. Eighty-thousand soldiers without a war. -Not to mention that I good fraction of these men had just lost their leaders.

We couldn’t wait very long.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to.

Just before noon, the 'Helen recovery expedition' returned. -Odysseus, and everyone else, was fine.

Oddly, Cassandra was with them. So was her crazy brother Helenus.

Apparently, Agamemnon and his troupe left Troy soon after setting out. -It seems Helen had escaped the city, and they easily tracked her to one of the small villages to the north.

I never did see Helen, or Menelaus, for that matter. Those of us who received the party were told the ‘happy’ couple was residing within an ornate Trojan coach pulled by a few horses. -Calchas was sitting atop of this carriage.

Maybe Helen and Menelaus didn’t want to spoil their reunion with fanfare.

Anyway, Polites later related the story to me.

In short, Diomedes had payed off a Trojan aristocrat for information regarding Helen’s whereabouts.

Helen was found on a small estate, in the company of a few Trojan nobles, and Paris’ brother, Deiphobus. According to Deiphobus, Paris had died sometime ago and he was Helen’s new husband.

Polites heard that Paris died of an infected hangnail. -I don’t know about that.

In any case, I guess Agamemnon and his men surrounded this estate, and called for Helen to surrender herself. That’s when Deiphobus came out with a few Trojans, and asked them to leave.

Polites said Deiphobus thought a truce should be called, since Helen was no longer with Paris.

Of course, Agamemnon didn’t see it that way.

In response, Deiphobus challenged Menelaus to a duel.

That would have been a joke. No doubt, Menelaus would have been slaughtered. However, before Agamemnon needed an excuse for his brother, Odysseus tossed a javelin into Deiphobus’ chest.

The Achaeans then killed the remaining nobles, and raided the house.

Polites said that according to Agamemnon, Menelaus’ wife was found locked inside a closet, -an unwilling captive of Deiphobus.

Helen’s brother Helenus was found within a closet as well. -A captive of his imagination, I’d guess.

Anyway, most of the Achaens, including Polites, never saw Helen personally.

Euryalus, however, claims to have seen her. In fact, his exact words to Polites were, that he: “…had never seen, nor ever expects to see again, such total hotness”.

Polites doubts Euryalus’ story. I have my doubts as well. -However, maybe Polites is just bitter that he missed out on seeing 'such total hotness’.

In any case, the party found Helen and Helenus, looted the house, and then returned to find the city engulfed in flames.

Oddly enough, Polites said that as the commanders made their way around the city, they came across Cassandra, whom was lying in their path, tending to an injured ankle.

Moved by her plight, Agamemnon ordered her to be put atop his horse. -Cassandra was with the Commander-in-Chief when they arrived.

Strangely, Helenus seems to be adopted by Neoptolemus. -They shared a horse as well.

Of course, Odysseus wasn’t available most of the day. However, I did speak to him just moments ago.

The General dropped by my tent to inquire about the state of our supplies, and how many men we had left.

I told him that it would take me some more time to figure that out. -He nodded and smiled.

Odysseus also asked that Macar see Diomedes’ supply officer tomorrow. Apparently, Diomedes’ Argosians had been looting the Trojan treasury during the last few days. Odysseus wanted Macar to see that our spoils were properly stowed upon our ships.

I was surprised to hear this, but I just nodded without expression.

After that, Odysseus did something unusual.

Just as he turned to leave, the General stopped, turned back, and pulled a large ornate sword from his belt. Odysseus then presented the sword to me and said: “Eurylochus, I want you to have this. -You’ve earned it.”

Somewhat stunned, I took the sword and said: “Thank you, General”.

At that, Odysseus smiled and left.

However, just after he had exited, Odysseus stuck his head back inside my and said: “Could you get me a tent for tonight, Eurylochus?” Smiling, I informed him that his was the next one over. -Odysseus left laughing.

The sword is sitting next to me as I write this. -I’m sure it was the heirloom of some Trojan aristocrat.

It looks old. It’s probably solid gold, and is covered in jewels. -I could probably trade this sword for a few ships, including the crews to sail them.

I wonder if I’ve earned this sword.

I wonder if any of its previous owners ever did.

ϙγ′

Today wasn’t any better.

Just after sunrise, Agamemnon called a general assembly in the center of our small barricaded square.

Unfortunately, the assembly wasn’t so general. At best, there might be a dozen of our Achaean commanders now residing within or nearby this center of Achaean command. Of that dozen, seven showed up for the Commander-in-Chief’s rally. Including their aides and some curious troops, about fifty Achaeans were present.

Maybe the turnout would have been better after breakfast.

Anyway, I’ve never been a fan of these speeches. However, today I was somewhat eager to hear what Agamemnon had to say.

During the unabated chaos of these last days, I was certain the Commander’s low profile meant he had been hard at work, formulating some sort of plan. As this was the first time an assembly had been called, I thought this morning’s address might be the first step in setting things right. -Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case at all.

In fact, the subject of this morning’s rally was Menelaus’ estranged wife, Helen.

Agamemnon didn’t mention his brother’s mishap in the Horse. However, it was apparent Menelaus had since recovered, and was now eager to find the wife that walked out on him ten years ago. -Or, likely closer to the truth: Agamemnon was eager to restore Menelaus’ lost honor.

Or, maybe even closer to the truth: Returning Helen is actually about Agememnon restoring his own honor. -It was Agamemnon who convinced Helen to marry Melenaus in the first place, after all.

Maybe the Commander-in-Chief felt that Helen’s elopement with Paris was a slight to him personally.

Mother of Zeus, the egos...

Anyway, the quest to retrieve Helen was announced to excited cheers to all those present.

Yes, most of our army had gone astray. Yes, we had been attacked by our own Achaeans. Yes, a good fraction of Troy was burning. Still, we musn’t forget what this is all about.

Personally, I hadn’t forgotten. I’ve been keenly aware of the pettiness of our objective all along.

Even so, I suppose that deep inside, I’ve unconsciously harbored the notion there might be some rational, or at least nobler, reason for this decade-long war. -Agamemnon’s oration this morning laid those delusions to rest once and for all.

I can’t even say that we’ve actually taken the city. Yes, Troy has been destroyed. There can be no doubt about that. Hell, we’ve even killed old King Priam.

However, in my mind, I always imagined the sack of Troy would be something much more orderly and complete. -I guess I had visions of Agamemnon, sitting upon Priam’s throne, making decrees, and dividing the treasury amongst his generals. -All the while, the Trojans nobles we subjugated would look on sullenly, yet somehow honorably understand.

Instead, we’ve been holed up in an obscure residential district, neglecting the city as it collapsed and burned around us.

Nonetheless, before Agamemnon had finished speaking, the few generals present emphatically proclaimed their support. -Neoptolemus, somewhat gracelessly, declared: “We won’t sleep until the wench is ours!”

At that, most everyone winced. However, it didn’t seem to register with Menelaus. In fact, Menelaus hadn’t said a word. Instead, Agamemnon’s pasty sibling just stood at his side, watching his older brother with a look of uncertain admiration.

Odysseus, who was already armored, broke the silence following Neoptolemus’ declaration, announcing that a party should be assembled immediately. To this end, the General grandly ordered me to gather two dozen of our ‘finest’ men. -I nodded, and thankfully excused myself.

As I left the square, I ran into Polites and Euryalus. -They had just finished their breakfast.

After relating the plan to them, I charged Polites with assembling the party. For some reason, Polites seemed grateful and excited.

The expedition for Helen set out just before noon. Excepting Eumelus, every one of the local generals left. -I suppose this is what they’ve all been waiting for.

All told, about two-hundred Achaens went in search of Melenaus’ wife.

Flanked by his brother and Odysseus, Menelaus awkwardly led this contingent out of the square, wearing a bright red cape and his enormous winged helmet.

Now the sun is now setting, and the search party hasn’t returned.

I can’t help but wonder if they weren’t too late in getting started. Personally, I would guess that if Paris and Helen had not escaped immediately, they wouldn’t have lingered long after the death of Priam. To be honest, I hope Helen did escape.

As for myself, I spent much of the day with General Eumelus. -He was left in charge of defending our camp.

After watching him sitting alone by the fountain for some time, Elpenor and I decided to go down to chat with him.

General Eumelus comes off as a little dim. However, he isn’t such a bad guy. In fact, after talking for some time, I got the impression that he and I shared many of the same misgivings about this whole operation. In fact, I think he volunteered to defend our square for this very reason.

Unfortunately, not long after we began our discussion, the three of us made a grisly discovery.

As Eumelus and I sat upon the fountain, reflecting upon the state of things, Elpenor noticed an unusual number of men had been visiting the residence of Little Ajax. -Since Little Ajax had left with Menelaus’ troupe, Eumelus thought we should investigate.

To our surprise, when we arrived, the Locrian guards outside Ajax’s home warmly welcomed us in. Soon after being escorted downstairs, we realized why. -Little Ajax’s cellar was full of young Trojan women.

Beaming, one of our Locrian hosts informed Eumelus that for him, everything was free of charge.

Dumbfounded, the three of us just stared at each other for a moment. Then, as politely as we could, we excused ourselves.

Two hours later, General Eumelus and I seized the Locrian harem with the aid of a few hundred Pheraens and Ithacans.

Luckily, we took them by surprise, and no blood was shed. -However, the Locrian guards were incensed.

Since then, Macar and one of Eumelus’ captains named Oineus have kept the square secure with a large host of men. -I’m sure Macar will keep a close eye on those Locrians.

As we didn’t think it safe to set the Trojan women free, Elpenor and Epieus have been looking after them in our own cellar. I can only hope that Odysseus does the right thing when he returns. -I assume he will.

Even so, as odd as it seems, I recognized one member of the Locrian harem as the Trojan princess, Cassandra. -I remember Polites pointing her out back when Patroclus and Hector fought. -As no one else seemed to recognize her, I didn’t say a thing.

Now, I’m not sure what to do.

No doubt, the Trojan princess has suffered enough. Yet, I don’t think I can just let her go. Still, I hate to think what her fate might be if the commanders return without finding Helen. -It won’t even matter whether or not she knows anything.

Maybe I can just sneak her out and not mention it.

Apollo’s ass, this sucks.

I’ve watched the sun has set upon the city of Troy once again. The wind is picking up, and it looks like there are more fires burning.

I guess I’ll go down and check on Macar.

ϙβ′

Mother of Zeus, everyone’s gone mad.

It’s our second night in the city of Troy. -Fires are burning everywhere and the streets are full of bodies.

Our once disciplined army of over one-hundred thousand Achaeans has transformed into an insane plague of death and destruction. -It’s not even safe for our own soldiers to move about.

In fact, just this morning, Achaemenides and Macar were ambushed by a group of Locrians as they returned from a grainery not more than two-hundred meters off. -The bastards didn’t even steal our carts. The only overturned them, killed a horse, and crushed the leg of one of our petty officers.

Macar believes they would have fared worse had Achaemenides not promptly removed the head of one of the assailants.

It’s complete anarchy out there.

Even so, I only know as much as has been reported to me, as I’ve been cooped up in this house since yesterday morning.

The window I am sitting at overlooks a small courtyard and fountain, centered upon the intersection of five narrow streets. Soon after Macar and Achaemenides returned, barricades were set up around the small square we’ve occupied. -This is now the center of our Achaean command.

Each residence encompasing this square is the headquarters of one or more of our Achaean Generals.

I don’t know all of our neighbors just yet. However, I do know that Agamemnon and Diomedes are residing in two houses across the way. Eumelus and Thaos are sharing the manor to our west, and Neoptolemus and a mixed group of racous soldiers has claimed the apartment complex to our east.

By the way, Neoptolemus was in fact carrying Priam’s head yesterday.

After coming down to see his grizly prize for myself, I asked Misenus to escort the son of Achilles over to Agamemnon’s quarters. As he left, Neoptolemus gave me an intensely cold look that I could only interpret as: “This could be you, asshole.” -I just shook my head.

As Misenus related, Agamemnon didn’t seem too pleased with Neoptolemus’ gift. Maybe it’s because Agamemnon had intended to give Priam quarter. -Then again, maybe that’s because Neoptolemus booted it to him.

Worst of all, Neoptolemus claimed to have slaughtered the King of Troy in the Temple of Zeus, where he and his family had “cowardly” sought refuge. According to Misenus, Calchas really freaked out at hearing this, which in turn got the Commander-in-Chief got pretty worked up.

I guess Odysseus had to escort Neoptolemus out before things got ugly.

Speaking of Odysseus, he soon returned to our quarters after dealing with Neoptolemus.

The General seemed pretty agitated when he arrived, and even though Macar and I had been watching Little Ajax and his Locrians move in three doors down, we didn’t bother to mention the morning’s ambush to Odysseus.

The fact that Macar didn’t betray the slightest bit of indignance shows just what kind of soldier he is. Still, I don’t believe Macar has forgiveness in mind. –No doubt, those Locrians have something coming to them.

Anyway, after Macar stoicly excused himself, Odysseus decided to pen another letter to Penelope.

I really hate when the General does that. For some reason, he thinks writing to his wife is going to calm his nerves. -It always has the same result.

Here is today’s tour de force:

Dearest Penelope,

Guess what my dearest love? We have won! Yes, we have won. Zeus and Ares, and likely Apollo, have smiled upon your General and his good Ithacans. Troy has now fallen.

How is Telemachus?

Now that your General has achieved this greatest achievement, he looks forward to seeing his dearest Penelope. As well as his good son, Telemachus. And his dogs. How is the garden?

At that, Odysseus asked me to toss out the letter and rewrite it myself. -I haven’t yet gotten around to it.

Somehow, after transcribing the General’s letter, my head seems somehow polluted. -I’m going to give it some time before relating our victory to Penelope as Odysseus.

Not that this feels much like a victory.

Anyway, after the dictation, Odysseus asked a few random questions about our Ithacans. -I did my best to put him at ease.

Odysseus then mentioned that Agamemnon had planned on a game of alquerque tonight, and that he was going to see if he was still interested. -At that, Odysseus left.

Contrary to what I told the General, As it stands, I can account for about one-third of our men. The majority of those are more or less concentrated in the tree-lined neighborhood behind us. Polites and Misenus have been my main lines of communication with this contingent. -As for the rest of our Ithacans, I can only guess.

I’ve heard the northern neighborhoods are some sort of hell on earth. It does seem to be the place with the most fires. -I would guess a good number of our missing Ithacans are there.

As for the others, Elpenor and Epieus are living in the rooms below me, as are Macar and Achaemenides. Biaus is down at the beach with about fifty more of our soldiers.

On a positive note, the pantry in this house was well-stocked, and Elpenor and Epeius have been working their magic three times a day.

Across the way, I just saw Diomedes enter Agamemnon’s house with a group of women. -Aegle wasn’t one of them.

ϙα′

Unbelievable. -It worked.

The Wooden Horse Plan worked.

I am writing this from inside the walls of Troy.

In fact, I am currently sitting at the desk of a Trojan aristocrat, the owner of which has either fled or been killed. -His large house has become our temporary Ithacan base of operations.

Looking out of the window in front of me, I can see the sun set over the rooftops of Troy. -It’s really a beautiful city.

Unfortunately, much of it is now burning.

Actually, we Achaeans don’t have complete control of the entire city just yet; a number of battles are still underway in the northern and western neighborhoods. -Even so, there can be little doubt about the final outcome now.

I believe the parts of the city we do have control over, have been completely ransacked. -Maybe a bit too much so.

Nonetheless, after ten long years, we Achaeans have sacked the city of Troy.

This is how it happened:

As of yesterday evening, fifty-one of us Achaeans (I decided not let Elpenor replace General Idomeneus after all), had been slowly cooking to death inside the Wooden Horse for almost three days.

By that point, morale inside the Horse was worse than low. -It was nonexistent.

Several of our men had passed out from the heat, Menelaus had lost his mind, and nearly every general but Odysseus had openly talked of abandoning the Plan.

In fact, I think the only commander that hadn’t complained was Neoptolemus. Actually, the son of Achilles hadn’t said a thing since had had entered the Horse, not even as he knocked Menelaus out.

Anyway, facing inevitable mutiny, Odysseus quietly announced that we would exit the Horse that night, regardless of whether we were inside the city or not. -Odysseus declared this in a military tone. However, it was impossible not to hear disappointment in his voice.

Oddly, only minutes after Odysseus had acquiesced to our dispirited troupe, the Wooden Horse was abruptly jolted.

Looking through the hole at my feet, I saw several Trojans were harnessing a team of horses to our wooden one.

Then, looking directly below me, I saw both King Priam and his son Helenus, standing upon the Horse’s base. -Priam was patting Helenus on the back.

Seeing the horses, my heart had just started to rise. However, the presence of Helenus and the King of Troy caused it to drop once again, and then some.

Knowing Helenus had been in the Horse, I assumed we were to be carted off a cliff.

Worried, I whispered as much to Odysseus. However, the General just excitedly hushed me and told me to wait. -Then, in a confident but hushed voice, Odysseus decreed that we were going to be towed into the city after all.

The response to this announcement was the most pathetic cheer I have ever heard.

Thank Zeus, Odysseus was right. -Ten minutes later, we rolled through the city gates.

Almost immediately, our Horse was swarmed by a mass of Trojan citizens.

Priam and Helenus had ridden along atop the Horse’s base, and once we had come to a stop, a host of Trojan generals and dignitaries climbed up to join them.

For the next several hours, our Wooden Horse was the centerpiece of a spirited celebration. Somewhat ironically, Priam kicked off these festivities by making a victory speech just below fifty-one Achaeans.

I can’t remember the particulars of this oration. However, I do recall one part in which Priam said something like: “With Athena’s blessing, and Trojan courage, we have finally chased those depraved Achaeans from our shores!”

This announcement sent wild cheers throughout the Trojan assembly. At the same time, it stirred a refreshing bout of laughter from within our Horse. -Laughter from all of us except Neoptolemus, that is. As a matter of fact, in his first words since entering the Horse, the son of Achilles viciously cursed: “Mother of Zeus, I’ll have his eyes!” -Apparently, Neoptolemus was personally offended by Priam’s insult.

Following Priam’s speech, a large table was lifted onto the Horse’s base. Then, odd as it was, Priam and his entourage spent the evening eating, drinking, and even dancing below our feet.

I think we might have enjoyed the irony of this situation a bit more if it weren’t for the aroma of the food below. -Having not eaten a thing for three days, I’m sure the notion of an immediately attack crossed everyone’s mind.

Nonetheless, we persevered.

Several hours later, after the crowd below had dispersed and the city of Troy fell silent, we quietly descended one-by-one from the Wooden Horse.

Odysseus was first to exit. I tried to follow him, but Diomedes, Little Ajax, and Neoptolemus impatiently pushed passed me. Sthenelus tried to do so as well, but Epieus kept him in check with a swift elbow. Thus, I was the fifth Achaean out of the Horse. -Epieus was the sixth.

I can’t express how good it felt to get out of that Horse and into the cool night air.

In fact, even though we were in the midst of the most treacherous part of the operation, I think the relief of getting out of that equine barrel made us almost giddy with enthusiasm. -Thus, in an almost dreamlike state of bravado, we immediately commenced the Plan once the last man had reached the base.

Actually, I should say we began after the second-to-last man had reached the base. Unfortunately, as Menelaus had been tied and gagged, he was unintentionally forgotten above. -Fifty of us Achaeans lead the sack of Troy.

Only moments after we had assembled, Odysseus and Diomedes led about forty of us to the gate. -I was in this group.

Sthenelus, Euryalus, and the remaining Achaeans followed Neoptolemus off into the city. -Polites looked torn at his pal’s departure, but he decided to stay with us.

Although I doubt Neoptolemus’ divergence was part of the Plan, neither Odysseus nor Diomedes made any effort to prevent it.

Strangely, as our large group of Achaeans rushed towards the city gate, we passed by several Trojans, both citizens and soldiers. However, perhaps due to the sheer impossibility of our presence, not one of them did anything more than stare at us as we hurried past in the darkness.

It wasn’t until we actually reached the gate that we encountered any resistance.

We scurried to the city gate as fast as we could. Thus, our initial encounter with the guard there was abrupt and chaotic. From what I gather, we Achaeans assaulted the entrance just as a small contingent of horsemen was leaving for an early morning patrol.

In fact, as I came upon the scene, I heard the high-pitched whinny of a horse that had just been run through by an Achaean spear. Looking over, I saw Diomedes madly hack apart its rider who had been tossed to the ground.

Oddly enough, I now believe the horse crippled at the gates was as much a part of our success as the wooden one we had entered within.

I say this, because our initial skirmish with these Trojans soon evolved into struggle to either open or close the immense city doors. -I believe this horse, which expired square in the entranceway, and thus served as a fortuitous doorstop, might have given us a winning edge in this battle.

For the first few minutes, we greatly outnumbered the Trojans inside the gate. Thus, our casualties here were pretty light. In fact, as most of the Trojans present were outside the wall, we spent several minutes just working to keep the large door open while those Trojans outside were doing their best to push it closed.

Or, closer to the truth, we Achaeans did our best to avoid the sporadic arrow fire from the walls above, whilst the Trojans outside squeezed the life out of the horse that had fallen in the doorway.

As I had little to do at this point but hide under my shield and lean against the door, I was able to watch Odysseus, Eumelus and Achaemenides as they fought their way up a stairway, and into one of the parapets flanking the entrance. Soon after storming the parapet, Odysseus cast a Trojan, followed by a large flaming brazier, over the city wall. -I think the latter was the sign for our army outside.

Whether our army saw this falling brazier or not, -I couldn’t say. However, Odysseus’ signal was soon followed by a loud horn, blown from the opposite parapet. -No doubt this signal made it clear to all that something was underway.

This alarm sounded for several seconds before Teucer punctuated it with an arrow.

During the several minutes that followed, our Wooden Horse contingent killed or chased off the few remaining guards on our side of the wall, and fought to keep those Trojans outside from closing us in. Other than this, no other opposition presented itself.

When the last of the guards had been dispatched, Odysseus called for Teucer and a few others to climb atop and to shoot those Trojans pressing upon the door outside.

However, as Teucer and these fellows began to ascend the stairs, I heard Polites cry out: “Fucking Zeus!”

Turning about, I saw a large host of Trojan soldiers emerge from the darkness of the city. -With our backs against the half-closed gate, we braced for the inevitable charge.

This time, I was sure we were lost. However, just as it seemed the Trojans had resolved to attack, a small elderly man step forward, raised his hands, and ordered them to halt.

Many of the Trojan soldiers were carrying torches. Therefore, it was easy enough to see this old man. However, as few lights remained about us, our identity was less obvious.

Still pressing against the door behind us, we silently watched this old guy walk towards us.

Obviously straining, the old man inquired: “Agamemnon? Is that you? Have you returned so soon?”

To that, Odysseus called from above: “Antenor?! You old bastard! No, it’s not Agamemnon, but I, Odysseus, Son of Laertes! I am sorry Antenor, King Agamemnon is not present. As you well know, he’s long set sail for Mycenaen shores.”

At that, Antenor paused for some time. -More than a full minute, in fact.

Actually, it wasn’t until another Trojan general began to approach him that he waved off the commander off and replied: “Well, General Odysseus, it’s both a pleasure and a surprise. Yes, a surprise indeed. However, I feel quite sure that had King Priam been aware of your arrival, you needn’t have stormed our gate.”

To that Odysseus laughed: “Antenor, are you really so sure? Why just last week, I believe good King Priam would have rather seen my head on a spear than my ass in his city!”

To that, soldiers of both sides laughed aloud.

Antenor too, seemed a bit amused. In response, he remarked, “Odysseus, you are truly a Son of an Argonaut, as they say.”

No doubt, Odysseus was loving this.

Anyway, after some more inflated banter, Antenor invited Odysseus to cease the gate, and join him for breakfast. -The general next to Antenor scoffed loudly.

At that, Odysseus, who until this point was full of wit, suddenly became agitated. To Antenor’s invitation he tersely replied: “No, not breakfast, Antenor. I just ate. I mean, is it really time for breakfast?”

An uncomfortable pause followed. Not only did Antenor seem confused by Odysseus’ response, but at the same time, another large mass of Trojans closed in from our left.

Eyeing us suspiciously, the commander of this second group hurriedly joined Antenor and began to question him. Just then, another horn sounded from deep within the city.

Without waiting for an answer, Odysseus barked loudly: “Oh yes, breakfast! Breakfast would be fine Antenor! Just let me come on down…”

Following Odysseus’ assent, a piercing shriek erupted from the door behind us.

Obviously disturbed, the newly arrived general immediately ordered the Trojans to attack. -In response, Teucer and our few archers began to let arrows fly, one of which swiftly dropped this Trojan general.

As we braced for the attack, Polites, slapped my back and quipped: “Hell of a plan, huh?” Yet, just as the Trojans were about to close the distance, the door behind us gave way. -As a result, I toppled over the dead horse and out of the city.

Scrambling to my feet, I had only enough time to dive again before being hit by a torrent of Achaeans that charged through the open gate. -Looking back, I think I saw Agamemnon rush by as I rolled out of the way.

There, in the meager pre-dawn light, I could then see that behind these men, a continuous column ran down the Trojan plain, and into the shadowy mass of our entire Achaean army.

As I had leapt to the side of the portal, and as there were tens of thousands of men eager to get into the city, I waited nearly half an hour before reentering myself. -As Polites had been tossed into the same situation, the two of us waited together.

Polites and I decided to join the column after many of our Ithacans began to file through the gates. Elpenor was amongst these men. -At this point, only about one fourth of our entire Achaean host had entered the city.

Once inside, the three of us found Generals Thaos and Eumelus sitting upon horses, and directing men as they passed through the gates. -Aside from a few scattered bodies, there was no sign of Antenor, or any of the Trojans we had recently seen.

As the sun was beginning to rise, I could see the Wooden Horse towering not more than one hundred meters off.

Although the two generals didn’t know where Odysseus might be, Eumelus had talked to Misenus and Macar a short while before, and pointed us in the direction in which they had left. We gathered the few Ithacans we could, and hurried off to catch them.

As we jogged down a narrow residential street, we got our first glimpse of the pillaging.

I don’t even want to preserve what I saw with description. Suffice to say, as bad as one might imagine it could be, -it was worse. In walking no more than two city blocks, my eyes fell upon several atrocities I now wish I could forget.

Even so, what disturbed me most was the frenzied, yet jovial look I saw on so many Achaean faces as they darted from building to building.

In fact, I actually found comfort in the horrified expressions of my comrades Elpenor and Polites. To me, their expressions were evidence that a plague hadn’t possessed us all.

Although I felt compelled to restore order, I knew it was hopeless. Furthermore, I had several of our Ithacans in tow. As I was worried they too might be infected by the madness about, and I only called for my men to pick up their pace, hastily marching them until we arrived in a small city square. -Here we found Macar, overseeing a group of Ithacans as they stacked barrels next to a fountain.

Less than an hour into the battle, Macar was already busy at work, securing and organizing provisions.

Macar smiled when he saw me. However, he only pointed over his shoulder to direct me to where I now write this.

I then entered this large house, and haven’t left since.

Odysseus showed up some time in the early evening. I guess he had spent the day fighting with Diomedes and Agamemnon in the eastern part of the city. He asked if I had seen Neoptolemus. I hadn’t. -Apparently neither has anyone else since we exited the Horse last night.

Not long after Odysseus arrived, Agamemnon’s men set up his own temporary headquarters across the way. As the Argosians have done the same, I’m willing to bet this little square is soon to be the center of our Achaean command.

Anyway, not long after Odysseus arrived, some Cretans marched into the square carrying the body of an unconscious Menelaus. At that, Odysseus quickly left and followed them into Agamemnon’s headquarters. That was about two hours ago. -I haven’t seen the General since.

Basically, I’ve been holed up in this house, and doing my best to sort things out as far as our army is concerned. Misenus, Elpenor, Epieus, and Macar are here. -I sent Polites and Achaemenides out to get some food a few hours ago.

Aside from my rooftop view and some rumors that have been filtering in, I don’t have a lot of information regarding what’s going on in the rest of the city. -Still, I think I prefer it this way. If what I saw this morning is indicative of our operation as a whole, I’d just rather not know.

Besides, to hear Odysseus tell it,

Mother of Zeus. Misenus just came in. Apparently, Neoptolemus is downstairs, looking for Odysseus. -Misenus swears he is holding the head of Priam.

ϙ′

This may well be my last entry.

We’ve been stuck in the Wooden Horse for two days.

I am writing this by the few slivers of light that filter inside. -It must be midday now.

The air inside here is thick and stale, and the heat is beyond unbearable. What's more, we haven't any water.

Early this morning, General Menelaus lost it and started to cry for help. Thankfully, Neoptolemus swiftly knocked him out. -I believe Agamemnon’s brother is tied-up and gagged at the moment.

As for the rest of us, I don’t think we can last much longer.

Our situation has become so desperate, it’s almost funny. -I don’t think anyone even considered the Trojans might just leave the Wooden Horse where it stood.

We can hear the Trojans shout from time to time, and it seems there are always a number of soldiers nearby. -Some have even walked upon the base beneath us.

At one point yesterday, I actually saw Helenus down below.

In fact, I watched Helenus stare, almost directly at my peep-hole, for what felt like an eternity.

Justifiably, I thought we were lost for sure. However, after scrutinizing the Horse’s belly so intently, the prophet son of Priam just giggled and dashed away. -I think the crazy bastard knows we’re in here.

Anyway, if we leave now, we are likely to be overwhelmed. However, if we stay much longer, we will certainly die of thirst.

Diomedes and Little Ajax have been prodding Odysseus to order the exit tonight, whether we are inside the city or not. Odysseus hasn’t consented yet, but I don’t think he has much choice.

I have to wonder what the rest of our army has been doing.

Some Trojans are shouting down below us again.

What a stupid way to die.

πθ′

The Horse is stuck.

It’s a complete debacle. We should be sitting at the gates of Troy right now. -Instead, it’s past midnight, and I am writing this from the middle of the Trojan plain.

Anyway, this morning, after a full night of preparations, the sun rose to find our camp almost completely disassembled.

I spent the rest of last night at the beach.

Our Ithacans were loading our ships through the night, along with the new ship Odysseus had recently liberated from the Milesians.

Honestly, I don’t know why we are taking the Milesian ship, as it’s so terribly slow. -It does hold a lot of cargo, but it will be a real drag if our fleet has to sail back home at its pace.

That is, if we are going to be sailing home any time soon.

I still haven’t gotten a straight answer as to whether or not we are planning to reset camp after the sack of Troy. -Assuming there is a ‘Sack of Troy’

I’d like to think that we will be sailing home immediately afterwards. However, I doubt that’s going to be the case. -No doubt this is going to be a complicated ordeal.

I tried to press Odysseus about this issue this evening, just before we crawled inside the Horse. Unfortunately, the General just smiled and told me not to worry about it. -I don’t think a plan has been made.

Even so, considering our situation, I guess it’s kind of optimistic for me to be contemplating the fall of Troy.

As I write this, the Wooden Horse sits in the middle of the plain, listing over heavily to one side. It’s bogged down in some sort of sinkhole. -To be honest, I am not sure whether or not we are going to be able to free it, or if the thing is just going to topple over completely.

Elpenor and Epieus are in quite a state.

Anyway, the current situation aside, as the sun rose this morning, Agamemnon gave an short speech to our Achaean army. Odysseus was asked to be present. -Therefore, I was expected to listen to it as well.

At that point, the entire army was spread out over a couple of miles of shoreline. Thus, Agamemnon was talking to a pretty limited crowd. -Basically, the Commander-in-Chief’s audience was composed of us Ithacans and some of the Minyans.

It wasn’t a very memorable speech. At any rate, as our petty officers kept interrupting me, I didn’t get to hear much of it anyway.

Nestor was there. He read some sort of poem or something.

Shortly afterwards, I headed up to the Wooden Horse site.

When I arrived, Elpenor and Epieus were directing the build crew. Their men were struggling to secure a large team of real horses to the wooden one. -It was a pretty hectic scene.

Adding to the chaos, a number of the soldiers that were to be in the Horse had shown up early, including Polites, Euryalus and Sthenelus.

I am not sure exactly how it started, but for some reason, Elpenor and Euryalus got into a heated argument. Actually, I am not sure if it was much of an argument. More likely, Euryalus had pissed off Elpenor by making a joke at his expense.

Anyway, one thing lead to another and a fight between Epieus and Sthenelus broke out on their behalves.

Sthenelus is much larger than Euryalus. Thus, Epieus didn’t put him down quite as quickly as he had Euryalus. However, Epieus did manage to bloody Sthenelus' nose before I was able to get between them.

After I broke it up, I immediately wished I hadn’t. -Once he was saved, a reinvigorated Sthenelus loudly called Epieus a “mouth-breathing, titless harpy”.

At that, I almost let Epieus go again.

Instead, I asked Polites to take Sthenelus off the site until it was boarding time.

After that episode, the preparations resumed. -I did what I could to help out until dinner.

My dinner consisted of eating some bread while I hurried down to the beach. -Baius had asked that I speak to him before I entered the Horse.

Halfway to the beach, I ran into Aegle.

As I was busy thinking about ‘The Plan’, and in the midst of stuffing my face, I didn’t see Aegle until I almost walked into her.

As I looked up, she greeted me with a meager smile.

My mouth was completely full of bread.

After chewing for what seemed like an eternity, I greeted Aegle in the most unaffected voice I could muster.

“Eurylochus,” she said. “I’m sorr…” -but I cut her off.

I replied sharply: “No Aegle. I don’t want to hear that. -It’s not that I don’t believe it, it’s just I don’t need to hear it.”

I was pretty proud of that impromptu declaration, actually.

To this, Aegle nodded sullenly.

After a quiet moment, she smiled a bit, flashed her eyelids and asked: “Can I see you after the invasion?”

To that, I gave her a cool smile and a nod of consent. -I then hurried off.

I’m not sure if I want to see Aegle after ‘the invasion’. -Still, she seemed genuine.

At any rate, it was kind of nice to feel like I was in control of my feelings for once.

As for Baius, he just wanted to know the same thing I did. Baius asked whether or not there was a plan for after ‘the invasion’. -I told him I didn’t have a clue.

To that, Baius just smiled blankly. -It was the kind of smile I imagine a captain might give to a boat of women and children as they shoved off his sinking ship.

With that, our meeting was over.

On my way back to the Horse, I ran into Odysseus, Agamemnon, Diomedes, Menelaus and Neoptolemus. -The Commander-in-Chief was coming to see his brother and his comrades off.

From that moment on, things were artificially militant and professional.

Three hours later, I was inside a Wooden Horse with fifty-two Achaean soldiers.

I was second to last to board. That put me next to Odysseus, Diomedes, Neoptolemus, Polites, Little Ajax, Sthenelus, Eumelus, Misenus, and Epeius. -It was standing room only.

Epeius was the last to enter.

After about another hour, the Horse started to move.

At that moment, two things came to me as a surprise. First, I couldn’t believe just how rough the ride was. In fact, once we began to move, every one of us instantly fell down. Second, I was really surprised by how little we could hear of what was going on outside.

In fact, the only thing we could only hear was when people next to the Horse would occasionally shout. Beyond that, we didn’t have a clue as to what was going on.

As for the inside of the Horse, it was pretty quiet. -Maybe that’s because everyone was preoccupied with the same thoughts I was.

Just after we had begun to move, and after we had picked ourselves up again, Odysseus valiantly shouted: “Achaeans, we ride with Ares tonight!” -Unfortunately, only an uncomfortable silence followed.

After about forty minutes of bouncing around in that silence, the Horse abruptly stopped.

Picking ourselves up again, we heard some muffled shouting from below.

Several quiet minutes passed. I think I heard Menelaus whimper. -We then all fell down as te Horse began to move once again.

Less than a minute later, we jolted to a stop.

Almost immediately, the Horse began to lean over.

As I couldn’t see a thing, I first thought I had simply lost my balance. However, before I could even try to steady myself, a wave of Achaeans crashed upon me, pushing me towards the Horse’s dipping head.

That’s when things got pretty chaotic.

Fortunately for me, I had been somewhat lifted up as we fell. As a result, I found myself lying upon the shoulders and heads of a number of men.

First, there was a brief moment of confused silence. -The men then began shouting.

Some were being crushed, some were just angry, and some men were just freaking out. -I definitely heard Menelaus whimper at that point.

I can’t say I blame the men, or even Menelaus. -As our standing room was about halved when the Horse leaned over, things were very cramped.

I am not typically claustrophobic. However, even sitting atop the pile of men, I couldn't help feeling a bit desperate.

Nonetheless, despite the general state of chaos, I soon discerned that Sthenelus and Epieus had found each other.

At least that’s my best guess.

Even over the shouting, I could hear Sthenelus’ piercing voice shout: “Kiss my ass, titless harpy!”

I then heard Sthenelus cry out as he was brutally pummeled in the darkness. -I never heard a word from Epieus, but I knew it was him.

After about five more minutes, there were some more screams as the crowd suddenly gave way.

Apparently, the trap door had been opened.

The screams were from several men that fell to the ground below. The Cretan general Idomeneus was one of these guys. -I guess he broke his ankle.

Anyway, it wasn’t long before we were all standing on the Trojan plain.

That’s were we are now.

Agamemnon has since arrived with a host of Mycenaens and Spartans. -The Spartans have set up a perimeter somewhat distant from us. Meanwhile, the Myceneans are working on getting the Horse out of that sinkhole.

Odysseus is off running about with Agamemnon. He only asked I stay with the Horse troupe and keep them together. -Personally, I think he’s worried about desertion.

As soon as we climbed out, I instructed Achaemenides to fetch Elpenor.

The two of them are now drilling some small holes in the bottom of the Horse.

Maybe I should let Elpenor replace Idomeneus.

I might need to find a replacement for Sthenelus too. -His face is a bloody mess.

Epieus, who hasn’t said a thing about it, is presently arguing with a Mycenean captain about how to pull the Horse out.

At this point, I’m not really sure I want them to succeed.

Whatever the case, we have to either to give up, or get back inside the Horse before the sun comes up.

πη′

It begins.

Early this morning, I awoke to the sound of Epieus’ mouth-breathing.

Half asleep, I was pulled into consciousness by that nasal, raspy echo.

When I opened my eyes, Epeius and Elpenor were standing above me. The two were in the midst of a whispering debate about whether I should be disturbed.

Feeling guilty that I wasn’t already awake, I sat up quickly, intentionally startling them.

It was two hours before dawn, but I could already hear that many in the camp were stirring outside.

I guess Elpenor and Epeius had been up all night.

After a quick breakfast, I got to work.

I don’t feel like revisiting everything I did today. Suffice to say, the day was completely nuts from beginning to end.

All day long, everywhere about camp, soldiers, officers, aides, and generals were running about frantically. Tents were coming down, livestock was being herded, supplies were being sorted, and fights were breaking out.

I spent the majority of my day doing damage control.

Things might have been otherwise if Odysseus had decided to visit before nightfall.

The lack of the General’s presence left the preparation of the Wooden Horse mission, as well as coordination of the Ithacan withdrawal wholly up to me. -Thank Zeus for Misenus, Macar and Baius.

I didn’t even bother to go down to the beach. First thing this morning, I put Macar and Baius in charge of that mess. -From what I gather, they made the best they could of a bad situation.

The last I heard, Macar and Baius expected to have our boats more or less ready to go by tomorrow afternoon. -That’s not exactly according to schedule. However, compared to some of the other armies, it’s a genuine miracle.

Just an hour ago, Polites told me the Pheraens had managed to catch two of their ships on the same reef. -Perhaps that’s why Eumelus sent a lieutenant by to ask me if I had room for any more soldiers in the Horse.

Anyway, I put Misenus and Polites in charge of breaking down our camp. -Misenus did a hell of a job.

As for myself, I spent most of my day at the Wooden Horse site.

The thing looks magnificent.

Unfortunately, this morning as I walked up to the site with Epieus and Elpenor, we found a wild-eyed Calchas dancing about and spitting some kind of gooey white stuff all over it.

Elpenor and Epieus were mortified. -I guess they had spent all night polishing the Horse. However, as Calchas is Agamemnon’s personal oracle, there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Luckily, after about thirty minutes of these spitting convulsions, Calchas returned to the Commander-in-Chief’s camp. That is, after he politely offered the three of us ‘a blessing’. -We declined.

The second surprise came as we opened up the Horse.

Climbing the rope ladder that hangs from its bottom, I discovered Neoptolemus and Menelaus, quietly meditating inside. Neoptolemus didn’t even acknowledge me. However, Menelaus looked pretty freaked out and blurted: “Oh, do you want us to leave? Oh, ok.”

With that, Menelaus promptly scrambled past me and down the rope ladder.

Neoptolemus did not move.

I know Neoptolemus was aware of my presence, and I wasn’t really in the mood for his antics. Thus, I just climbed down and left him there.

I spent the better half of the day fielding questions from those who were supposed to be in the Horse, and requests from those who wanted to be in the Horse. -I also dealt with a number of issues that made their way up from our Ithacan camp.

In addition, I have to mention that I did see Aegle.

Aegle didn’t see me, but I watched her as she walked pass the build site. She was likely coming from Agamemnon’s camp, and quite possibly headed towards ours. Aegle was too far away for me to make out her expression, but it was the first time I had seen her since Odysseus’ tent.

Maybe she wanted to talk to me.

Anyway, speaking of the General, I did see him just before nightfall.

Sometime after the dinner I didn’t eat, I gave Achaemenides the Wooden Horse roster, and told him to gather as many people as he could that were on it.

About twenty of the fifty-two that are on the list showed up. I told Achaemenides not to get Misenus or Polites, but Polites showed up anyway, along with Euryalus and Sthenelus.

Twelve Achaeans that aren’t on the list showed up as well, including General Nestor.

To this crowd, I began explaining the general workings of the Horse, and how the Plan was to be carried out. About ten minutes into this meeting, Odysseus walked up with Achaemenides.

After acknowledging Odysseus, and grandly reemphasizing his role in the creation of the Wooden Horse Plan, I suggested we run some drills to practice exiting the Horse quickly and quietly.

Although I really wanted to send Nestor and the other tag-alongs off, I needed their numbers for an accurate test. Thus, I decide to include these uninvited volunteers.

However, as Neoptolemus was still ‘meditating’ in the Horse, and as Nestor should have known he wasn’t on the roster, I intentionally sent Nestor into the Horse first. -The effect was better than I could have hoped for.

As it had become fairly dark by that point, there was very little light to see by, especially inside the Horse. Thus, when Nestor climbed in, he couldn’t have seen that Neoptolemus was in there. To my delight, soon after he pulled himself in, I heard his crotchety voice yelling “Mother of Zeus! A spy! -There’s a spy in the Horse!”

Moments later, Neoptolemus rolled out of the hatch, and fell to the cart below. Nestor had beaten him out with his fists. Neoptolemus wasn’t hurt, but there’s no doubt his ego was in critical condition. -Best of all, when Nestor stuck his head out and saw he had just pummeled the son of Achilles, he shouted: “Neoptolemus, you son of a harpy! Your father would have never pulled such a stunt!”

Neoptolemus walked off, completely dejected. -I know he tried to make eye contact with me as he did, but I just wouldn’t comply.

Sthenelus, Polites and Euryalus all snickered as quietly as they could.

Anyway, the Horse evacuation drills went well enough. Fortunately, Nestor had a very difficult time climbing down the rope ladder. As a result, he loudly announced that he wouldn’t be taking part in the Wooden Horse Plan tomorrow. -That saved me the trouble of telling him he wasn’t invited.

After a couple of hours of practice, I walked with Odysseus and Achaemenides back to our camp.

Misenus had things more or less under control, and I ordered Achaemenides to help him out. Predictably, Odysseus wanted to dictate a letter to Penelope. This is it:

Dearest Penelope,

Penelope my sweet flower. You General is undertaking a most glorious plan on the morrow. He has personally devised a most cunning strategy that we are to execute, on the morrow. This makes me happy.

If, by the Will of Zeus we succeed, and I think that we should, then not only will we Achaeans achieve great glory, but this war will have ended by my will alone. Yes, your General is set to write history on the morrow!

However, all these accomplishments of your General are made smaller when he thinks of the time he has been away from his dear wife, Penelope. And his son Telemachus as well. And his dogs. So, my dear Penelope, there is happiness in my heart as I see an end to this war draw near me.

I shall soon leave the shores of Troy, Penelope! -A victor!

Kiss my son, Telemachus.

Your General,

Odysseus

Incredible stuff.

Soon after dictating that masterpiece, Odysseus went off to speak with Agamemnon. He did at least praise my handling of the Wooden Horse Plan and the Ithacan withdrawal.

Anyway, the current Plan is that we will all load into the Horse shortly after dinner tomorrow. We are then to be wheeled to the gates of Troy tomorrow night.

Misenus just came in. -I think I just spent what little time I had to sleep writing this.

I am needed down at the beach.

πζ′

We are attacking Troy the day after tomorrow.

Well, I am not sure I can call it ‘attacking’.

More accurately, the day after tomorrow, a bunch of us Achaeans are piling into the Wooden Horse. The Horse is then going to be wheeled to gates of Troy and left, ostensibly as a gift. Soon after, the rest of our army is going to board their ships and sail off, apparently abandoning this ten-year siege. Predictably, cheered by their victory, and unable to resist an enormous timber equine, the Trojans will then take it upon themselves to wheel the Wooden Horse into the gates of their city. That being accomplished, those of us in the Horse will wait patiently until the cover of night. Then, at the darkest hour, whilst our entire army secretly retakes the beachhead, we Achaeans concealed inside the Wooden Horse will steal out, open the gates, receive our waiting army, and sack the sleeping city of Troy.

That’s The Plan anyhow.

And yes, I said ‘we’. -I’ve made the short list.

So has Misenus, Polites, Achaemenides, Epieus, Thaos, Diomedes, Little Ajax, Menelaus (seriously), Teucer, Neoptolemus, and of course, Odysseus.

That’s all of the names I can recall at the moment. -I have the full roster in my lockbox. All told, there are a few dozen of us to be hidden inside.

I just hope the Trojans don’t decide to light the Horse on fire.

Anyway, this morning began with a meeting at Agammenon’s tent about The Plan.

Worried I might run into Aegle, I didn’t get much sleep.

Elpenor and Epieus were at my tent before the sun rose. -Both were drastically overdressed.

As we headed over to the Commander-in-Chief’s, we ate some bread and cheese they had brought with them.

Luckily, Aegle was no where to be found.

As for the meeting, it went as to be expected: Odysseus would explain some aspect of the Wooden Horse Plan, the generals would fight about it for some time, and then Agamemnon would settle the issue by reiterating what Odysseus had said.

After repeating this process about a dozen times, and after Nestor made a long speech about nothing in particular, the meeting was adjourned.

I was given a roster and a timeline.

Although I didn’t get to speak to Odysseus during the meeting, we had a brief exchange outside before I left. Judging by his candor, I don’t think Aegle told Odysseus what she, or he, for that matter, had done.

Not that it matters anyway.

I now realize that Aegle wasn’t attracted to me. -She was attracted to my command of the Ithacan army.

Had Odysseus and his crew been lost at sea, Aegle would still be by my side.

No, I shouldn’t be angry at Odysseus. In fact, I should be grateful.

The irony is that I would have stayed with Aegle. To Odysseus, she is nothing but a pleasant distraction. As much as the General enjoys the company of other women, he is resolute in his devotion for Penelope. -He suffers from that hypocrisy most men cannot see.

If Aegle was looking to attach herself to a man of power, she made a mistake. Men at the very top have only one love, and that’s their love of themselves. -Even Odysseus’ obstinate dedication to Penelope is some bizarre form of self-adulation.

No doubt Aegle is already becoming aware of her error. -At least I’d like to think so.

Anyway, I tried to spend the rest of the day thinking about the Horse.

I asked Macar, Polites and Misenus to help me out, and Diomedes sent Euryalus over to lend a hand as well.

I forgot that Euryalus is to be inside the Horse too. -As he is one of Diomedes’ favorites, he is part of a small Argosian contingent.

Unfortunately, Euryalus and Polites were pretty keyed up about being selected. As they stopped every few minutes to high-five or toast themselves with their ever-present wineskins, having Euryalus about the Horse site did more harm than good.

Not to mention that Elpenor wasn’t too thrilled that Epieus was going while he was not.

Polites and Euryalus reveling about the site did little to improve Elpenor’s mood.

Although I don’t want to be part of The Plan myself, I kind of feel sorry for Elpenor. He’s put so much effort into the Horse. The sad truth is: Odysseus just doesn’t like him.

After a while, I thought it best to send Polites and Euryalus off to help Macar with supplies.

Throughout the day, I did my best to direct all concerns about the Horse to Elpenor. As a result, I think his ego was somewhat restored by dinnertime. -He and Epieus cooked a delicious roast of lamb.

On the way back to my tent tonight, I passed Neoptolemus and Menelaus, kneeling upon a small knoll.

An image of his father, Neoptolemus was poised upon the hill in an exaggerated state of meditation.

Menelaus, who was wearing his enormously winged helm, was apparently meditating as well.

However, in just the few moments of my passing, I saw Menelaus timidly look to the frozen figure of Neoptolemus twice.

Realizing Menelaus could have been trapped there for hours, I hurried out of range before allowing myself to laugh out loud.

As I got back, I was more than happy to relate the scene to Polites, Euryalus and Sthenelus who were drinking near my tent. -Excited, they stumbled off to see the spectacle for themselves.

Oh shit, I just realized Sthenelus is probably going to be in the Horse too.

I just checked. -He is.

Odysseus, Diomedes, Sthenelus, Euryalus and Polites are all going. -Apollo’s ass, I am glad Elpenor is not going to be in that Horse.

πϛ′

We are going to do it.

We are going to present Troy with a wooden horse, full of Achaean soldiers.

And yet, I don’t care.

Odysseus, Agamemnon and Neoptolemus came around just after lunch. They asked me whether the horse was ready to go. -I said that it was.

Nodding thoughtfully, Agamemnon said: “Good, good, Captain Eurylochus. We will have a meeting in my tent tomorrow morning. We shall make the final arrangements then.”

Odysseus sternly added, “See to it those two horse fellows are there.”

Agamemnon nodded thoughtfully once again. Neoptolemus just stared at me without expression.

Looking satisfied, the three sauntered off. Odysseus and Agamemnon chuckled about something as they walked away.

Immediately after the generals had left, I ran to the build site. There I found Elpenor and Epieus engaged in a theatrical rehearsal of some sort.

Apparently, Epieus was the director.

Elpenor was in the midst of a dramatic monologue. The horse build crew flanked him, singing the last word of each statement he made.

As I felt pressed for time, I rudely interrupted the performance, asking Elpenor directly: “Lieutenant Elpenor, is the horse ready to go?”

Elpenor seemed to snap out of a state: “Ready to go? The horse? Oh yes. Yes it is.”

A few members of the build crew sang: “Yes it is…

I hastily replied: “Elpenor, Epieus, be at my tent at sunrise tomorrow. -See that the horse is readied by then.”

Elpenor and Elpenor look dumbfounded at first. However, as a look of comprehension grew upon their faces, I turned and left.

Next I went to out Achaean camp. First, I found Misenus. I told him of the meeting, and asked that at least thirty of our own men were readied by tomorrow.

I then stopped by Macar’s tent and told him to see to it that Misenus, Elpenor and Epieus had everything they required. Macar smiled and gave me a salute.

Finally, I went to my tent, and washed quickly.

Knowing the plan could be enacted as early as tomorrow afternoon, I knew I had to see Aegle.

Putting on my best clothes, I set out to Agamemnon’s camp with a new resolve.

Finding some of the Commander-in-Chief’s maids gathered outside, I asked them where Aegle might be. Looking confused, they told me they hadn’t seen her.

However, my instincts told me they knew otherwise.

Confessing to them that the matter was urgent, one of the maids finally replied that Aegle had mentioned she might take a walk along the beach.

Although I wasn’t completely convinced, I acquiesced, only requesting they relate my inquiry to her. -They pledged emphatically that they would.

I casually walked out of sight of the maids before I racing down to the beach. -She wasn’t there.

Finally, feeling a bit pathetic, I decided to report to Odysseus.

As I approached the General’s tent, I could here some laughing coming from within. The guard announced my presence, and Odysseus called me in.

That’s when I heard a familiar voice shout: “No!”

Although I hadn’t fully digested the situation, I felt the blood rush from my face as I stepped inside.

I found a smiling Odysseus rising to greet me, wearing nothing but a loincloth.

Aegle was in his bed.

My mind went blank.

Muffled by a buzzing noise that immediately filled my ears, I could vaguely hear the General inquiring about the horse. He seemed to be in good spirits, and I think he made a joke about something.

For moments, I could only nod.

Finally, as a look of concern came over Odysseus’ face, the buzzing washed out of my ears and I could hear everything again, this time much clearer than before.

I then smartly reported to Odysseus that the horse was readied, and that I would be at his tent with Elpenor and Epieus, shortly after sunrise.

Odysseus smiled and replied: “Great, Eurylochus. You’ve done a terrific job. -I’ll see you in the morning then.”

With that, he laughed and charged towards his bed.

I turned and walked out.

I didn’t even look at Aegle past the first moment I entered.

In fact, now it seems like a dream to me. -As if I might not have actually seen her at all.

But, I know that's not true.

I can’t say that I am angry at Odysseus. -It’s obvious he hasn’t a clue.

Even if he did, I am still not sure I could be angry with him.

I am not sure I’m capable of feeling anything right now.

πε′

I woke up today to find Neoptolemus staring at me.

I am not sure what awoke me. Yet, as I opened my eyes, I found the son of Achilles gazing coldly at me, his narrow eyes peering out of a brilliantly plumed helmet.

I almost dashed out of bed to grab my sword. However, as I rolled over in panic, I saw that Odysseus was there too. -The General was looking very tired.

I then realized it wasn’t quite morning.

“Eurylochush…” the General slurred: “We’ve gotsh a meeting. Tomorrow. -We’ve gotsh a meeting to have, to-morrow.”

I stood.

As I did, Neoptolemus’ eyes followed me. I was standing just about two feet from him, but he didn’t back up. He just continued to stare. I couldn’t tell if he was drunk, angry, or just curious.

The son of Achilles stared at me like a child does at deformity.

Anyway, doing my best to ignore Neoptolemus’, I answered Odysseus: “Yes General, we will meet tomorrow. Would you like me to come to your quarters?”

At that the General avidly interrupted: “No, Eurylochush! I am going to bed now. Apollo’s Ash, it’s late. Don’t come to my quarters. -I will see you tomorrow.”

Not attempting to explain myself, I just nodded.

With that, Odysseus called after Neoptolemus and walked out.

However, Neoptolemus didn’t immediately follow. For nearly half a minute, he just continued to stand there, blankly staring at me. -I’m still not sure he wasn’t sizing me up.

Feeling a bit perturbed, I refused to move.

Then suddenly, as if he had just come to, Neoptolemus wheeled around and walked out the door.

No doubt he’s his father’s son.

After a moment, I looked out to see Odysseus and Neoptolemus ambling away. The sun wasn’t up, but it was already getting lighter to the east. -I couldn’t get back to sleep.

After about an hour of lying awake, I got up and went to find Misenus.

Misenus always gets up early, and the two of us shared some tea as the camp came to life.

I asked Misenus about Aegle again. He apologized, but said that he had made every effort to find her, save walking into Agamemnon’s quarters. I nodded, somewhat embarrassed for appearing so interested.

Anyway, after breakfast, Misenus and I went to visit Macar.

When we got there, Macar was arguing with an Argosian officer about Diomedes’ share of the spoils. Although the division of the spoils had been agreed upon yesterday, this officer had come back today to request some more. I wasn’t really in the mood, and so I cursed out the Argosian and sent him on his way.

After he left, Macar started to chuckle. -I guess the officer had personally sent Macar some sheepskins yesterday as a gift, and Macar had accepted them for just that.

Unintentionally, I had just relieved Macar of any obligations of reciprocity.

As Macar had spent most the night finishing the task of inventory, I just spent the afternoon setting aside a selection of spoils to be given to Agamemnon on Odysseus’ behalf.

I went to the General’s quarters after lunch.

Odysseus didn’t look much better than he did last night, and our meeting wasn’t very fruitful. In fact, I had to remind the General that we had scheduled one.

Odysseus asked a few questions about the horse, and about our Ithacans, but he didn’t seem honesty interested in any of my answers.

I told Odysseus I had set aside some spoils for the Commander-in-Chief, and he did seem sincerely appreciative for that. Upon hearing it, he asked that I delivered them right away. -Our meeting ended with that.

As I walked back to fetch Agamemnon’s spoils, I ran into Achaemenides. I asked him to carry Agamemnon’s treasure for me.

Although I had brought Achaemenides as a display of rank, as we approached Agamemnon’s hut, I began to regret it. -Aegle was talking to some of the Commander-in-Chief’s housemaids, just outside his tent.

Aegle smiled. As did I. -Her companions giggled.

Although I would have looked a bit silly walking up alone with Agamamnon’s booty, I would have liked the chance to speak with Aegle. With Achaemenides present, that was impossible. I tried to communicate as much, but it was to no avail. Agamemnon’s guards quickly stepped forward to attention, which required me to stay in military character.

Agamemnon was grateful for the offering, and he related his emphatic thanks to General Odysseus. I thought it kind of strange, but the Commander-in-Chief called me ‘Captain Eurylochus’ about five times. Each time, I swear he stressed the ‘Captain’ part.

Maybe it was just me, but it kind of pissed me off.

Seeing Aegle was gone by the time I was excused, didn’t do much for my mood either.

I spent the rest of the day debating whether or not I should go back to see her.

Now it’s too late.

I should have just gone.

Mother of Zeus. I can assemble a phalanx and lead an attack within fifteen minutes. How is it a woman can have me hiding in my tent, sweating over the act of just visiting her?

πδ′

Well, the big guy is back.

Just after lunch today, a large commotion broke out along the beach. -General Odysseus and his party had returned.

I was walking down to the beach when Polites broke out from the crowd and ran up to me. He was wearing an enormous bronze helmet with a bright red plume.

“We just kicked Milesian ass!” Polites shouted, brandishing a fancy broadsword.

Apparently, just this morning, on their way back from retrieving Neoptolemus, Odysseus’ crew happened upon a Milesian supply ship.

Odysseus decided to raid the Milesians, and according to Polites, the naval battle that followed was down-right hilarious.

Polites said the Milesian vessel was loaded, and although they were “rowing and like devils and screaming like girls”, Odysseus’ craft eased up next to them as if they were dead in the water.

Hardly containing himself, Polites then related that as Neoptolemus, Odysseus and Diomedes jumped into one side of the Milesian boat, her entire crew, save the captain and one old salt, jumped off the other.

I guess Neoptolemus killed the captain, but they spared the salt.

Polites said the vessel was loaded with arms and “enough wine to drown an army”. -That’s when his demeanor began to make a little more sense.

Not long after Polites had related this story, the crowd below us divided. Odysseus, Diomedes, and two other heavily armored men appeared, followed by the ship’s crew.

One of these two strangers was a youth, not more than 20 years old. Even in armor, his strength was obvious. In one hand, this man carried a sword. In the other, a human head. -I immediately knew this must be the son of Achilles.

The other armored figure was at least 70 years old. At first I thought it was Nestor, but I knew he had stayed back with us. Furthermore, this man's armor was ill-fitting, and there was hardly an inch of skin that didn’t have some sort of plate strapped to it.

Once the young man shoved this old soldier to the dirt, I knew his identity as well. -It was the old salt they had ‘spared’.

The old man was immediately pulled up, and forced to march along.

It wasn’t long before Odysseus had come upon us. As conspicuously as I could, I gave him my most formal salute and belted: “Welcome home General Odysseus. You have been missed.” I then bowed to Diomedes and Neoptolemus in turn.

Odysseus was pleased. He tossed me a flask of wine and beamed: “It’s good to be back, Captain Eurylochus. It’s good to be back.”

At that, Odysseus and his contingent continued up towards the encampment, followed by his crew and the host of onlookers.

As they passed, I saw that Agamemnon and his entourage were approaching on horseback. -I quickly headed for the beach before I might be called back.

When I got to the shore, I found Baius struggling to secure the Milesian vessel.

To Polites obvious dismay, I ordered him to retrieve Macar and a group of our Ithacans to begin unloading the cargo. -About twenty minutes later, Macar and the men showed up, but Polites was nowhere to be seen.

I spent most of the day securing and recording the spoils.

Later in the evening, I had Misenus tell Aegle that I wouldn’t be able to keep our plans.

He said that he tried, but there was a big party going on about Agamemnon’s camp, and in the chaos, he wasn’t able to find her.

Oh well, I am sure she understands that I’d be busy.

Elpenor and Epieus stopped by late in the evening. -They brought me dinner.

I don’t know what motivated them to do it, but I was pretty touched.

In gratitude, I gave Epieus a Milesian belt and Elpenor two bottles of wine. -Those items failed to make the registry.

πγ′

I guess I was just in a funk yesterday.

Misenus came over sometime after breakfast and we chatted for a while. After listening to me relate the other night’s debacle, and complain about military matters in general, Misenus said a few things that made me feel a bit better.

Misenus agreed with me that war makes little sense, and that the execution of war makes even less.

However, Misenus said that war is inevitable, and that it was just a fact of human nature.

I had to agree.

Misenus then asked me whether I thought there was a way to wage war that would make any sense.

I saw his point.

Anyway, Aegle and I had dinner tonight. I asked her to stay, but she said that she needed to be at Agamemnon’s for some kind of breakfast party.

I think she had a good time, but I felt a bit let down.

Still, Aegle apologized several times, and I really believe that she would have stayed. -She told me to stop by her camp tomorrow after dinner.

πβ′

A quieter day.

General Idomeneus stopped by after lunch to relate how the meeting with Agamemnon went last night. -He didn’t think it went too well.

For some reason, it seems Agamemnon wasn’t very upset about last night’s debacle. In fact, to hear Idomeneus tell it, it sounds like the Commander-in-Chief was defending Little Ajax.

Idomeneus, who was pretty pissed about losing his men, insisted that Little Ajax at least pay a ransom for Sinon’s release. However, Agamemnon said it wasn’t necessary, and told them that he would take care of it.

Idomeneus then said he was on his way back over to the Commander-in-Chief’s tent. He asked if I might go to support him. -I respectfully declined.

At that, Idomeneus nodded coolly and walked off.

Whatever.

All I know, is that is the last time I volunteer myself for anything.

This goddamned army has no direction whatsoever. Sometimes we attack, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes our enemies are our brothers, sometimes our brothers are our enemies. -There’s no sense to it at all.

The truth of the matter is that, in war, it’s nothing to lose fifty men just to preserve one general’s fragile ego.

Hell, this entire war is for one man’s ego.

Anyway, I’ve had enough. I can’t wait for Odysseus to come back. -Being a leader means being a hypocrite, and I just can’t take it anymore.

I know it’s pathetic, but I just couldn’t face our men today.

Just because I was insecure about leading this army, and depressed about not seeing Aegle, I led six of our Ithacans to the slaughter last night. -I hid in my tent the entire day.

Later in the evening Aegle stopped by.

I joined her for a walk along the beach, but I don’t think I made for very good company. -I spent most of the time just complaining about the way things work, and what is wrong with this war.

Now I feel a bit guilty.

Aegle spent a couple of years trying to get to the siege, and I spent all night complaining about it.

I think I confused her a bit. She was very supportive, but I think she had the impression I was worried that I wasn’t doing a very good job. She kept saying things like “It’s hard to be a leader”, and “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it”. -I think she might have missed my point.

Aegle just couldn’t understand why I would want Odysseus to come back. I guess she sees this as a real opportunity for me. -Maybe she is just more idealistic than I am.

Anyway, I hope I wasn’t too much of a drag.

We agreed to have dinner tomorrow. -I’ll try to be a better date then.

πα′

I survived.

That’s the only positive thing I can say about tonight’s siege.

My day started early, as a nervous and sweaty Achaemenides was at my tent before the sun had even risen. Feeling a bit agitated, I grilled Achaemenides pretty harshly about his recent leave of absence.

Achaemenides gave me some kind of discombobulated explanation for his disappearance. -I am still not sure if it made any sense.

From what I gather, one of Achaemenides’ cousins is old friends with some guy in the Minyan army, and this guy’s wife recently died, and Achaemenides was trying to help him and their child because his cousin who was going to help the guy was recently pressed into some kind of Cretan merchant company because he had slept with the heiress of someone or other.

I don’t know. His story was too strange to be total bullshit. However, I know that Dolon’s gruesome interrogation had something to do with Achaemenides real motivation for leaving.

It’s strange to me that Dolon’s torture affected Achaemenides so deeply. -Especially considering that he has been such a badass on the battlefield.

Anyway, because Achaemenides needed to be punished, and because he is such a badass on the battlefield, I ordered him to accompany me on the raid tonight. -That is, after reminding him that the customary punishment for desertion is death.

Achaemenides bowed meekly and thanked me for my leniency.

It’s a good thing I didn’t settle upon the customary punishment for desertion. -Achaemenides saved my life tonight.

In addition to Achaemenides, I brought six other Ithacans with me. -These men are now dead.

Initially, I had planned on bringing Misenus with me too. However, I came to realize that if I were killed, Misenus would be next in line to command the Ithacan army. Following Misenus, it would be Elpenor.

For that reason, I decided to leave Misenus behind.

Aside from preparing my men, the day was uneventful.

Just after sundown, I brought my small contingent to the Locrian encampment.

Little Ajax was in the midst of a tirade as we walked up. I guess one of the General’s aides had fit his horse with the wrong saddle. As we approached, Little Ajax was shouting: “It’s too late now, you Stymphalian shit!”

Upon arrival, I became acutely aware that I was the only general who was not mounted.

Polypoetes, Idomeneus, Sinon and Eumelus were all present, and on horseback. As a result, I felt kind of silly plodding up amongst the soldiers. -I swear Ajax never said anything about horses.

Each general had brought with five or six soldiers with him, giving us a force of about thirty men.

Anyway, after Little Ajax put on his show, he climbed into his horse and we got underway. -Actually, the general was boosted into the saddle by his aides.

Under Little Ajax’s direction, we made a wide circle around the Trojan plain, keeping to a long ridge that runs along the west side of no-man’s-land. -It was behind this ridge that Thoas hid his unused calvary in that three-day low-intensity battle we had with the Trojans some time back.

Without incident, we got within one hundred meters of the western wall of Troy.

At that point, Ajax and the other generals dismounted. This made me feel somewhat better.

It was then that Little Ajax unveiled his plan.

Little Ajax’s plan was to rush around to the northern wall of Troy, and attack anyone who happened to be there. Unfortunately, Little Ajax didn’t so much communicate, as much as demonstrate his intentions.

Apparently, only Little Ajax and General Sinon were privy to 'the plan'.

With a simple: “Let’s do it!” Little Ajax and Sinon charged the Trojan city, followed by their dozen men.

Nearly a full minute passed before us remaining generals realized the full extent of 'the plan', and what our role was to be in it.

With a reluctant: “Mother of Zeus”, Idomenus lead our second wave of the attack.

Predictably, by the time we had reached Ajax and Sinon, whom had courageously slaughtered a shepherd and his two sons, the Trojan guard was alarmed.

Standing amongst a flock of sheep, and under a thickening hail of arrows, our raiding party watched as more than one-hundred Trojan soldiers appeared from behind the east wall of Troy.

Needless to say, all hell broke loose.

Seeing the Trojans, Little Ajax screamed: “They knew we were coming!’ just before he turned and ran.

Sinon, on the other hand, rushed the Trojan horde, followed by a few brave souls.

As for the rest of us, we hesitated a bit too long.

It seems the bulk of the sheep had been interposed between us and the Trojans to the east. However, startled by a blasting horn and one-hundred charging Trojans, a flock of terrified sheep led the Trojan charge.

I can still see Sinon and his comrades valiantly fighting against the current, only to be washed off their feet by a wave of wool.

Then the wave hit us. However, this turned out to be a blessing-in-disguise.

Although their little hooves hurt terribly, lying sprawled out amongst the sheep, we were somewhat sheltered from the arrows that fell from above.

Still, I could hear the Trojans approaching, and I knew that our respite would be short. Anticipating my last battle, I clutched my sword, and waited for the flock to pass.

That’s when I heard Achaemenides shout: “Captain Eurylochus, grab a dead one!”

Looking to my left, I saw Achaemenides on his knees, holding a dead sheep over his back. –Immediately, I understood.

Due to the constant barrage of arrows, there were many sheep to be had. Grabbing a half-dead lamb, I swung it over my back. Soon after, the flock around me began to grow thin. As a handful of sheep rose above the rest, I could see that the other generals and a few remaining men had followed Achaemenides’ lead.

Struggling to our feet, we made our retreat. -A group of tall, staggering sheep amongst the flock.

My sheep took two arrows before we were out of range.

As we ran away, I passed a few of our Achaeans that just didn’t get it. One of my Ithacans stared blankly at me as I raced passed him, hauling a bleating lamb. -By the look on his face, I can’t help but wonder if he thought I was rescuing it.

I shouted for him to do the same, but it was too late. He died, completely perplexed.

Lucky for us, the Trojans didn’t make a whole-hearted pursuit. I think it’s because they caught General Sinon. As we dropped our sheep and scurried over the ridge, I looked back to see a circle of Trojans closing around Sinon’s shrieking voice.

Ten of us made it back.

Although Polypoetes and Idomeneus stayed up to grill Little Ajax in Agamemon’s presence, Eumelus and I excused ourselves and headed back to our camps.

When we returned, I thanked Achaemenides for his sheep strategy, and ordered him to inform the men of who was lost.

Achaemenides nodded dutifully and marched off.

π′

Her name is Aegle.

I just spent the entire evening walking along the beach with her. -Mother of Zeus, she has the most incredible eyes.

However, I didn’t find her at Agamemnon’s meeting.

In fact, we first met just outside my tent.

Apparently, Aegle and some of her fellow maids had spent the afternoon picking wildflowers for on the east side of our encampment. -They just happened to be returning through our Ithacan camp as I walked up.

Generally, I am pretty shy when it comes to these things. However, the disappointment of not seeing Aegle at Agamemnon’s conference, combined with the surprise of finding her on my doorstep, lead to me blurt out ‘hello’ before I had even fully realized she was in front of me.

My greeting sent off her companions like a flock of gulls, leaving the two of us just staring at one another.

After a few awkward moments, I asked her if she would like some dinner. She smiled and consented.

Putting on a good show, I called up some aides and ordered a fine meal. As we waited to eat, we sat outside my tent, exchanged pleasantries, joked about Agamemnon’s mannerisms, and introduced ourselves.

That’s when I found out her name was Aegle.

I also learned she is from Sparta (which gives her a nice accent), and that she hasn’t been on the beachhead very long. In fact, Aegle arrived here just a few months ago on one of Menelaus’ supply ships.

To my surprise, Aegle knew a lot more about me than I did about her.

Aegle knew I was first-in-command under Odysseus, and that I was currently in charge of the Ithacans. To my surprise, she had even heard about my Cretan-tossing feat last week.

To be honest, I was somewhat uncomfortable with how much Aegle knew about me. -Maybe I am just not so accustomed to having my ego stroked.

Anyway, after a little coaxing, Aegle admitted to giving me special attention at Agamemnon’s dinner party. After that, the rest of the evening was full of flirting.

Dinner was good. However, it would have been perfect if we had some wine.

After eating, I considered asking her into my tent. -I think she might have. However, I decided to be more of a gentleman about things, and instead asked if she would like to take a walk on the beach. She happily agreed.

It’s been a long time since I’ve even considered about being with a woman. It’s not that getting laid is particularly difficult here on the beachhead. That just isn’t my thing. -I tried that once. What a waste of pay.

Anyway, I didn’t want to give Aegle the wrong impression.

Seeing as she is a maid, I thought I would go out of my way to treat her like a lady of stature. -I think she really appreciated it.

The walk was very nice. The night air was perfect, and Aegle made for good conversation. Actually, I was somewhat impressed with her keen interest in our siege. -I spent most of the night retelling the many of the dramas that have taken place over the last several years.

To be perfectly honest, it kind of bummed me out that Aegle showed particular interest in stories about Achilles. Mother of Zeus, that guy could get ass from the grave. -I hate to say it, but I don’t miss him very much.

As for her, Aegle told me her uncle is an old friend of Menelaus, and is currently a supplier of the Spartan army. It seems she really wanted to come here, and I guess she had to plead with this uncle for a couple of years before he agreed to send her. -Aegle says she found life in Sparta to be too stale.

Anyway, it seems her relationship to Menelaus has provided Aegle some special privlidges. She isn’t an indentured servant. She is just a freelance maid, I guess. However, as Menelaus doesn’t like lady servants, he sent Aegle over to Agamemnon’s camp.

Basically, Aegle helps keep Agamemnon’s tent clean, but has little responsibility beyond that. Apparently, Agamemnon is under the misconception that Aegle is somehow related to him, and she hasn’t made the effort to set him straight. -She says things are easier that way.

Aegle seems to be a free spirit. -I like that.

After we returned from the beach, I decided to walk Aegle home.

Oddly, as we passed through the Minyan encampment, I happened to notice Achaemenides sitting amongst a group of Minyan soldiers. He looked surprised to see me. -I was surprised to see him.

In fact, I then realized I hadn’t seen Achaemenides since Dolon’s interrogation.

For some reason I had thought about Achaemenides a few days ago, but I guess I had convinced myself he had left with Odysseus. It appears that wasn’t the case. -I wonder what he’s been up to.

Acting somewhat general-like, I ordered Achaemenides to stop by my tent tomorrow morning. He nodded, looking a bit pale. -Aegle seemed impressed.

Anyhow, Aegle and I stopped a bit short before reaching Agamemnon’s encampment. Although we didn’t discuss it, both of us knew it might not be appropriate for me to walk her up to the Commander-in-Chief’s doorstep.

Before, I was able to say goodbye, Aegle kissed me on the cheek, wished me luck tomorrow, and ran off.

That was fantastic.

However, that is one thing I neglected to mention: At Agamemnon’s meeting this morning, the commanders decided to raid Troy’s northern border tomorrow night.

The party is to be lead by the Ajax that’s still with us, -Ajax of the Locrian army. This particular General Ajax is somewhat short, and before the Salamisian Ajax had died, many people referred to him as ‘the little Ajax’. -I’ve heard this really pissed him off.

To his benefit, the death of ‘Ajax the Great’ relieved the Locrian Ajax of this diminutive qualifier. Even so, the little guy still seems pretty pissed about something.

Unfortunately, I volunteered to go with him.

I don’t know what I was thinking. Perhaps I was trying to impress the other commanders. Maybe I was just depressed because Aegle wasn’t there.

At any rate, I’ve committed myself to raising trouble with the Trojans tomorrow night. -I hate to think now that I could have probably gone on a date instead.

At least Aegle seemed impressed with my bravado.

οθ′

There was a minor battle last night.

We Ithacans didn’t take part.

It seems General Thoas has been working on some sort of plan that involves digging tunnels or holes near the Trojan walls.

I am not sure if Thoas intended to sneak under the walls, collapse them, or just to create some kind of place where we can hide soldiers close to the city. However, come to think of it, the third option might have worked well with our Wooden Horse plan. -Maybe that was the objective.

I really wish these things were communicated. Nonetheless, it doesn’t seem to matter now.

I guess Thoas and the Thessalonian General Euryplus had been working together on this hole-digging project for the last few weeks.

Last night their digging crew was discovered by a small band of Trojans.

Generally the Trojans don’t patrol our side of the city after dark. Over time, the unspoken arrangement between the Trojan and Achaean armies has been that at night, we patrol south of the city and they patrol to the north. Thus, the current thinking is that Thoas and Euryplus were inadvertently stumbled-upon by a Trojan raiding party.

Whatever the case may be, the digging troop found themselves outnumbered and ill-prepared.

Notably, the Trojans that happed upon them were lead by a Mysian general also named ‘Euryplus’.

Although it would have made for a good story, it doesn’t appear the two Euryplus’s fought one another.

However, in the scuffle that took place, the Trojan Euryplus did kill Nireus, our best-looking Achaean.

Nireus was a good friend of General Thoas. He wasn’t much of a fighter, but he was well-liked and looked as if he descended from Mt. Olympus. -The women were crazy about him.

In fact, those who are apt to listen to Calchas believe Nireus had some of Zeus’ blood in him.

Whatever the case may be, it doesn’t seem Olympus was looking out for Nireus last night. From what I heard, he had been drinking, and had decided to accompany Thoas at the last minute. It seems Nireus didn’t even bother to armor himself. -The first sign of the Trojan's presence was a javelin in his back.

In addition to Nireus, Thoas and Euryplus lost about a dozen men.

Early this morning, we watched a large Trojan contingent marching about the plain, discovering and destroying most of the work Thoas and Euryplus had accomplished.

No doubt the Trojans are going to be a bit wary for a while.

Later today, Eumelus stopped by and told me that Agamemnon wants to meet with the army’s commanders tomorrow.

I wonder if his pretty maid will be there.

οη′

It was a beautiful day.

I think us Achaeans would have left the shores of Troy long ago if it weren't for the nice weather.

I realize I always make note of when it's storming. However, I think I've come to take for granted just how often we have perfect warm breezy days like today.

Anyway, this morning started off with a bit of excitement. Apparently the Trojans took advantage of the pleasant conditions and ran a few exercises outside their city walls.

I guess their sudden presence really freaked out our forward patrol. However, by the time a general alert was sounded, the small number of Trojans made it obvious it was just a drill.

Nonetheless, I decided on taking the opportunity to have the Ithacans complete a readiness exercise of our own.

Apart from one of our lieutenants getting himself trampled by one of the few horses we have, everything went extremely well.

I was honestly proud of our men.

As I walked in front of the soldiers with Misenus, I had the urge to give them a big, stern, beaming declaration of approval. Unfortunately, what I said was: "Good. Good men! That was a fast ready! Good job men."

Oh well, I guess Odysseus has me beat in the speech-making department.

Anyway, much more important than military matters, I saw Agamemnon's maid again today. -The maid that was making eyes at me the other night.

Furthermore, now I am sure she was making eyes at me. -She did it again.

Just after our drill was finished, I accompanied Misenus on his daily security inspection of the Wooden Horse site. In route, we passed an Argosian Captain and three of Agamemnon's lady servants.

I am not sure where they were going, but as they passed, the same gal gave me a swift shy smile. Turning around in disbelief, I saw one of her giggling friends slap her on the arm.

Misenus saw it too.

I’m not sure what the protocol here is. Maybe it’s bad form to chase after one of the Commander-in-Chief’s servants. Still, I don’t think she is that kind of servant.

Mother of Zeus, she is one of the prettiest girls on this beachhead. I can’t believe she’s fond of me.

I’ve got to do something.

οζ′

An uneventful day.

I spent most of the morning trying to get the wine for Epieus.

According to Macar, wine has become very scarce as of late.

It seems the Trojan's have been getting most their wine from Thrace. As Macar related, a few days ago, a Thracian mechant ship loaded with wine broke up on a reef off the shores north of Troy.

I guess this was the day I was at the swimming hole.

Anyway, most of our wine comes from the Trojans. Thus, their shortage has become our shortage.

As a result, the belt I got from Epieus cost a lot more than I anticipated.

In addition some sandals and my favorite lamp, to get the five bottles of wine, I had to trade off an ivory bull figurine my uncle Meges gave to me as a child. I never liked my uncle Meges. Still, it had some sentimental value. -I gave the bull to General Eumelus, who had some wine left over from his recent Pheraen holiday celebration.

I am not sure the quality of the wine was 'good', but Epieus seemed pleased enough with it.

Apollo’s ass. Now I think of it, I'm sure Epeius was aware of the wine shortage when he bargained with me yesterday. -That guy is slick.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the day doing spot inspections about our camp. I have to admit, things have been running fairly smoothly.

So far, this ‘General’ stuff has been pretty easy. Even so, I am already looking forward to Odysseus relieving me of command.

Being first-in-command kind of feels like I am wearing a tunic that’s too big for me. It’s not uncomfortable, it’s just too big. -I don’t think I have an ego fit for Generalship.

Damn. It just occurred to me, Odysseus was sailing in those rough seas a few days ago.

I sure hope the General fared better than those Thracians.

οϛ′

I went to Agamemnon’s party today.

I brought him one of Epieus’ belts as a present.

Just before lunch, I went to the build site to talk to Epieus about it. My timing was good, as I caught both Elpenor and Epieus preparing lunch.

When they inquired about my visit, I told them I was just checking upon the Horse, and to see how they were doing.

Elpenor seemed a bit cold. -I think he is still upset about not going with Odysseus.

However, Epieus was very gracious, and he insisted that I eat with them before I have a look at the Horse. I happily consented. Today’s lunch was grilled fish wrapped in flatbread, accented by some sort of pickled root. -It was fantastic.

After such hospitality, I almost felt guilty inquiring about the belt. However, I had little time, and I had already decided the belt was the perfect gift: significant, but not over-stated.

Anyway, after bringing up Epieus’ belts, he became cool too. Unfortunately, this time, Elpenor wasn’t on my side.

I worked on Epeius as we looked at the Horse, and after complimenting the work he has done several times, he agreed to let go of one of his belts. -At a price, of course.

After looking at his selection, I finally settled on the one he was wearing. The buckle was the brass head of a lion, with the lion’s teeth worked into the clasping mechanism. -It was pretty cool.

I pledged five bottles of ‘good’ wine, a new pair of sandals, and my favorite oil lamp for the belt. I consider it a fair trade.

After thanking Elpenor, I headed back to my tent to clean up.

When I arrived, I was surprised to see Eumelus and Thoas waiting for me. Fortunately, they hadn’t been there very long.

I guess Agamemnon’s dinners start well before dinner-time. -It seems that Agamemnon is really into this Egyptian game called Alquerque, and he likes to play a few rounds with an audience before everyone gets down to eating.

I really don’t like board games, but I had to play tonight. Agamemnon chose me as his first opponent.

The reason why I don’t like those games is because I’m terrible at them. Today, that worked in my favor. Agamemnon had a great time trouncing me in front of his band of Generals, and I played the role of ‘rookie’ perfectly, much to everyone’s delight.

To my surprise, Agamemnon didn’t win every game. In fact, some of the players were much better than the Commander-in-Chief, and they didn’t hesitate to show it. Eumelus, for one, is a hell of an Alquerque player.

Like most meetings between the Generals, there was plenty of wine to be had tonight. However, unlike any of the previous gatherings I have attended, this one was much more casual.

I expected to be sitting at a long table all evening, listening to Nestor tell endless stories, while everyone else took turns kissing Agamemnon’s ass. However, the atmosphere of Agamemnon’s dinner party couldn’t have been further from that.

Tonight’s gathering was very fraternal, full of lewd jokes, shit-talking, and even some rough-housing. We didn’t even eat at a table. Instead, we sat on a floor littered with animal hides and rugs, while Agamemnon’s pretty maids mingled about, keeping our plates and cups full. -It was a great time.

I swear one of Agamemnon’s maids was making eyes at me tonight.

Anyway, although some of the Generals got really tanked, I paced myself, making sure that I was never drunker than those around me.

It wasn’t until the party was nearly over that I decided to give Agamemnon the belt. As things were much less formal than I anticipated, I thought making a show of the gift would have seemed more like ass-kissing than gratitude.

As everyone filed out of Agamemnon’s tent, Eumelus and Thoas offered to walk me back. With just the two of them present, I gave Agamemnon the belt.

The Commander-in-Chief seemed a bit surprised, but very pleased. He immediately replaced his own belt, and smiling broadly, he slapped me on the back and said: “Eurylochus, you are a clever man. You are a terrible Alquerdue player, but you are an astute soldier. No doubt, if General Odysseus sinks, you will make a hell of a leader.”

With that, we left.

On the way back, Eumelus and Thoas ragged me about what Agamemnon said. Still, I could tell they were pretty impressed by his amity.

I can’t believe Agamemnon spoke about Odysseus’ possible demise so bluntly. -I’ve always been under the impression that he likes Odysseus.

Maybe it was just the wine talking.

-That reminds me, I need to get some good wine tomorrow.

οε′

-A much quieter day.

Just before lunch, Sthenelus came by to ask if I wanted to go hunting with him tomorrow. -I had to decline.

I told him I had a lot of work to do around camp, and that I would probably be pretty busy for the next several days. Sthenelus nodded and smiled. However, I could see he was a bit disappointed.

I felt a bit bad blowing Sthenelus off. Yet, the truth is, I really don’t like the guy. -Sthenelus is a crass, loud-mouthed asshole. The last thing I want is for him to harbor the notion that we are now good buddies.

Unfortunately, later this evening, Euryalus and Sthenelus walked by while Misenus and I were enjoying some wine outside my tent. At that moment, I didn’t appear to be too busy. -Oh well, maybe it’s for the best.

Surprisingly, not long after, General Eumelus walked up. For some reason, he was wearing a ridiculous-looking winged helmet and a big necklace of flowers. -I think it’s some sort of Pheraen holiday.

Personally, if I were Eumelus, I would have at least ordered some equally ridiculously-dressed officers to accompany me on my walk across camp.

Anyway, Eumelus informed me that Agamemnon was planning on having a dinner party tomorrow. Apparently, the Commander-in-Chief personally asked that I attend. Of course, I told Eumelus I would. -That was a surprise.

As Eumelus left, Misenus gave me a wide-eyed look and smiled.

“Oh, shut the fuck up”, I replied.

It’s going to be strange, going to such a function without Odysseus.

-I should probably bring a gift of some sort.

οδ′

I got in a fist-fight today.

Just after lunch, I went to the outskirts of camp to meet Euryalus.

Although I had thought about inviting Misenus or Macar to go swimming, I decided to go by myself.

Unfortunately, Euryalus brought Sthenelus with him.

When the three of us arrived, a crowd of Ithacan and Cretan soldiers were gathered around the hole, watching a small group of guys taking turns diving in. -One of the bystanders was the guy that had told Polites about the place.

Most of the men were infantry, but a few of those in line were Cretan captains.

It was wavy today, and the surf that fed the cavernous deep hole was making the waters rise and fall somewhat violently.

As we walked up, the bravest souls were taking turns diving into the churning waters, cheered on by those who possessed more common sense.

Diving into the swimming hole was a bit hairy. When the water was at its lowest point, it was probably a bit too shallow to enter head first. Therefore, it was important to time the dive so as to hit the water as it was rising.

Furthermore, once in, the violent waters made for a difficult escape. In fact, just as we walked up, the last diver rolled out of the hole, reveling in the humor of a freshly-skinned shin.

The Cretan captains were pretty pleased with themselves, and seeing us, they graciously invited us to join the cue.

I really didn’t want any part of it. However, as Sthenelus started shit-talking with the Cretans immediately, backing out would have looked really bad. -As there were Ithacans present, I had little choice. (Is that why Odysseus acts so stupid?)

Anyway, just as we stepped in line, a few local women walked up.

Predictably, the shit-talking amplified.

Before we had even jumped in, Sthenelus volunteered to do it with his eyes closed.

To his credit, he did.

Thankfully, I went before Sthenelus, and therefore, my carefully-timed jump appeared adequately dangerous.

Unfortunately, Euryalus wasn’t so lucky.

Euryalus was to jump after Sthenelus. However, inspired by Sthenelus’ idiotic bravado, a Cretan captain rushed before Euryalus, flipping in backwards.

As the Cretan emerged unscathed, it became Euryalus’ duty to one-up him.

With the men urging him on, and the women urging him not to, Euryalus had no options. -He had to do something completely idiotic.

To his credit, he did.

After thinking about it for a minute, Euryalus walked about ten paces away from the mouth of the hole. Then, rather dramatically, Euryalus removed his belt, and fastened it around his face.

“Mother of Zeus!” shouted Sthenelus.

“Noooooo!” shouted the women.

But he did.

Euryalus charged blindfolded towards the hole. And, with near perfect aim, Euryalus leapt headlong into the churning waters below. -He climbed out without a scratch.

The men went nuts.

In moments, Euryalus was on the shoulders of the Ithacans, surrounded by cheering soldiers and admiring women.

That is, until a Cretan captain shouted: “Apollo’s ass! -He could see!”

Without bothering to retort, Sthenelus strode up to the captain, and punched him hard in the nose. -Chaos ensued.

Within moments, a battle erupted, with sides quickly drawn between Ithacan and Cretan lines. -Euryalus and Sthenelus allied with us Ithacans, of course.

Although it was below my station to take part, given the circumstances, I had to make a good showing. Besides, a wiry Cretan immediately singled me out, and punched me square in the back of the head.

Thankfully, after a struggle, I was able to swing this guy into the swimming hole. -That was satisfyingly dramatic.

Unfortunately, that was the high point of the fight. Us Ithacans were out numbered almost two-to-one, and my next opponent was much larger.

It wasn’t long before the lot of us were eating dirt.

However, the Cretans were honorable, and no one was beaten long past submission.

As we hobbled back to camp, our small troupe had a good laugh about our sorry defeat. I was praised for my dramatic Cretan toss, and Sthenelus for his reckless bravado.

We all pressed Euryalus about his insane stunt.

He swears he couldn’t see a thing.

I am not sure if the fight was a good or bad thing. There’s no doubt it wasn't good for my nose and ribs, however, I think it earned me a measure of respect among the men.

In any case, it sure felt good tossing that Cretan.

ογ′

I decided to write Odysseus’ letter to Penelope today.

Dearest Penelope,

Your General is now leading a venture to get Achilles’ son Neoptolemus from the island of Scyros. It is a perilous task. In the meantime, I have left the Ithacans under the charge of Captain Eurylochus, who is quite capable. Do not worry, my trip will not take too long. Your General will soon return to the Trojan shores to finish this siege. I have told you that I expect to see you soon. That is still true. Say hello to my dogs, and to my good son Telemachus.

Your General,

Odysseus


I’d like to do Odysseus some justice. However, I had to keep the letter somewhat juvenile and egocentric in order to make it believable. -After transcribing so many, I think I’ve mastered his style.

The part about me was my fee.

I ran into Euryalus after dinner. Actually, he wandered over to where I was eating. -Now that Polites is gone, I think he is a little bored.

We talked for a while, and I realized that he isn’t such a bad guy. However, I think we have very different senses of humor.

Euryalus kept saying: “Have I told you about the Calydonian Boar?!” in this impersonation of Nestor that was spot on, but only funny the first time I heard it.

He asked if I wanted to go to that swimming hole tomorrow, and I said I would.

Now I kind of wish I hadn’t.

οβ′

Well, that’s it. Odysseus and his crew are off.

They left just after lunch.

I woke especially early this morning to ready the ship. As I expected, Elpenor showed up not long after, carrying a sleeping role and three over-packed rucksacks.

Thankfully, only Biaus was there to witness me letting him down.

As gently as I could, I explained to Elpenor that I needed him here. -I said some things about how he was so valuable because of his knowledge of the Wooden Horse and whatnot.

Although my reasoning didn’t make too much sense, I think it helped to soften the blow. Even so, Elpenor was a little misty-eyed as he walked back up the beach with his luggage.

Not long after Elpenor left, Diomedes’ small Argosian contingent showed up, sans Diomedes.

Odysseus and Polites followed soon after. -Odysseus was wearing Achilles armor.

A large amount of supplies were still lying on the beach, and I instructed Diomedes’ men to finish loading the ship.

As Odysseus was there and Diomedes was not, I knew the Argosians couldn’t really question my order. In fact, I was happy to see that Diomedes’ captain was pretty pissed off about it.

I then asked Polites to fetch our Ithacan crew. Meanwhile, Odysseus and I watched the Argosians struggle with the provisions.

Odysseus was in particularly good spirits.

He told me he had forgotten to write Penelope, and asked that I compose a letter for him after he left. -That’s going to be interesting.

After a short while, a number of our Achaeans began to show up to see the crew off.

Odysseus and Diomedes quest is now common knowledge about camp, and I think the men are excited to see the Son of the Son of Peleus. -Perhaps Neoptolemus’ presence will boost the army’s morale.

In fact, now that I think about it, this might be the whole point of the endeavor. Maybe the commander’s hope Neoptolemus will fill his father’s shoes and inspire the army once again. Judging by the crowd that gathered this afternoon, the commander’s might be right. -Maybe I underestimated them.

Anyway, after about an hour, there were a couple of thousand Achaeans on the beach.

Actually, when Polites arrived, the first task for our Ithacans was crowd control. As the bystanders were swarming the ship so much, I was worried the remaining supplies might disappear before the Argosians could get them onboard.

Finally, just after Baius informed me the ship was completely readied, Diomedes arrived.

Diomedes was accompanied by about ten other generals, including Agamemnon, Nestor and Menelaus.

The Generals arrived in somewhat of a parade, followed by a few covered carts and a number of officers.

I could tell Odysseus was a bit bummed he hadn’t taken part in such a conspicuous appearance. However, upon arriving, Agamemnon embraced him and loudly wished him well on his travels. That brought many cheers from the Achaeans, and a large smile from Odysseus.

Furthermore, Agamemnon announced he had brought a feast to celebrate their mission.

That brought more cheers as well.

At that, the officers who were accompanying the carts uncovered them to reveal large stacks of bread, pork and some assorted vegetables. Climbing atop, these officers began tossing the goods into the crowd.

Predictably, things quickly got out of hand.

Our army is not starving. However, this chaotic and impromptu offer of food threw the Achaeans into a feeding frenzy. -It was only a matter of moments before the carts were seized by the mob and overturned.

Agamemnon had brought food for the commanders as well. Unfortunately, we could only watch as our tables and the officers who were setting them were swallowed by the horde of hungry Achaeans.

In fact, we had to back down to the waters edge to avoid being consumed ourselves.

Agamemnon seemed somewhat frustrated at first, however, when Nestor quipped: “Maybe we need to rethink our portioning of rations...” the commanders shared a hearty laugh.

Eventually, some of Agamemnon’s battered officers emerged from the crowd with enough food for us.

It was actually pretty casual, eating pork and bread, standing in the surf with the army’s commanders. They all seemed to be in good spirits and there was a lot of joking and back-slapping. -Even Menelaus would quietly giggle every time a large wave crashed at our feet.

Soon, post-meal lethargy settled the crowd.

Agamemnon then made a short speech, wishing Odysseus and Diomedes good luck on their endeavor.

Then, amongst the cheers of all those present, crew embarked and set sail.

As I walked back to the camp, Agamemnon approached me. Patting me on the back, he said: “Well, Captain Eurylochus, you are now head of the Ithacan army. -You let me know if you need anything.”

I guess it's true. At this moment, I am head of the Ithacan army.

οα′

I’m too exhausted to sleep.

While I was eating lunch today, Odysseus strolled up and informed me that he wants to leave tomorrow.

I have no idea why he couldn’t have told me yesterday. Most likely, it’s because he just decided upon it this morning.

Anyway, the General’s decision made for a very long day.

After confirming that Odysseus wasn’t joking, I tossed my lunch aside and immediately got to work.

Actually, I tossed my lunch into the fire in front of Odysseus, but I don’t think he picked up on my pathetic statement. -He just smiled and walked off.

The first thing I did was to find Macar.

To my surprise, Macar was down at the beach, rigging one of our ships with Baius. -Apparently, they started preparing the ship immediately after I informed them of the journey two days ago.

Those guys are incredible.

I sincerely thanked the two of them for their forethought. However, Macar is my best supply officer, and I had no choice but to reassign him to supply duty. -Soon after, I sent orders to Elpenor to help Biaus finish the rigging.

Unfortunately, I think Elpenor now wrongly assumes he is going on the trip. -I didn’t really have the time to clarify it with him.

After preparing a list of necessary supplies with Macar, I then assembled the troops on the roster.

Considering as much time I spent preparing the list with Macar, I should have just asked Polites to ready the troops for me.

Sometimes I am too hesitant to dole out responsibility. -In fact, I waste a lot of time that way.

After assembling the troops, I came to this realization, and handed off the job to Polites. -He was more than happy to take over.

Polites has a great rapport with the men. However, once he assumes authority, they quickly fall into line behind him. Polites might be a goof-off at times, but he has the rare ability of being both friend and officer to our soldiers.

Anyway, once Polites had a taken over, I was able to get back to supplying the ship.

As we hadn't sailed in some time, I also had to find the relevant maps Odysseus would need.

Unfortunately, finding these maps proved unnecessarily difficult. -Unbeknownst to me, Odysseus lent about half of our maps to Nestor about three years ago.

Luckily, Polites had remembered delivering them. Otherwise, I would have never had known where they had gone. To make matters worse, Nestor had subsequently given them to some Cretan guy who he was paying to write his biography. -It took me nearly three hours to get our maps back in order.

Finally, just before nightfall, one of Diomedes captains came by to report that Diomedes and six of his men would be going as well. -Cracking a smile, this guy then informed me that Odysseus had offered to provide their supplies.

I didn’t want to take his word for it, but I also didn’t want to appear as pissed off and surprised as I was. Therefore, I just nodded as if I had expecting it all along, and told him I would see to it.

I then went to give Macar the good news.

It’s now well past midnight, and I just got back to my tent.

I was just down at the beach, where Baius and Elpenor were still working on the ship. -They had assembled sort of 'cabin tent' on the deck for Odysseus earlier in the day, but had to rearrange the setup after learning Diomedes would be going too.

Elpenor was working so hard, I am starting to think I should just let him go. -Still, he gets so lame when Odysseus is around.

I worry the men will be either too hard on him, or that he will dangerously annoy Odysseus in his overzealous quest to please.

If I were going, it might be a different situation. However, I worry what might happen to Elpenor if I am not there to look after him.

I'll decide tomorrow.

ο′

We released Helenus today.

Early this morning, Odysseus and Diomedes dropped by to give me the order.

Apparently, the commanders didn’t think Helenus’ knowledge of the Wooden Horse was of any great concern. -At any rate, I guess they deemed the prolonged detention of Priam’s son to be the greater risk.

On this point, I agree with our commanders. -I doubt Helenus could even betray the location of our camp to the Trojans.

Surprisingly, Odysseus didn’t mention his trip to retrieve Neoptolemus, nor did he ask of the crew I was to have recruited.

Instead, the generals were preoccupied with a conversation concerning some woman problems Diomedes was having.

After instructing me to release Helenus, Odysseus and Diomedes picked up their chat and walked out of my tent as if I’d just disappeared.

Anyway, after breakfast, Misenus and I escorted Helenus to the middle of the Trojan plain.

Misenus and I rode horses, pulling the tethered prince behind us.

Halfway into no-man’s-land, we untied him and rode off.

However, after going some distance back to the encampment, we turned to see that Helenus was still standing where we left him. -He was crying.

Worried what might happen if Priam’s son didn’t make it home, Misenus and I rode back and began coaxing him back to Troy.

Shouting at the sobbing prince, we herded him across the Trojan plain.

Strangely, Helenus didn’t seem interested in going home. -In fact, the prince would often run away from Troy, forcing us to go out of our way to cajole him back towards the city.

Fortunately, Helenus was afraid of our horses, and we found that rearing them up effectively reversed his direction.

After nearly an hour of this, it was a relief to see a group of Trojans riding out to confront us.

When they seemed close enough to overtake Helenus, but far enough not to catch us, we turned and rode back.

As we left, Helenus began screaming.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw the Trojan envoy chasing the frantic prince of Troy to the north.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning my tent.

ξθ′

It seems we cannot win this war without Achilles’ son. -At least that’s what Helenus says.

And, for some inexplicable reason, the commanders believe him.

This morning, I escorted Odysseus over to the Wooden Horse build site.

On the way, the General informed me that Helenus’ interrogation had revealed that Troy would not fall until Achilles’ son Neoptolemus had joined the fight.

Apparently, Neoptolemus is residing on the island of Scyros, an isle that’s closer to Ithaca than it is to Troy.

Unfortunately, the commanders took Helenus’ prophetic babble to heart. -Odysseus said all Achaean actions would be delayed until Neoptolemus was on Trojan soil.

The General then told me he will be leading the expedition to fetch Achilles’ son. -He figures it’ll take a few weeks to make the trip.

I didn’t know what to say.

As much as I would have loved to grab Odysseus by the ears and scream, “Are you a fucking idiot? Helenus isn’t a prophet, he’s just fucking insane!”, I restrained myself. -In fact, I didn’t say anything at all.

I just nodded and looked thoughtful.

Odysseus then asked that I take command of our Ithacans while he’s away. -I nodded again.

I have come to believe that a certain simplicity of mind is required of top leaders. I have seen many brilliant men of many different stations. However, I have yet to see a genuine intellectual reside in the highest.

Whether power breeds stupidity, or stupidity is a requisite of power, I am not sure. However, of one thing I am certain: servitude requires intellect.

Idiotic orders can be issued without consequence. Yet, it takes a keen mind to avoid consequence when idiotic orders are to be obeyed.

Anway, Odysseus couldn’t have been more pleased with the Wooden Horse.

Last time I saw the Horse, I was very impressed. However, it had since been polished with some sort of oil, and now the wood reflected sunlight in such a way that it almost looked like a real horse’s coat. -Even the rope mane and tail had been dyed and braided.

In addition, an enormous bronze bit extruded from between the Horse’s pearly teeth, connecting to an over-sized rein that fell loose about its neck. -The only thing the Wooden Horse lacks is a titan to ride it.

Odysseus was obviously impressed. Upon seeing it, he cried: “Mother of Zeus, it’s a thing of beauty! -It’s a goddamned masterpiece! Boys, you’ve outdone yourselves!”

At that, the entire Wooden Horse build crew cheered.

Standing side-by-side, arms on each others shoulders, Elpenor and Epieus looked like proud new parents. -Elpenor even shed a few tears of joy.

Then, to my delight, this happy moment was followed by a terrific breakfast.

Once again, Elpenor and Epieus outdid themselves. The meal consisted of several courses, including fish, lamb, chicken and pork. Each dish was uniquely prepared, and each was uniquely delicious.

Finally, to top it all off, Epieus presented Odysseus with a honey-glazed Bread Horse, filled with Achaean raisin 'soldiers'.

Unfortunately, the pleasure of dessert was somewhat diminished when Odysseus informed Elpenor and Epieus that the 'Horse plan' would be postponed until after Neoptolemus arrived.

Furthermore, the General asked they conceal the Horse until his return.

On this point, I agreed with Odysseus. -I couldn’t see how exposing the completed Horse now could be of any benefit.

Elpenor and Epieus were disappointed, and somewhat confused.

However, Epieus took the news in stride, and assured Odysseus the Horse would be kept concealed and readied for his homecoming.

Odysseus seemed genuinely appreciative.

After breakfast, I walked Odysseus back to his tent.

The General asked me to hold Helenus for one more night. -He promised to give me further instructions tomorrow.

Odysseus then asked I prepare a roster of thirty men to accompany him on his journey to Scyros.

Walking back, I ran into Polites. When he heard of the plan to retrieve Neoptolemus, he begged to be added to the crew. -I guess he has a cousin in Scyros, and has hopes to visit him.

I agreed to add Polites, and added Baius too. Macar wanted to go, but I can’t afford to lose him.

Finding the remaining twenty-eight men was easy. -In fact, once word got out that an Ithacan boat was leaving the beachhead, I was overwhelmed with volunteers.

After completing the roster, I spent the rest of the evening just wandering about camp.

Walking through the Achaean army, I became acutely aware of how permanent our siege has become.

After so many years, the prospect of sacking Troy has become much more an ideal than a reality.

Now that the Wooden Horse is complete, this stupid quest for Neoptolemus is actually somewhat of a relief.

As unlikely it is to be realized, I can’t honestly say that I am ready to see the fall of Troy. -Not just yet, anyhow.

ξη′

Our captive Helenus, just happens to be the prophet son of Priam.

Early this morning, Odysseus appeared at my tent, once again accompanied by Diomedes and Agamemnon. -Nestor and Calchas were there as well.

Odysseus looked a bit frantic, and upon seeing his entourage, I immediately broke into an anxious sweat, assuming something terrible had happened.

Jumping from my bed, I stood to attention and asked Odysseus what I could do for him.

Sharply, the General asked: “Captain Eurylochus, what is the name of our second prisoner?”

In response, I replied: “His name is Helenus, General Odysseus.”

Then hit me, Helenus was that Helenus, the prophet son of Priam.

I had felt that he looked familiar, but until the moment Odysseus asked me, I wasn’t able to place his face.

Helenus was there when we delivered Priam’s birthday presents, the day that Achilles died. -I guess the events of that day made his face less memorable.

Apparently, Odysseus and Diomedes had failed to place his face as well.

I immediately became pissed at Helenus for not telling me.

Anyway, I then asked: “General Odysseus, do you mean he is Helenus, son of the King of Troy?”

The General nodded gravely.

Odysseus explained that late last night, a Trojan courier delivered a letter to Agamemnon. The letter was from King Priam, requesting that we release his son, Helenus.

It seems Agamemnon knew that we had a second prisoner. However, he was only witness to Dolon’s interrogation and hadn’t seen Helenus in person.

Therefore, Agamemnon was rather surprised to learn that we had captured Priam’s son.

Furthermore, the fact that Odysseus and Diomedes had neglected to identify Helenus must have been somewhat embarrassing for the generals.

Doing my best to save face for Odysseus, I quickly responded: “I am very sorry General Odysseus, I did not realize the value of this prisoner. I wrongly assumed that Dolon was the prisoner of greater interest. I should have consulted with you first.”

At hearing this, Odysseus seemed to relax. He then graciously, but sternly excused my mistake. -Diomedes gave me a small nod of approval.

That being settled, Odysseus asked to see Helenus.

However, Calchas interrupted, and beseeched the commanders to first consider an alternate plan.

With much ado, Calchas impressed upon us that Helenus’ visionary abilities were legendary. As Helenus had yet to identify himself, Calchas recommended that we use this as an advantage to derive valuable prophetic information.

Although this sounded like flatulence to my ears, the commanders seemed genuinely interested in the idea.

Prudently, they formulated a strategy.

Knowing that Helenus was aware of Dolon’s fate, the generals designed to treat Helenus as if he were a common soldier.

Predicting that Helenus would reveal his identity to avoid torture, they could then demand proof of his visionary abilities in order to establish his identity. -Thus, we Achaeans could extort the revelations of a Trojan prophet and use them to our own benefit.

The plan was almost as ingenious as it was asinine.

Never mind that prophecy is crap. Even if it wasn't, I couldn’t see why the commanders thought we could somehow use it to our advantage. Nor could I understand why they assumed Helenus would surrender ‘real’ prophecies when he could just as easily feed us complete bullshit.

Nonetheless, Agamemnon was very impressed with Calchas’ plan. -As Agamemnon happily lets Calchas kick around the bones of his dead grandfather, I wasn’t too surprised.

Although none of the other commanders appeared to have any reservations, once Agamemnon was on board, it would have been impossible to tell.

At any rate, Odysseus ordered me to ready the interrogation tent once again. -With Misenus’ help, I did.

The commanders agreed to conduct the interview after dinner.

This time, as we readied the tent, I made sure that Helenus could watch Misenus carry the various implements of torture inside. Furthermore, although he was some distance away, Helenus also could view Dolon’s corpse hanging on the outskirts of our camp.

As we made the arrangements, I explained the commander’s plan to Misenus, who predictably found it as idiotic as I did. However, Misenus did identify a possibly critical flaw that I had missed.

Seeing that Helenus was Priam’s son, we could only keep him so long before the Trojans would be forced to respond.

The commanders hadn’t discuss it, however, I assumed that they planned on releasing Helenus after extorting his ‘valuable’ prophecies. -Anything else would all but guarantee a Trojan retaliation.

But, Helenus had been captured inside of the Wooden Horse.

Dolon hadn’t guessed the purpose of the Horse. However, there was no reason that we could assume the same about Helenus.

Besides, even if Helenus didn’t deduce the Wooden Horse strategy, he did know that it was hollow. -That alone could spell disaster for our plan.

Fortunately, after moving Helenus into the interrogation tent, I discovered Misenus’ concerns were likely unfounded.

Up to that point, I hadn’t really interacted with Helenus very much. Although I had fed him and tied him up a few times, I had yet to speak with him. -I always assumed that his silence was a natural response to his situation.

However, upon moving him into the interrogation tent, I came to realize that Helenus was quite insane.

After tying Helenus to the restraining table, I decided to prep him a little.

In the most malicious tone I could muster, I said to him: “Well, Helenus, it seems you are going to share Dolon’s fate. That is, unless you give the generals what they want…”

To that, Helenus softly replied, “My wristies hurt. Could you please loosen the rope on my wristies? ...Please?”

Not expecting such a response, and not so sure that Helenus wasn’t just fucking with me, I shot back: “Look asshole, the generals are coming soon, and they’re going to cut you up and feed you to the goddamned dogs if you don’t get with the program. I think your ‘wristies’ are the least of your worries.”

Helenus then began to cry.

Not because he was afraid of the torture, but because I was yelling at him. -I know this because he told me so.

He tearfully shouted: “No, please don’t yell at me. Now you hurt my earsies too! Please don’t hurt my earsies! -I can make a hat out of grass!”

At that, I gagged Helenus and went to get something to eat.

Shortly before dinner, I stopped by Odysseus’ tent. Not only did I want to apologize for failing to identify Helenus, I wanted to inform him that the Wooden Horse had been completed. -I figured he might be able to use this good news to safe some face with Agamemnon.

Odysseus was appreciative of both my apology and the news. -He told me that he would inspect the Horse tomorrow.

I went to inform Elpenor and Epieus, and then returned to the interrogation tent.

Helenus was fast asleep and snoring loudly. -I ate my dinner with Misenus outside.

Just before nightfall, the four generals and Calchas appeared.

This time, Odysseus asked that I remain outside.

Although I couldn’t hear the dialog of the four-hour interrogation, I did hear enough of Helenus’ crying to surmise his ‘earsies’ had taken a beating.

It was nearly midnight when Odysseus and the other commanders emerged. -Calchas had a wild look in his eyes.

Odysseus informed me the commanders intended to discuss the results of the interview, and that I should keep Helenus under guard until further notice.

I nodded and wished them all a goodnight.

Entering the tent, Misenus and I found Helenus, not on the table, but instead lying in a tangle of ropes beneath it. He was very disheveled, and covered in dirt.

Across the floor was a mural of strange symbols and drawings, likely etched with a twig Helenus was slowly chewing.

We cleaned the prophet son of Priam, fed him, and tied him back up.

ξζ′

Today was Dolon’s interrogation.

Although I was planning on sleeping in, Achaemenides woke me not long after sunrise. I am sure he didn’t sleep. However, by his energy level, you wouldn’t have guessed it.

Knowing that Odysseus wouldn’t be awake for some time, I escorted him over to Misenus’ camp.

To my delight, when we arrived at the build site, Misenus was helping Epieus prepare for breakfast. Epieus had concocted some sort of odd looking, but very tasty fish stew.

Anyway, as we ate, Misenus and Achaemenides related to Elpenor and Epieus the discovery of the two Trojan spies.

Dolon and his cohort (whom we discovered was named Helenus), were nearby, gagged and tied to a post next to Misenus’ tent.

Elpenor and Epieus were extremely distraught when they learned that the security of the build site had been compromised. They were especially grateful to Achaemenides, and consequently stuffed him full of fish stew.

After breakfast, we spent the rest of the morning watching Elpenor and Epieus’ crew put the final touches on the Wooden Horse.

After about two hours, and Achaemenides’ twentieth inquiry about seeing Odysseus, we took the two captives to see the General.

When we arrived at Odysseus’ tent, I was surprised to see he was up and about, drinking tea, and eating some leftover pork with Diomedes. -Apparently, Sthenelus and their lady-friends had already left.

Odysseus was looking chipper, and as he rose to greet us, he smiled and shouted: “Oh yes, our Trojan guests! I was wondering when you might stop by, Eurylochus.”

At hearing that, I looked to Achaemenides’, who to his credit, restrained from giving me an I-told-you-so look.

Anyway, after some deliberation, Diomedes and Odysseus decided to interrogate Dolon first.

Odysseus instructed me to prepare an Ithacan tent for the ‘interview’, and asked that Helenus be present. The ‘interview’ started shortly after dinner.

I am not a fan of torture. But, unfortunately, torture is what happens when you get caught by the enemy. -Especially when you’re a common soldier like Dolon.

Misenus prepared the tent, equipping it with a restraining table, and an array of nasty instruments. We Ithacans don’t have formal ‘torturing gear’, so Misenus had to get a bit creative, borrowing some tools from our barber and some from the Mycenaean blacksmiths.

Out of pity, I kept Dolon and Helenus outside of the tent while it was being readied. In fact, I purposely tied them so they couldn’t see Misenus carrying the various implements inside.

I even allowed the captives a bit of water, and I gave Helenus something to eat. -Unfortunately, I didn’t think Dolon should be fed, and by the look on his face, I could tell that he knew why.

Shortly after dinner, Dolon’s ordeal began.

Odysseus and Diomedes arrived with Agamemnon, and Odysseus asked that Achaemenides and I be present.

I have no desire to relate the details, but suffice to say, Dolon had a very bad last day.

For the most part, Odysseus and Diomedes took turns asking questions, and administering the torture. -During the entire interrogation, Agamemnon simply stood by and stoicly watched.

Dolon’s cries echoed about our camp for nearly three hours.

Thankfully, Odysseus never requested that I administer the torture myself. However, sometimes he would require my participation by asking me a rhetorical question, like: “Captain Eurylochus, did you not observe that Dolon had gone missing at the same time as my prized goat, Hermes?!”

To these questions, I would very gravely reply something like: “That is correct, General Odysseus.”

Unfortunately, at one point, for lack of hands, Odysseus asked I hold a rope and that Achaemenides apply pressure to a pry-bar handle. -The effect was enough to make Achaemenides throw up his fish stew.

I have to admit, I was somewhat stunned by the deliberate viciousness of Odysseus and Diomedes as they tormented Dolon. -Perhaps it was because Agamemnon was looking on.

At any rate, I never felt Dolon was making much of an effort to withhold information. In fact, sometimes it seemed like the generals were asking him difficult questions just as a pretense to applying more torture.

I have seen Odysseus kill a lot of men in a lot of gruesome ways. However, after Dolon’s interrogation, I have to say, I kind of see the General in a different light.

No doubt, finding Dolon in the Wooden Horse was a big deal. I also understand that finding out what the Trojans knew was very necessary. However, it wasn't just the method, but it was Odysseus' and Diomedes' cool application of the method that really disturbed me.

Anyway, after three bloody hours, the generals had revealed that Dolon had taken Odysseus’ goat, and that Dolon and Helenus had sneaked into the Wooden Horse. -That’s about it.

Dolon didn’t even know what the Horse was for. -As a matter of fact, I think that’s why he suffered so long.

After about an hour of denying any knowledge of it, Dolon began desperately guessing at why we Achaeans had built the Horse, obviously in hopes of satisfying his tormentors. -Several teeth and fingers later, Dolon guessed the correct answer, and was at last given reprieve.

That’s how it ended. -Dolon guessed the Wooden Horse was being built as part of an attack on Troy, and Odysseus and Diomedes were content.

That being accomplished, Odysseus wiped his bloody hands, looked to me and said: “String him up. We'll deal with the other one tomorrow.”

Then, nodding silently in agreement, the three commanders walked out.

Odysseus never asked me about the Horse, and I neglected to tell him that it was complete. -I guess I can tell him tomorrow.

Soon after the commanders left, I excused Achaemenides, who had long since lost all his color. He nodded and dashed out of the tent.

Dolon was left somewhat unconscious, but he was still breathing. After covering him with a blanket, I went to find Misenus and related Odysseus’ orders. -He offered to help.

To my relief, when we returned, Dolon was dead.

At that point, I think Misenus could see that I had had enough. -He told me he would take care of things, and insisted that I rest.

I thanked Misenus and left. However, instead of going to my tent, I went to the beach and swam for a couple of hours.

The moon was near full tonight, and while I was in the water, some sort of large fish or sea turtle swam past me.

It was pretty big. -However, I didn’t feel the least bit scared.

I didn’t even get out of the water.

ξϛ′

Apollo’s ass, Achaemenides was right.

Dolon was a spy.

Well past midnight, Achaemenides rushed into my tent, shouting in a state of exhilaration: “Captain Eurylochus, we’ve got him! We’ve got him! I kept looking and waiting, and looking and waiting, and we got him! We’ve got him, Captain!”

Forcing myself into lucidity, I calmed Achaemenides somewhat, sat him down, and asked him to elaborate.

Achaemenides then anxiously explained that he had taken my order to ‘look into the Dolon situation' very seriously. -It seems he has been dutifully ‘looking into it’ ever since.

Achaemenides is a hell of a soldier.

Anyway, Achaemenides’ watchful eye caught Dolon and another Trojan sneaking into the Wooden Horse build site tonight.

Achaemenides quickly alerted Misenus and his guards, and both spies were apprehended without incident. -I guess they had climbed into the horse and were easily trapped inside.

Stepping outside my tent, Achaemenides presented me with his two captives. Both were bound and held by Misenus and his Wooden Horse guards. Misenus gave a swift kick to Dolon who was ceaselessly squirming.

I asked Misenus what had transpired, and he echoed Achaemenides story.

Dolon was trying to speak or shout, but he was gagged, and Misenus wasn’t having any of it.

Dolon was wearing a tunic with Ithacan colors. Dolon’s companion, who was also bound and gagged, wore simple white robes. He stood silently and unlike Dolon, he looked very afraid.

After confirming the story with Misenus, we then escorted the captives to Odysseus’ tent.

To our surprise, Odysseus wasn’t sleeping. As a matter of fact, Odysseus, Diomedes and Sthenelus were engaged in some sort of orgy with a handful of lady-friends.

It wasn’t that I actually saw the orgy, but upon hearing some distinct sounds as we walked up, there was no mistaking it.

Dolon let out a muffled chuckle. Once again, Misenus kicked him hard.

However, I can’t say that I blamed Dolon. As we approached, someone in the tent (unfortunately, I think it was Odysseus) yelled: “Mother of Eros! Mother of Eros!” –At this, some of our Ithacans let out a chuckle as well.

As awkward as it was, I motioned to Odysseus’ door guards to announce our presence.

At first they hesitated, but Misenus spoke some words of encouragement to them.

One of the guards then reluctantly, but loudly pronounced: “General Odysseus, Captain Eurylochus wishes to see you.”

Not long afterward, Odysseus appeared, adjusting a backwards tunic. -He was obviously drunk.

Unexpectedly, Odysseus didn’t seem the least bit perturbed or ashamed by our interruption. On the contrary, I think he was pleased to be caught in such a state.

In fact, as he shouted for Diomedes and Sthenelus to join him, the General deliberately tossed back the tent canvas so that we might get a glimpse of his company.

It was no doubt to his pleasure, then, to watch our men crane their necks, and to hear his female companions shriek in embarrassment.

I tried my best not to respond.

Anyway, soon Diomedes and Sthenelus appeared, laughing and jovially punching one another.

Finally, Odysseus inquired about our business.

Acting as soldier-like as I could, I explained to Odysseus the circumstances of the Trojan’s discovery, and of their capture.

Odysseus was shocked.

Looking to Achaemenides, he gasped: “Do you mean…this, this is the bastard that stole Hermes!?”

Gravely, Achaemenides nodded.

At that, the General lunged forward and punched Dolon square in the face, knocking him out cold.

Odysseus then clutched his fist and shouted: “Oh fuck, my hand!” -This sent him, Diomedes and Sthenelus into a laughing fit.

Dutifully, our Ithacans began to nervously laugh as well. -That is, except for me and Achaemenides, -who was looking a bit confused.

The second Trojan looked mortified.

Anyway, when the Odysseus could speak once again, he waved us off and chuckled: “That’s a hell of a job boys… A hell of a job. Achimender, I’m giving you a medal. You’re getting a big, huge, medal. -See you in the morning.”

With that, Odysseus, waved to Diomedes and Sthenelus, and the three laughing generals retired back into the tent.

However, moments after, Odysseus’ head appeared once again. He pointed to me and said: “Eurylochus, I can give you a medal too. -Goodnight!”

Odysseus disappeared. Soon there were some more shrieks, followed by more laughter.

I instructed Misenus to hold the prisoners until the morning, and to double the guard about Horse site.

I told Achaemenides that he had done a great deed, and that he would be needed tomorrow when the General was feeling better. He nodded, looking somewhat reassured, and excused himself.

The sun will be coming up soon, and I’ve got to get some sleep.

However, this whole thing has really got me worried.

I mean, how can we be sure that this was Dolon’s first look at the Horse site? And, even if it was, how much do the Trojan’s already know about it? Could Dolon have already learned about the Horse when he was guarding Odysseus’ goat?

In any case, it’s a damn good thing that Achaemenides caught him. Odysseus is right, that guy does deserve a big, huge medal. -I’m going to see to that.

Anyway, I guess we’ll find out more tomorrow. -I suppose I’ll sleep in a bit, and find Misenus around lunch.

I’m sure Odysseus won’t be waking up early.

ξε′

A much quieter day.

Ajax’s funeral was held this afternoon down by the water.

There was a large funeral pyre and speeches were made. However, I decided not to go.

I didn’t really feel like spending another evening at an Achaean assembly. Besides, there were a lot of things that needed to be tended to about camp.

The last few days of celebration not only did a number on our site, but some of our soldiers had let the leisure go to their heads.

I hate to do it, but I had to be a real bastard today. I even went so far as to have Misenus whip a guy. I really despise corporal punishment, but the asshole talked back when I asked whose duty it was to clean the latrines.

I rewarded the guy with five lashes and the job to boot. -He should’ve known better.

Anyway, after getting our Ithacans back in order, I headed over to check on the Horse.

When I saw it, I almost had to laugh.

The Horse finally has a head, complete with an enormous set of pearly-white teeth. -It seems that was what Elpenor had ordered the shells for.

When I arrived, Elpenor was up top with a few guys, working on braiding a huge rope mane.

There’s no doubt that Elpenor and Epieus went overboard, but it really looks great.

At any rate, their extra efforts can’t hurt. It is supposed to be a gift after all. -Dropping off a wooden horse of inferior quality might make the Trojans even more suspicious than they are already bound to be.

Epeius told me the Horse should be complete by the end of the week.

I suppose that’s a good thing, but I’m getting a bit nervous about it.

Unfortunately, I came too late for lunch.

Despite my best efforts, Epeius was unresponsive to the hints I kept dropping about dinner.

I know I don’t have the right, but it kind of pissed me off. -I guess being a bastard put me in a bad mood.

I’ll tell Odysseus about the Horse tomorrow.

ξδ′

-And the funerals don’t stop.

This time, it’ll be for Ajax.

This morning, the majority of the army gathered once again for the festivities closing the Achilles Honor Games.

Fires were burning all over camp, and the smell of roasted pork was thick in the air.

Yesterday, Agamemnon decreed that fifty pigs would be cooked in honor of the late Achilles. -Unfortunately, Agamemnon didn’t decree who would supply how many pigs.

Our camp is low on livestock. However, in his zeal to please the Commander-in-Chief, Odysseus ordered Macar to donate five of our pigs to the feast.

I would assume that the other camps are experiencing the same shortages. Even so, we somehow ended up with about one hundred and twenty pig roasts.

Anyway, I went with Polites, Euryalus and Misenus. Polites had a bottle of wine with him, and one already in him. -He was in particularly good spirits.

When we arrived, Agamemnon, Menelaus and Nestor were standing on the same small platform.

As we approached, Agamemnon was loudly recounting the winners of the previous competitions. As each winner was announced, a small island of shouting would erupt from the crowd, indicating where the victor was standing.

Not long after we got there, the Commander-in-Chief recognized Euryalus as the winner of the javelin toss.

Polites gave his whole-hearted support. Even after the cheers around us had diminished, Polites was vigorously voicing his approval. In fact, Agamemnon’s introduction for the long-jump was punctuated by an all too obvious “Fuckin' Apollo, Yeah!” from Polites.

Misenus nearly pulled Polites to the ground as the crowd around us erupted into laughter. -Luckily, although the Commander-in-Chief frowned in our direction, it seemed he was unable to identify the source.

After these announcements were made, Agamemnon yielded the floor to Nestor.

Once again, Nestor had composed a poem for Achilles.

Apparently, the accolades Nestor had received for his last ode to Achilles had inspired him to write another. -Unfortunately, this one kind of sucked.

I don’t know if it was just his words or if it was due to his delivery, but Nestor’s second elegy was nothing but campy. The first line was: “Oh lucky Olympus! Oh lucky, lucky Olympus! You have clutched our brother to your bosom!” -Fortunately, we didn’t have to suffer it in its entirety.

About three minutes into Nestor’s poem, a piercing shout from behind the stage hijacked everyone’s attention.

Standing in a clearing between tents, completely naked but for sword and shield, was Ajax, King of the Salamisians.

Ajax looked awful. Even at fifty meters away, his pallor was obviously unnatural. His red eyes were deeply sunken, his skin was a grayish green, and his bright pink shoulder wound was oozing pus liberally over his shield arm.

Seemingly in a trance, Ajax swayed. Then, focusing his attention upon the crowd, he yelled something incoherent and began to stagger towards us.

A handful of Salamisians officers were desperately trying to restrain him.

However, each time one would get near striking distance, Ajax would wildly swing at the offender. –In fact, the shout we had heard was apparently from an officer who stood close by, holding a bleeding shoulder.

Except for Ajax and his men, no one took action. Glancing to the platform I saw that even Agamemnon was pacified by the compelling horror of Ajax’s approach.

Overcome with awe, we all silently watched a tragedy unfold.

Much to the dismay of his entourage, Ajax continued to hobble towards us. Although he was utterly incoherent, it was obvious that Ajax was upset. Yet, as much as he was perturbed by his underlings, it appeared that Ajax was equally frustrated by the state of his condition.

And so, every time Ajax stumbled, he became even more agitated. -Although they had little choice, the opposition of his soldiers was only making matters worse.

Yet, despite Ajax’s fury, not one of us Achaeans stepped back. -It seemed impossible that he would cover the distance.

Finally, following a mad assault upon one of his officers, the King of the Salamisians abrupty collapsed.

Lying flat on his face, perfectly still, it appeared Ajax might have expired.

Nervously, the Salamisian officers gathered around him. When he proved unresponsive to their queries, they gingerly attempted to roll him over.

However, once he was touched, Ajax released a savage cry. He then clutched onto an officer’s face, and bit him viciously on the mouth. -The other officers scattered, screaming like girls.

Ajax shoved his bloodied victim back, and with renewed vigor, leapt to his feet.

It was then that the King of the Salamisians then made his last stand. Raising his sword, he called something like: “Angwauraah!” and charged the Achaean army.

Or so it seemed.

Even as the entire army drew back from this singular onslaught, Ajax made a surprise turn and drove his sword deep into a tethered cow.

Ajax screamed in victory. The cow mooed in defeat. And then, both victor and victim collapsed.

Polites chortled loudly, but Misenus punched him hard in the ribs.

As a result of Ajax's extraordinary demise, the festivities closing the Achilles Honor Games were somewhat subdued.

Although it wasn’t announced, I assume a funeral for Ajax will be held tomorrow. However, I don’t expect the Ajax Honor Games to follow. -I think our men have celebrated enough death for some time.

Odysseus stopped by this evening, although I am not quite sure why. -He did bring me some pork.

The General didn’t have anything in particular to say, yet he seemed hesitant to leave. -I suppose Ajax’s death has put him off a bit.

Anyway, I tried to make conversation with Odysseus for about an hour, but his mind seemed to be somewhere else. Finally, he just asked me to order him some sandals and a new bedroll and left.

ξγ′

Today was the last day of the Achilles Honor Games.

The day’s events included archery, javelin, long jumping and team wrestling.

Archery was this morning.

Unfortunately, I didn’t do too well. It was a bit windy, and as the target was about fifty meters away, it was really difficult. I hate to say it, but of the three arrows that I shot, only one actually hit the target.

Luckily, I didn’t fare the worst. Some guys missed the target altogether. -One Dolichian captain almost hit a group of generals with a wild shot.

Teucer came in first, and the Locrian general Ajax came in second. For some reason Meriones didn’t compete this time around. -As a matter of fact, I wonder if he might have died during the recent action. I haven’t seen him for some time.

It’s hard to keep track of everything going on around here.

Anyway, Teucer is amazing. Even with the wind, his three arrows were almost touching each other in the bull’s eye.

That guy’s talent is unreal. -In retrospect, it’s kind of crazy that he wasn’t able to kill Hector from a much shorter range.

The javelin toss was entertaining as well. Oddly enough, lieutenant Stentor decided to compete again. This time, the lieutenant threw before Agamemnon, unleashing his javelin-tossing prowess.

Stentor took third place.

Agamemnon was about the tenth entrant to throw. The Commander-in-Chief’s javelin landed behind about nine others. At that point, Stentor was in first place.

Although the entire army let out a sigh of sympathetic disbelief following Agamemnon’s throw, it was all too obvious that Stentor should have won in the Patroclus Honor Games.

Lucky for Stentor, Diomedes out-distanced him soon after.

However, Diomedes didn’t win either. Amazingly, Euryalus, who was last to throw, launched his javelin a good five yards past Diomedes’. -The army went nuts.

Diomedes took it well however, and he had his arm around Euryalus as they claimed their prizes.

Euryalus and Polites had a pig roast this evening to celebrate. Polites brought the wine and some girls, including his old Trojan sisters. I stopped by for some pork, but I didn’t stay too long. -They’re still partying as I write this.

Anyway, Agapenor won the long-jump, and Odysseus, Diomedes and Sthenelus won the group wrestling.

Odysseus still wore the breastplate.

The winning team named themselves the 'Erymanthian Bastards'. -I’m guessing it was Sthenelus’ idea.

They also won a pig each.

However, instead of roasting these pigs, the Erymanthian Bastards painted them, tied them to a chariot, and raised havoc trying to race them through the encampment.

The 'Bastards' thought it was fucking hilarious. -As did most onlookers whose tents weren't in their path.

The games are to be concluded with a big feast tomorrow.

Elpenor just stopped in. He’s pretty pissed. -Apparently the Erymanthian Bastards found their pig paint in the Wooden Horse build site.

ξβ′

More games.

However, before the competition started, the day began with a strange performance. -Apparently, Nestor wrote a song about Achilles.

Standing with Nestor on the small wooden platform, Agamemnon announced that Nestor had something he wanted to share.

It was kind of odd. Before anyone knew what was going on, Nestor started bellowing out some sort of poem about the deeds of 'The Son of Peleus'. At first it seemed a bit cheesy and uneven, but as he got going, it really wasn’t that bad at all.

Nestor is one of the most boring orators I’ve ever heard. However, he is a damn good poet.

I remember some part of the song went something like: “His bodily might was measureless in the stormy clash of war…” -I guess that sounds cheesy now, but he really delivered it well.

By the end of Nestor’s song, the entire army was cheering. Nestor was overcome with emotion and he started to weep. -I was a bit touched myself.

In all honesty, I think Nestor’s song accomplished something that no one had yet done. -Nestor gave Achilles a sufficient farewell.

Agamemnon must have realized this too. -I later heard the Commander-in-Chief gave Nestor one of his fastest horses out of gratitude.

Anyway, boxing was today.

The Cretian general Idomeneus won. Epieus did pretty well, beating on Acamas so bad they had to call the fight. But, as I predicted, Epieus got his ass kicked by Diomedes.

I don’t know what was worse, watching Diomedes pummel Epieus, or listening to Elpenor scream like a girl every time Epeius was hit. Elpenor was standing by Misenus and I, and we had to leave before it was over because we were so embarrassed.

I think Diomedes could have beat Idomeneus too. However, Idomeneus is a bit older and I think Diomedes was pulling his punches. -Unfortunately, Idomeneus made a long speech about how great he was when he claimed his prize pig.

One-on-one wrestling was this afternoon too. Diomedes won.

The last battle was actually between Diomedes and Odysseus. It was a dramatic fight, and the crowd loved it. However, Odysseus still insisted on wearing Achilles’ breastplate while competing.

Once again, I think the breastplate lost it for him. Diomedes kept grabbing hold of it and swinging Odysseus to the ground. I kind of felt embarrassed for him.

Anyway, Odysseus put up a hell of a fight and made a good showing. -He won a chicken and some wine, which he told me to give to our men.

That was nice of Odysseus. However, I think he gave up his prizes so I wouldn’t be so pissed at him when he asked me to do him a favor.

After the day’s events were done, the General asked that I pay my respects to Ajax. -That wasn’t fun.

I went, but I took Macar with me. Honestly, I was a bit nervous about stepping into the Salamisian camp, and I thought Macar’s nasty disposition might provide some protection.

When we got to Ajax’s tent, he was sleeping. They made us wait outside for about an hour before we could go in. The entire time we just stood there under the hateful glare of Ajax’s guards. -Apollo’s ass, that sucked.

Anyway, Ajax looked really bad. I don’t think he even knew we were there. He was all sweaty and pale, and seemed to be a bit delirious. We just sort of stood at his side for what seemed like an appropriate amount of time and then excused ourselves.

I didn’t even want to say that Odysseus wished Ajax well or anything. -I didn’t think it would be appropriate mentioning Odysseus’ name in his tent.

On the way back, I apologized to Macar. He said it was cool.

I spent the rest of the evening practicing some archery for tomorrow.

ξα′

Today kicked off the Achilles Honor Games.

I ran in the foot race this morning.

I was happy to beat out Polites and Euryalus, but I came in tenth place.

Odysseus didn’t win the footrace this time around. He came in third. Maybe it’s because he ran wearing Achilles’ armor.

I hate to say it, but Odysseus looks kind of lame prancing around in a breastplate with a big ‘alpha’ on it. -Achilles himself could barely pull it off.

Anyway, some Pheraen guy won.

The chariot race and the discus throw were also held today.

There were two crashes in the race. The first collision was between Agamemnon and the Arcadian general, Agapenor. I felt pretty bad for Agapenor. –It was really his fault, and Agamemnon looked pretty pissed about it.

The second crash was nasty. This one actually involved Achilles’ old chariot driver, Automedon. Automedon was driving Achilles’ chariot, which also has a big ‘alpha’ on it. –It’s funny. I don’t recall anyone awarded him with it.

Anyway, Automedon tipped on a turn, and his own driver was tossed into the path of Eumelus’ chariot. -Eumelus unintentionally ran over the poor sap’s head.

Diomedes won the chariot race again.

When we were watching the discus competition, I asked Polites why he hadn’t entered this time around. He got third place last time. -I felt like a total ass when he held up the two fingers and thumb on his right hand.

Polites laughed about it, but I could tell he didn’t really think it was that funny.

Macar did compete in the discus event.

He actually took second place, which earned him a chicken. -The prizes for the Achilles Honor Games aren’t as great as they were in the Patroclus Honor Games.

In other news, I heard that Ajax is still alive.

However, I don’t expect to see him in the boxing competition tomorrow. -I guess that's good news for Epeius.

ξ′

Odysseus might have killed Ajax.

This morning, nearly the entire army gathered near the commander’s camp for the opening of the Achilles Honor Games.

I went with Polites, Misenus and Euryalus.

When we arrived, Agamemnon was standing on a small wooden platform, flanked by Nestor, Diomedes and Odysseus on one side, Menelaus, Ajax and Eumelus on the other. Diomedes was holding Achilles’ breastplate.

Most of the other commanders were surrounding this platform.

We were able to push ourselves to within about fifty meters of Agamemnon until our rank ran out.

I ran into Achaemenides when we were moving through the crowd. He didn’t say anything to me, but gave me a very serious nod. -I think he was trying to infer that we shared some kind of secret knowledge. I 'knowingly' nodded back.

After about a half an hour, Agamemnon began to speak: “Fellow Achaeans, three days ago, we suffered an immeasurable loss. Achilles, son of Peleus, was a man without equal. Unmatched in courage, unmatched in skill, and unmatched in loyalty to our cause, the Champion of the Achaeans will be dearly missed!”

These comments brought a restrained, somewhat unconfident cheer from the crowd.

Personally, 'Unmatched in loyalty' seemed a bit strong to me.

Anyway, Agamemnon continued: “And so my fellow Achaeans, we are unmatched in our grief.”

He then paused and lowered his head.

Many of the men around me lowered their heads as well.

After a few moments of quiet observance, Agamemnon perked up again and shouted loudly: “But, let us not forget, Achilles was a man of action! And knowing this, we should not be paralyzed by the tragedy of his passing. No! Instead, we shall be invigorated by his spirit!”

This brought some louder, more confident cheers.

Agamemnon then motioned to Diomedes, who raised Achilles’ breastplate high.

Pointing to the armor, the Commander-in-Chief belted: “And so, to commence these games which we hold to honor the Champion of the Achaeans, we shall give his armor to the man who most embodies his spirit!”

Agamemnon took the armor from Diomedes, held it aloft, and cheered: “Our new Champion, the Custodian of Achilles’ Spirit, is... General Ajax, King of the Salamisians!”

In response, the crowd let out a strangely uneven cheer.

Unfortunately, Ajax and Odysseus stepped forward to accept the armor.

It seemed as if Odysseus hadn’t heard Agamemnon’s announcement at all.

Nonetheless, Odysseus and Ajax were both beaming. That is, until they both laid hands on the prize. Looking perplexed, Odysseus and Ajax began to pull at the breastplate. -However Agamemnon, who also looked perplexed, seemed reluctant to give it up.

The small audience on the platform was stunned.

The crowd was equally befuddled. Some men cheered. Some gasped in disbelief. Some even booed.

As the tug-of-war between Odysseus and Ajax heated up, the noise from the audience grew in intensity. Slowly, the crowd began to surge forward.

Seeing that things were about to spiral out of control, Agamemnon yanked the breastplate back, and yelled at the top of his lungs: “CEASE THIS MADNESS!”

A hush fell over the mob.

It was obvious to all (except possibly Odysseus), that Agamemnon had intended to give the breastplate to Ajax. However, I could tell the Commander-in-Chief was now uncertain of what to do.

It would be awkward for Agamemnon to slight Odysseus in front of the entire army. Furthermore, the crowd didn’t seem very supportive of his first choice.

However, Ajax had been selected as the Custodian of Achilles’ Spirit, and it would be equally, if not more difficult, to retract this honor.

Agamemnon stood in silence, clutching Achilles’ breastplate for nearly a full minute.

Whispers began to spread through the crowd. -I knew Agamemnon had little time.

Fortunately, Menelaus acted for him.

In a move that surprised the entire army, Menelaus stepped forward, laid his hand on the breastplate and addressed the army in a shrill, squawking voice: “Achaeans, only one man can wear Achilles’ armor. Only one man can guard his Spirit. -We will have a duel to decide who that man is!”

Menelaus nodded to Odysseus and Ajax: “We will have that duel, now.”

This was the first time Menelaus had spoken publicly. In fact, it was the first time many of the commanders had actually heard him speak at all.

And now, not only had Menelaus addressed the entire Achaean army, he had just announced an impromptu duel between two of its highest commanders. -Every last soldier was stunned into silence.

All eyes fell upon Agamemnon.

The Commander-in-Chief looked at his brother, at Odysseus and Ajax, and then at the crowd.

Slowly, Agamemnon began to nod. Starting with a slight tilt of the head, Agamemnon began to nod more and more vigorously. When it seemed that he couldn’t nod his head with anymore conviction, Agamemnon shouted: “Yes, yes, yes! This is how Achilles’ would have wanted it. This is in his Spirit. General Odysseus, General Ajax, you will duel for the armor of Achilles!”

Agamemnon then commanded: “Clear a circle!”

I immediately ran to Odysseus’ side. I met the General as he stepped off the platform.

Odysseus was befuddled. His face was white.

I could tell the General hadn’t the slightest idea why he had just been instructed to duel Ajax for Achilles’ armor. I tried to speak to him, but he wouldn’t take his eyes off Ajax. No matter what I said, Odysseus would just nod as he blankly stared across the circle.

In moments, Odysseus and Ajax were standing, readied to duel, surrounded by the entire Achaean army.

Odysseus was a nervous wreck. I had never seen the General look like this. Rocking back and forth, he kept placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, adjusting his shield or tilting his helmet. -He couldn’t hold still.

Ajax on the other hand, was as cool as ice. In fact, the look on his face was one of expectant pleasure. Despite the circumstances, you would've thought Ajax had just begged Menelaus for a chance to fight Odysseus. -Ajax hardly moved at all.

Shortly after the combatants had been readied, Agamemnon stepped into the middle of the ring, and announced the plan once again: “General Odysseus and General Ajax will duel for the armor of Achilles. The winner of this duel shall be proclaimed the Custodian of Achilles’ Spirit! May the Gods bless you both!”

Backing off, Agamemnon then signaled for Odysseus and Ajax to commence.

I was ringside, and was therefore able to watch the action firsthand. However, due to the size of the crowd, most of the army couldn’t see the fight. -And, looking back, that was probably for the better.

The fight was over before it started. -Odysseus won.

Drawing their swords, Odysseus and Ajax approached each other slowly.

Then, just as they reached striking distance, Ajax bowed.

Unfortunately, Odysseus was a bit on edge.

Reacting to Ajax’s sudden movement forward, Odysseus swung his sword and leapt back. Odysseus cut deep into Ajax’s exposed shoulder, audibly cracking his collar bone.

Ajax fell with a loud cry. Blood gushed from his wound.

Odysseus stepped back. His expression was a mix of horror and disbelief.

Hearing the cry, the crowd pressed the circle tighter. -Some Salamisian officers broke out and rushed to Ajax’s aid.

Ajax was moaning and rolling back and forth on the ground. -He looked very pale.

Agamemnon was noticeably disturbed. However, without missing a beat, he grabbed Odysseus by the shoulder and led him back onto the platform.

Holding the breastplate aloft, he shouted to the assembly: “Odysseus, son of Laertes, King of the Ithacans, is the Custodian of Achilles’ Spirit, the new Champion of the Achaeans!”

Although there were few cheers from those that had actually seen the 'battle', the rest of the crowd roared with approval. -Excepting the Salamisian contingent, of course.

Anyway, that's how Odysseus became our new Champion.

As Agamemnon proclaimed his new title, I could tell Odysseus was still dumbfounded. However, as Agamemnon and Menelaus strapped Achilles' breastplate onto him, the General began to smile.

The men were going nuts.

Soon, Odysseus started to get into it, pumping his hand in the air and waving to the crowd. It was several minutes before Agamemnon was able to speak again.

When the crowd had finally settled, the Commander-in-Chief addressed the issue of Ajax, who was still lying in the dirt, moaning as his men bandaged him.

“My fellow Achaeans, although the Gods have blessed us with a new Champion, our brave General Ajax has been wounded.”

The masses sighed.

Agamemnon continued: “Therefore, we shall postpone the Achilles Honor Games until the morrow. Let us take this day to honor Odysseus, King of the Ithacans, Champion of the Achaeans, as well as our fallen comrade, Ajax, King of the Salamisians.”

More cheers.

With that, Agamemnon, Menelaus, Diomedes and Nestor abruptly left the stage. Odysseus tried to follow, but he was intercepted and overpowered by a mob of adoring fans. Lifted upon their shoulders, Odysseus was carried back to the Ithacan camp for a night of compulsory revelry.

As the majority of the crowd followed Odysseus’ parade, I watched the Salamisians soberly escort their injured general back to their own camp.

I spent the rest of the day trying to minimize the impact of the celebration centered in ours.

Although a majority of the men must have heard Agamemnon’s original pronouncement, no one seemed troubled by the sudden switch that conferred the honor to Odysseus. Maybe it’s because the decision was resolved in a duel. Perhaps it’s because so many thought Odysseus was going to be chosen in the first place.

At any rate, Odysseus’ popularity has gone through the roof. More than twenty generals have stopped by today to congratulate him personally.

I have yet to speak to the General myself. -I think I’ll wait for him to return from his ego trip first.

νθ′

A slow day.

Today’s activities focused on preparation for the Achilles Honor Games.

Like the Patroclus Honor Games, today there were tables set up about the commander’s camp where Achaeans could sign up for various events.

Most of the events were the same, with the new addition of a team wrestling competition. Wrestling was the most popular event last time around, and I think the organizers wanted to capitalize on that.

Unlike the Patroclus Honor Games, many more soldiers seem to be registering for the events. Even in the javelin toss, Agamemnon’s signature was followed by at least twenty others. -I suppose these contestants are assuming that if several people beat the Commander-in-Chief, no one in particular will be held accountable for making him look bad.

Following the crowd, I decided to compete in these games. I signed up for archery and the foot race. I don’t suppose I have much chance in either, but it could be fun.

I ran into Polites and Euryalus near the registrar. They both signed up for the foot race too. Euryalus was one of those who signed up for the javelin toss after Agamemnon did, however he didn’t join the boxing competition this time around.

In response to Elpenor’s prodding, Epeius did sign up for boxing again. This time the competition looks a bit tougher. -Both Ajax and Diomedes had entered when I last looked at the list.

There was a small feast in the Magnesian camp this evening, and although an open invitation was extended throughout camp, by the time Misenus and I had arrived there wasn’t any food left.

We stayed around for a while and chatted, but got hungry and had to go back to cook our own dinner.

There was a bit of talk going on around camp as to who was going to be awarded Achilles’ breastplate. Unfortunately, a large contingent seems to think Odysseus is going to be the lucky recipient.

I did see Odysseus for a moment today. Although we didn’t discuss who might be the “Custodian of Achilles Spirit”, the shit-eating grin on his face has got me thinking he might be in the pro-Odysseus contingent too.

νη′

Today was the funeral.

Shortly after breakfast, a large procession followed Achilles’ body down to the beach.

Agamemnon, Menelaus and Nestor rode in a large chariot, attached to which was a large flat-bedded wagon.

On this wagon laid Achilles body, wrapped in a clean, white cloth and decorated with the few flowers that could be gathered from the depleted Trojan plain.

The only men who didn’t follow this convoy were those who ordered not to. Therefore it looked more like a funeral migration than a procession.

Diomedes was riding at the head of a large group of generals that followed close behind Achilles’ wagon, flanked by Odysseus and Ajax.

I was walking behind this group, along with a few hundred of the more senior officers. Polites and Misenus were with me. I invited Elpenor, but he said he’d rather stay back at the camp. -Epeius joined us.

When the majority of our army had reached the beach, Agamemnon made a long speech.

Unfortunately, it was a bit windy, and most of us couldn’t hear what he was saying. Every once in a while I could make out something like “shall not be forgotten!” or “in the hearts of us Achaeans!” at which point the Commander-in-Chief’s eulogy was drowned out by the shouts of those who actually could hear.

Following the speech, Achilles body was placed high on top of our weekly supply of wood, and a fire was lit.

As I said, it was windy, and Achilles’ over-sized pyre blazed with an insane ferocity. -It wasn’t long before those generals with the best view were pushing back into the ranks of us lesser officers.

I could feel the heat from nearly one-hundred meters away.

Anyway, we spent about a twenty minutes watching the inferno, after which our attention was brought to Agamemnon once again. -This time Agamemnon was standing on a large rock slightly up the hill and back towards our encampment.

Polites had spotted him early, and therefore we were able to get within earshot before he began his second address.

After the majority of men had turned their focus from the conflagration, Agamemnon began, belting: “My dear Achaeans, to honor our Hero, Achilles, Son of Peleus, Student of Pelion, Champion of the Achaeans, we shall hold a series of tournaments. These shall be called, The Achilles Honor Games!”

This announcement brought some cheers from the crowd, but not as many as Agamemnon had likely hoped for.

The Commander-in-Chief hastily continued: “These games shall begin upon the second rising of the sun!”

There were a few more cheers.

Struggling to build momentum, Agamemnon then waved Eumelus forward. Eumelus was holding Achilles’ breastplate high above his head.

At seeing this, a murmer spread through the crowd.

Pointing to the breastplate, Agamemnon shouted: “The Achilles Honor Games will commence with the presentation of this armor to the new Champion of the Achaeans, -The Protector of Achilles’ body, and the Custodian of his Spirit!”

There was complete silence.

Somewhat awkwardly, Agamemnon concluded: “Until then, my fellow Achaeans, let us observe the loss of our dear Achilles!”

Agamemnon and his small entourage then abruptly withdrew from the beach.

As much as the Commander-in-Chief had tried, Achilles’ funeral seemed anticlimactic and unsatisfactory.

Achilles was larger than life. No ceremony could sufficiently address the immense tragedy of his death.

Personally, I never liked Achilles. -He was a pompous, egocentric prick.

Still, Achilles' presence was invaluable. His effect on morale of the Achaeans was well worth suffering his colossal ego. I am sure that on some level, even Achilles knew this.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the day catching up on work about camp.

Elpenor was pretty pissed when he found out there wasn't any wood for the Horse this week. -I had to laugh when he walked out mumbling something about "wood for an ass instead of a horse."

I didn’t really consider it at first, but our Ithacans seem to think Odysseus is the new Champion of the Achaeans Agamemnon was talking about.

I guess that might be my fault.

Although I don’t really care who gets Achilles armor, it is quickly becoming the hot topic about the beachhead. -Polites said people are starting to place bets on who will be chosen as "Custodian of Achilles' Spirit."

To be honest, I think Agamemnon will give the armor to Ajax. He was the one who recovered Achilles' body after all.

I bet our Ithacans won’t quite understand that.

-I hope they don’t blame me when Odysseus doesn’t win.

Shit.

νζ′

Mother of Zeus. He’s dead.

Achilles is dead.

I have no idea what will happen now.

This is the story:

Today just after sunrise, Priam’s birthday envoy assembled near Agamemnon’s tent. Besides Odysseus and I, there were about thirty other commander’s and captains, including Diomedes, Nestor, Ajax, Thoas, Eumelus, and Menelaus.

Achilles was there too.

Each of the captains was holding their general’s birthday gift for Priam, including myself.

We were all on horseback.

It was a nice morning, and everyone was dressed in their fanciest armor. Most impressive of which, was Menelaus’ helmet. Menelaus was wearing a ridiculous over-sized helmet, sporting wings that were longer than my arm. -It almost looked like the one Macar had fashioned for Hermes the goat.

Anyway, Agamemnon had sent some heralds ahead to announce our intention, and about thirty minutes after we had arrived, they returned with an official invite from the King of Troy.

By that point, a large crowd of our Achaean soldiers had gathered around us.

Pushing his way through the crowd, the herald approached Agamemnon and puffing up his chest, he shouted: “King Agamemnon, son of Atreus, Commander of the Achaean army, I bear news that Priam, son of Laomedon, King of the besieged city of Troy, has welcomed your gesture of goodwill, and would be pleased to meet you and your diplomatic entourage at the Gates of Troy!

The herald looked as if he was expecting applause, but none came.

Without addressing the herald, Agamemnon rode forward and raising his hand, waved for us to follow.

As we trotted across the plain towards Troy, I could feel the eyes of the Achaean encampment on our back.

The Generals were in especially good spirits, and were joking about who had brought the best present for Priam.

At one point, Ajax quipped that he was giving a Priam a large wooden horse for his birthday. That brought nervous laughter from a few, and a frown from Odysseus.

Odysseus insisted I keep his present in a sack. To his pleasure, we were the only ones who had brought a belt. As I had predicted, Priam was getting six swords and three shields. Ajax was one of those whom had brought a shield. -Maybe he was bitter.

Anyway, when we got to Troy, the gates were open, and standing in front was Priam, flanked by about fifty Trojan commanders. Behind this greeting party, we could see and hear evidence of a festival within.

Priam was wearing a long green cape and a huge golden crown. His sons Deiphobus and Helenus were with him, but Paris was nowhere to be seen.

Glaukos was amongst the Trojan contingent. I could see him eyeing Odysseus as we rode up.

Agamemnon brought us to a halt about ten meters from the Trojan line. He then shouted: “King Priam, on behalf of the Achaeans, I would like to extend our warmest wishes upon your sixtieth birthday!”

At that, Agamemnon signaled for us gift-bearing captains to dismount.

Taking turns, each captain would announce the title of their respective General, and then solemnly walk up to Priam and present his birthday gift. Priam would then nod approvingly, and the gift would be taken by one of Priam’s aides.

I was the third to present, after the captains of Diomedes and Nestor. Diomedes gave Priam a long finely ornamented spear. Nestor presented an ivory statue of Apollo.

I couldn’t be sure Priam particularly liked the belt. However, he smiled and made an exaggerated gesture that pleased Odysseus well enough.

Ajax’s captain followed me. He had the honor of presenting the first shield.

The impromptu ceremony was slow but pleasant.

I felt a bit nervous as we initially rode up. However, after a dozen or so gifts had been exchanged, both sides seemed to relax. Some of the Trojans even started complementing the nicer birthday presents.

But then, it was Achilles turn.

Honestly, I never expected Achilles to make an offering.

However, after each of the captains had presented, Achilles gave a nod to Agamemnon and stepping forward, he held up a shining bronze breastplate with a large ‘alpha’ on the front.

Then, in a weird mixture of megalomania and humility, Achilles slowly approached Priam with his own breastplate raised high above his head.

Once again, my anxiety returned.

Strangely, as much as everyone else was shocked by Achilles’ display, the King of Troy didn’t seem the slightest bit disturbed. In fact, as Achilles approached, the look upon Priam’s face seemed to be one of warm approval.

That is, until Achilles stopped and screamed: “Son of a bitch! …Fucking Zeus!”

To everyone’s amazement, Achilles tossed the breastplate aside and hopping on one foot, he spun around, looked at Agamemnon, and pulled his sword.

Agamemnon shouted: “No!” and raised his hands.

Achilles eyes grew extremely wide. Yet, instead of turning back towards the Trojans, he stopped and only stared at Agamemnon.

Then, he fell.

Achilles flopped flat upon his face. One arrow was stuck in his foot, the other, in the back of his neck.

Achilles was dead.

For what seemed like minutes, the entire world went silent.

And then, there was a yell:

“Yes! There you go! Yes! That’s what you get! That’s what you get!”

It was Paris, shouting from the top of the city wall. He was wearing those strange flowing white robes, and pumping a bow up and down over his head.

Chaos ensued.

Oddly enough, this began with Nestor throwing a javelin into the chest of a Trojan aide.

Suddenly energize by Nestor’s retort, our small Achaean contingent charged. -I didn’t even have a sword.

Luckily, the Trojans were as ill-prepared for our attack as we were, and a riotous brawl began.

No one would ever believe me, but I actually punched the King of Troy. -It was a glancing blow, and I wasn’t even aiming for him, but in my flailing amongst the Trojans, I swear that I caught him on the chin.

After a few minutes, this brawl became centered upon the corpse of Achilles. -I can’t say why, but for some reason, it evolved into a battle for his body.

At one point, Glaukos and a few Trojans got a hold of Achilles and started dragging him towards the gates. Once gain, Glaukos was cursing uncontrollably. Above the grunts and yells of battle, you could hear his piercing banter: “Pull his legs, you harpy tits! Get his ass in the gates! Mother of Zeus, get out of our fucking way!”

Suddenly, Glaukos went silent. I turned to see that Ajax had just cleaved the top of his head off. -It was nasty.

Odysseus then dove into the Trojans pulling Achilles, and began to cut them down like weeds.

A few more attempts were made by the Trojans to retake Achilles’ corpse, but Ajax and Odysseus ruthlessly dispatched anyone that came within reach. I have to admit, It was an awesome sight.

Soon, a number of Trojans began to withdraw.

Then arrows started to fall.

The melee complete, us remaining Achaeans quickly found our horses and retreated.

I tried to help Odysseus and Ajax with Achilles' body, but even with arrows falling all around, they started an argument about who would take his body back. Luckily, Diomedes was there and they surrendered Achilles to him.

Apparently, Eumelus had recovered Achilles’ breastplate.

After we were out of range of Troy’s archers, our battered birthday envoy regrouped under Agamemnon’s direction.

We had lost a handful of men, but no one I knew.

Agamemnon said very little, but thanked both Odysseus and Ajax for recovering Achilles’ body. At that, the other generals muttered subdued praises.

Odysseus had a very serious look on his face, but I could tell he was pleased.

The only other words Agamemnon spoke were when we returned to the camp.

When we were about one hundred meters from the mass of confused, cheering men that waited to greet us, Agamemnon commanded: “Tend to your men.”

With that, Agamemnon and Diomedes charged through the crowd with the body of Achilles.

You could see the shock and horror spread through the Achaean soldiers like a wave.

By the time we had trotted back to our Ithacan camp, I saw some men were actually crying.

Looking impatient, Odysseus then ordered me to properly inform the men and rode off. -I knew he was headed to Agamemnon's tent.

The rest of the day passed slowly and painfully. With the aid of Polites and Misenus, I assembled the entire Ithacan contingent, and then related the story.

Oddly, the men refused to believe Achilles had fallen without a fight. In fact, I got the impression they thought I was making it up. -I had to repeat the story of his demise several times before they let me continue.

In contrast, the men were eager to hear about how Odysseus had protected Achilles’ body.

In that case, I was a bit guilty of bending the truth. -I didn’t really give Ajax the recognition he deserved.

Actually, I didn’t mention his part in the fighting at all.

I also told the men Odysseus was then absent because Agamemnon had requested his audience. To that, their heads nodded in approval.

It’s odd how people often embrace lies so much more willingly than truth.

Anyway, after dismissing the men, I spent the rest of the day in my tent.

The weather was beautiful, but it might as well have been raining.

Polites stopped by about an hour ago, but to his dismay, I didn’t feel like discussing the death of Achilles anymore.

I don't really want to talk about anything right now.

νϛ′

Macar brought Elpenor's seashells today. -That was fast.

Unfortunately, Elpenor was a little dissappointed with the number of shells that were broken.

I guess he did only want whole shells after all.

I told him it wasn't Macar's fault, and that he should've been more specific in the first place. Elpenor wanted to order more whole shells, but I told him to make do with what he had. -Luckily, Macar wasn't there when Elpenor picked them up.

Odysseus dropped by again today. He wanted to thank me for finding the belt. I guess he was pretty impressed with the fancy clashing-centaur buckle.

I told him about Epeius' collection, and how I bought the belt from him. Upon hearing that, the General responded: "Great! I'd love to have one of these for myself. I'm sure if he has so many, he won't mind parting with another!"

The general then asked me where he could find Epieus. -That poor bastard.

Anyway, before he left, Odysseus asked me if I'd go with him tomorrow when he delivered Priam's birthday present.

I appreciated the invitation, and I told him I would.

However, to be honest, I am a little concerned about the security. -I think we've been pushing our luck with these diplomatic missions.

νε′

I decided on a fancy belt for Priam’s birthday present.

At first I considered sending a meal cooked by Epeius, but Polites suggested it wouldn’t be fresh by the time it was delivered. He said even if it was, Priam would probably suspect poisoning and just toss it out anyway.

Polites thought a sword would be great, but that seemed too typical. The last thing I want is Odysseus to present Priam with his fifth birthday sword. -I decided against a shield for the same reason.

I thought some wine might be nice, but all of our wine is Trojan.

It was Elpenor who suggested the belt.

I had never noticed, but Elpenor told me that Epieus is somewhat of a belt connoisseur. -He says it’s all about the buckle.

This afternoon, Elpenor took me over to Epieus’ tent to have a look at his collection. -I was very impressed.

Epeius must have more than thirty belts. Unfortunately, he kept referring to them as his “little soldiers”. –To be honest, the way Epieus talked about his belts kind of freaked me out.

Anyway, I told Epieus about Priam’s gift, and he immediately insisted: “Yes! You simply must give the King of Troy a fine belt!”

However, when I inquired about one of his little soldiers, Epeius quickly changed his tune.

Luckily, I could draw on Elpenor’s loyalty to Odysseus to recruit his help.

It took a lot of persuasion, but we finally talked Epieus into selling one of his belts. It's pretty neat. It is composed of two bronze centaurs apparently clashing against one another in battle. -You link their bows to clasp the buckle.

I am sure I paid Epieus twice its value. Still, he seemed pretty pissed at Elpenor about it.

After acquiring the belt, I stopped by Odysseus’ tent to drop it off.

The General called me inside, but he didn’t get up to greet me. Actually, he was kneeling on the floor with some guy who was wearing white robes. Odysseus and this guy were facing each other and clasping their hands above their heads. The guy was humming loudly. I don’t think they were praying. -I’m not sure what they were doing.

Anyway, I told Odysseus that I had brought the belt. Without turning towards me, he told me to toss it on the bed.

On the way back to my tent, I ran into Achaemenides.

Looking very grave, he stopped me and whispered: “I think Dolon is a Trojan. Captain Eurylochus, I think the Trojans have Hermes!

I nodded, doing my best to look serious, and then told him to look into it.

I spent the rest of the day watching crab races. Apparently, betting on sand crabs is all the rage about camp right now. -One guy’s crab was named “Mighty Menelaus”.

νδ′

It was a pleasant day.

Early this morning, Macar came by for his weekly supply order.

In addition to their usual supplies, Elpenor and Epieus put in a special request for a few bushels of some specific kind of seashell.

I felt a bit uncomfortable asking for them. -Although Macar is our supply officer, I don't think gathering seashells qualifies as one of his responsibilities.

In any case, Macar didn't seem put-off by their request. In fact, he dutifully asked whether whole shells would do, or if fragments would be sufficient.

Although I didn't really know, I told him that fragments would be fine. -Macar is a hell of a guy.

He then invited me for a cruise on the Lil' Tethys.

This afternoon, Macar, Baius and I sailed up the coast to the north of Troy. They too had heard about the Percotian brothel, and we decided to have a look for ourselves.

We actually encountered her at sea.

The Percotian vessel was not much more than a large fishing boat topped with an oversized shack. I'd guess that she'd hold about forty crewmembers, but we only saw a handful of passengers on deck.

All but one of these seafarers was naked, and they were obviously proud of it.

As we cut pass them, one couple graciously demonstrated some creative fornification for us on her stern. -I had to laugh.

When I got back to camp, I found Odysseus waiting for me in my tent.

Luckily, he had just arrived.

Odysseus had come to dictate another letter to Penelope. It was his usual awkward drivel, but this time he finished it off with a surprise postscript:

P.S. My dear dear Penelope, I think that you will see your General soon!

Odysseus was obviously looking for a reaction as he dictated that last part. -I intentionally didn't give him one.

Of course, the Horse is going to be done soon. However, it seems to be such an incredible longshot. -I don't understand Odysseus' newfound optimism.

Anyway, after finishing the letter, the General inquired about the Horse. I told him that it was going fine, and that Epeius plans to be done within a couple of weeks.

Odysseus was very pleased.

Before leaving, the General asked me to arrange for a birthday present for Priam. Apparently, the King of Troy turns sixty in three days, and Agamemnon is planning to lead a small gift-bearing envoy as a show our goodwill.

As we have been trying to sack his city for several years now, I think we might be sending him mixed messages.

νγ′

I had a look at the horse again today.

I'm beginning to think Epieus and Elpenor might be going overboard. -They've tacked some brass plates on as 'hooves', and Epieus has started work on a huge saddle.

Epieus and Elpenor were obviously proud, and they should be. -The Horse looks great.

I'm just not so sure it needs to be so fancy.

Anyway, the Horse has no head as of yet, but the body is close to completion. Elpenor said they squeezed twenty-five guys in it the other day. -However, those guys weren't wearing any armor.

I told them they were doing a great job. Since they offered me lunch, I didn't mention the excessive frills.

Of course, lunch was fantastic.

On the way back to our camp, I ran into Polites and Euryalus.

Polites waved to me and said: "Eurylochus, I haven't seen you in three days!"

-He was waving the thumb and two fingers that remained on his right hand.

Polites thought it was hilarious.

Polites and Euryalus then told me of a Percotian ship that had docked a few miles north of Troy. It seems the ship has been functioning as some kind of floating brothel. Apparently, Euryalus took one of the ship's 'cruises' two days ago. -He had only good things to say about it.

I guess he didn't find our engagement with the Trojan's worth his while.

Surprisingly, Euryalus said the ship was servicing just as many Trojans as Achaeans. However, he assured me it was cool, and that there wasn't any 'friction'.

Anyway, Polites and Euryalus were planning on doing some seafaring tonight. They asked me to join them.

I thanked them, but declined.

νβ′

Well, that's over.

Yesterday afternoon, the battle sort of petered out.

Once again, the morning began with some more organized skirmishing, including a fight in which Achilles killed this Colonaen king named Cycnus by choking him to death.

That was kind of awkward.

Apparently, while sparring with the Champion, Cycnus got a good jab at Achilles' face with the hilt of his sword. -This pissed Achilles off so much, he dropped his own sword, pinned down the Colonaen and proceeded to strangled him.

No doubt, some of the Colonaen soldiers must have seen Achilles choking the life out of their king. However, they remained preoccupied with Achilles' Magnesian entourage and didn't come to his aid. -I can't say that I blame them.

It makes me wonder how much of Achilles' prowress is due to psychological advantage.

Anyway, after Achilles killed the guy, he abuptly quit the battle. Without expression, Achilles then walked though our line and back across the plain to our encampment.

He knew the entire army would be watching as he strolled back to the beachhead. -Of course, we did.

Not long after Achilles left, the frequency and number of clashes between the two armies quickly diminished. -Our Ithacans didn't even fight yesterday.

By lunch time, both Trojan and Achaean forces began to withdraw. By nightfall, no one remained on the plain.

As Odysseus and I lead our men back to the encampment, I saw Thoas and about seventy horsemen ride out from behind the ridgeline to our west. -I guess they never executed their surprise charge. I can't imagine why.

Anyway, that's how it ended.

I spent the whole of today looking for Hermes.

I know the goat is dead. However, out of conviction to duty, Achaemenides seems to have convinced Odysseus that hope still remains.

To show my gratitude, I dragged Achaemenides along with me as I inquired from camp to camp.

Of course, no one was the least bit concerned with our missing goat.

Out of embarrassment, I actually had Achaemenides do the talking, while I just stood by looking indifferent.

There has been no sigh of Dolon either.

I just reported the bad news to Odysseus. He seemed disheartened, but appreciative.

I failed to mention to the General that we didn’t inquire at the Salamisian camp. -I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

να′

Another day of battle.

Early this morning, the fighting began just as the day before. -Small skirmishes sporadically broke out along the line of our two armies, without a unified engagement every taking place.

By noon, these small clashes had further diminished into melees of not more than a dozen men from each army.

These scuffles were almost ceremonial in nature.

Most often, either a Trojan or Achaean commander would lead several of his best men out in between the two armies, and issue a challenge to the other side.

Sometimes the challenges were general, sometimes they were specific.

In response, a commander from the opposing line would gather a similar number of his own men and advance to battle in no-man’s-land.

The larger armies in proximity to these fights would shout in support of their respective comrades, however, they wouldn't otherwise get involved.

Late in the afternoon, Odysseus dragged me out with him to begin one of these fights. -Coincidently, Agamemnon was riding by when Odysseus became so motivated.

At that moment, it just so happened that I was taking a report from Odysseus’ goat-hand, Achaemenides. The poor sap got pulled into the scuffle too. As Achaemenides had just come from our camp, he had no weapon and wasn’t wearing any armor. -Some guy tossed him a spear after we got out there.

Anyway, some Ciconians answered our call. –The Ciconians have had a beef with Odysseus ever since we raided one of their settlements early in the war.

Our fight was quick.

Odysseus set the tone by killing two of their guys right off. I managed to stick a guy in the leg, but he smashed his shield in my face and knocked me down. By the time I got to my feet, he was gone.

Surprisingly, Achaemenides did more than hold his own. He broke his spear in one Ciconian’s back, then without pause, clubbed another down with the shaft that remained. He did so right in front of Odysseus. -I could see the General was impressed. It’s kind of sick, but I felt a bit jealous.

Anyway, the Ciconians didn’t fair well. We lost two guys. They lost seven. After about two minutes of fighting, they retreated back to their line.

Odysseus walked back to our army with his arm on Achaemenides’ shoulder. Agamemnon personally congratulated them both. Achaemenides was so overwhelmed he threw up at the Commander-in-Chief’s feet.

Fortunately, that made Achaemenides even more endearing to Odysseus and Agamemnon. The Commander-in-Chief began to invite Achaemenides to dinner, but caught himself and said: “Maybe that’s not such a good idea!”

Laughing heartily, Agamemnon continued off down our line.

These small battles continued until the sun set.

Today was kind of surreal. Although our armies were slowly killing each other throughout the day, we somehow adopted an unspoken agreement that was almost cordial.

Like the two nights before, we are again sleeping on the Trojan plain.

An update: Achaemenides just stopped by and finished giving me his report.

Apparently, Dolon is nowhere to be found. Achaemenides also added that the lamp his grandmother gave him has gone missing.

Just in case I couldn’t connect the dots, Achaemenides once again suggested foul play.

ν′

Well, it happened. The Trojans attacked. -I’m not sure it is over yet, either.

It’s been two days.

Early yesterday morning, our camp awoke to calls that the Trojans were leaving their gates.

They did so in a very grand manner, sounding horns and waving flags. Almost their entire army seemed to spill out of the city, spreading out to form a line across the plain.

Our camp's response was almost immediate. Under the direction of Agamemnon and the respective generals, our collective army quickly readied itself and formed into another broad line parallel to the Trojan’s.

This time, Odysseus joined us Ithacans. He rode into our camp with Nestor. Odysseus was wearing an especially fancy helmet, with a big red plume on the top. -The men were ecstatic.

As the General rode our line and rallied our troops, Polites and Misenus helped me to see that they were in proper order. Elpenor showed up too, but I ordered him to keep the build site secure. He started to protest, but when I gave him ten soldiers to command, he became very serious and gruffly ordered them to follow him off.

Although our armies gathered in sight of one another, the entire expanse of the plain separated us. They were under the walls of Troy, and we were in front of our encampment. -Nearly three hours of preparations took place before either side began to move.

It was us who advanced first.

I am sure we did so because Agamemnon didn’t want to fight within our camp again. And, on the other hand, I’d guess the Trojans would have little problem fighting near Troy. -If they stayed close enough, or drew back, the archers lining their city walls could lend them support.

Perhaps that’s why we halted our own progress after moving less than halfway across the plain.

Anyway, it’s a bit hilly between us and the city, and as we slowly approached, the Trojan army would intermittently disappear beneath the grass hills, and then come back into view again.

I was on horseback, along with Nestor, Odysseus and Misenus. -Our camp doesn’t have too many horses, and I decided not to bring the several we had left with us.

As we came over the final hill, I could see Agamemnon’s chariot pull out in front of our army. He rode about one hundred meters ahead, turned around, and stopped.

Shortly after, I saw Diomedes' chariot pull out of our line, and roll out to meet Agamemnon’s. Things were quiet for a few minutes. -It seemed the commanders of our two largest contingents were having a chat.

Then, from our far right, I saw two horses ride out to meet the chariots. One was carrying the Salamisian banner. -No doubt, it was Ajax.

Upon seeing Ajax, Odysseus turned to me and said: “I’ll be back.”

The General then left to meet Agamemnon’s party.

Odysseus took off so abruptly, I think he forgot Nestor was with us. I looked at the old guy, and I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do. Nestor looked at me and just nodded. I began to say something, but he interrupted me with: “I’ll be back, too!” and rode off to our western flank.

I think the Minyans were on our western flank. I’m not sure where Nestor's Pylosians were. -Not to our west.

Anyway, neither Odysseus nor Nestor came back. Shortly after Odysseus reached Agamemnon’s party, the Trojans began to advance.

The Trojan line slowly crept forward at first, almost imperceptibly. However, as they began to descend the gradual slope that surrounded Troy, their army began to pick up speed.

As the Trojans spilled into the lower ground ahead, it was possible to see the depth of their line. -The Trojans had about two-thirds as many men as we did.

Shortly after the Trojans began to move, our army seemed to involuntarily lurch forward. In fact, our line had advanced about fifty meters before I actually heard the horns instructing us to do so.

In a situation like that, there is little anyone can do but go for the ride. Misenus and I did our best to keep our petty officers coordinated, but with soldiers behind us and on either side, we mainly just tried to keep the Ithacans in one coherent group.

In fact, Eumelus was behind us, and he had some trouble keeping some of his over-zealous Pheraens from pouring into our line. By the time we had reached the Trojans, Eumelus was riding next to me and I was surrounded by more Pheraens than Ithacans.

Anyway, when we did hit, total chaos ensued. What started out as two clean lines of Trojans and Achaeans quickly dissolved into a lumpy stew of sporadic melees.

As I couldn't see far beyond my own fragment of the battle, it would be hard for me to comment on it as a whole. However, I do think our Ithacans performed as well as can be expected. And for that, Misenus and Macar deserve much of the credit. -Those guys were almost always visible, calling orders to hold our men together, and directing our fighting to where it was needed most.

A good majority of the battle consisted of me calling out trouble spots to Misenus or Macar, and then them persuading our men to fill the gap.

Polites was initially helping too, but he lost some fingers early on and had to withdraw.

The first day of the battle was long and intense.

At one point, Ajax and Diomedes were fighting near us. They were sparring with a small group of Phrygians, led by some Trojan in fancy armor. I don’t know who the guy was, but Ajax put a spear through his face.

After that, the Phrygians hastily fell back, followed by Ajax and Diomedes.

Our Ithacans fought noticeable harder after witnessing Ajax's feat.

Somewhat later, I saw Glaukos fighting not far from us. He was not only fighting viciously, he was cursing and shouting the entire time. I don’t know how he had the breath to do it.

Glaukos' Lycian contingent never came close enough to us, and for that I’m glad. Even at such a distance, his voracity was a bit unnerving. Despite the clamor of battle, I could see our men occasionally looking in Glaukos’ direction, straining to see who was causing such a fuss.

Even more so, Misenus later told me he that saw Priam and an entourage of Trojan champions fighting just behind Glaukos' group. I am very grateful we missed them. -I thought Priam’s presence might have given Glaukos such nerve.

Anyway, the day was long and bloody. However, our Ithacans casualties were surprisingly light, and I managed not to get shot in the ass, or any other place, for that matter.

As sun began to set, the Trojans began to fall further and further back towards the walls of Troy. Although a few brave Achaeans gave pursuit, most of our army remained where the battle began.

Surprisingly, the Trojans didn’t enter the city gates. Instead, they set up a makeshift camp just below the walls of Troy. Soon after, orders were passed along for us to do the same where we stood.

Last night I got very little rest. I spent it seeing to our men, accessing the casualties and preparing for the next day. I also had to send a contingent back to gather more supplies and to better guard our abandoned camp.

Odysseus didn’t appear until this morning. -Yet, when he did arrive, Achilles was with him.

Our men were elated to see our Achaean Champion, and they gave him a cheerful welcome. However, I think their enthusiasm was a little tempered by Odysseus’ late appearance. Unfortunately, I don’t think Odysseus noticed. -The General was too pleased being chummy with Achilles in front of our Ithacans.

Odysseus and Achilles ate breakfast with Misenus, Macar and I. All the while, the General related stories about the fighting yesterday. Apparently, Odysseus spent much of the day battling alongside the Champion. -As Odysseus was reveled in recollection of the combat, Achilles was his usual cool, silent self.

After breakfast, Achilles excused himself. -Odysseus stayed by default.

To make the General feel less dejected, I immediately reported to him about our man’s performance, and about our casualties suffered. -This brightened him up a bit.

Odysseus then asked for a horse, and ordered me to ready or men. -The action began soon after.

This day of battle was strange.

Today, the Trojans never left their camp en masse. Instead, they sent out small groups that would intermittently skirmish with a portion of our army, and then quickly fall back under the safety of their city walls.

As our line was several hundred meters in length, there was anywhere from one to about four of these smaller battles going on along our front at any one point in time.

Additionally, today’s scuffles were almost always lead by some very visible commanders and their respective contingents.

In fact, shortly after noon, our part of the line responded to an advance made by Glaukos and two generals leading a Mysian contingent. -Eumelus and his Pheraens fought along side us.

Once again, Glaukos was bitching like a harpy. -He almost finished Eumelus after killing his horse, but Odysseus intervened and shortly after sent the cursing Glaukos back on his way.

Later in the day we were on the periphery of another such battle brought on by the Dardanians, but I didn’t even get to swing my sword in that one.

After the sun set, things cooled off once again.

Like the day before, we are camped out, halfway into the Trojan plain that separates our beachhead from the city.

About an hour ago I rode back to our encampment to gather some things and to check on the Horse. Everything there is fine. I found Elpenor riding about with his entourage of ten soldiers, all mounted and fully armored. -Apparently, he has been taking his job very seriously.

Anyway, I grabbed my journal, a sleeping roll and some bread.

I am writing this by firelight under the open sky. General Odysseus is across from me, snoring loudly.

μθ′

No Trojan attack today.

However, something nearly as disastrous happened.

Hermes is gone.

Early this morning, Odysseus himself rushed into my tent and pulled me out of bed. -He was in a frantic state. At first, I ran for my sword and shield, thinking the Trojans were upon us.

However, the General began yelling: "He's gone, Eurylochus! How could he get out?! Hermes is gone! Have you seen him?! His gate was closed!"

When I assured Odysseus that I had no knowledge of the goat's whereabouts, he calmed enough to explain the circumstances of his disappearance.

Apparently, Odysseus had last seen Hermes yesterday evening. In fact, Odysseus had actually taken the goat for a walk along the beach last night, accompanied by one of his lady friends.

When Odysseus returned, he handed Hermes off to Dolon, one of the soldiers whom Odysseus appointed to look after the goat. Dolon reported to have brushed Hermes and promptly returned him to his pen.

Under the specter of a looming attack, finding a lost goat was low on my list of priorities. However, today it was apparently on the top of Odysseus’ list. Therefore, I dressed in an exaggeratedly urgency, and rushed with Odysseus to the scene of the crime.

There we found Dolon and Achaemenides, the other of Hermes’ two sentries. -Achaemenides looked like he was either going to, or just had vomited.

As we hurried back to his encampment, Odysseus explained to me what little there was to know about Hermes’ disappearance.

When we found Dolon and Achaemenides, they repeated the story.

When Dolon and Achaemenides awoke this morning, Hermes was gone. However, the gate to the goat’s corral was latched. Dolon and Achaemenides sleep in a tent next to Hermes’ enclosure. Yet, neither one claimed to have heard anything suspicious.

Even so, Achaemenides repeatedly stated that he thought foul play was involved. -I repeatedly nodded in agreement.

I have no idea why Odysseus thought I could better locate a goat than he. However, I took his genuine trust in my goat-finding abilities as a compliment. In appreciation, I scrutinized Hermes’ corral and the surrounding area more than any rational person would dare.

When I found some straw on the south side of Odysseus’ encampment, and suggested it to be a possible clue, the General looked sincerely hopeful.

I then suggested Dolon and Achaemenides canvass the encampment, beginning with the Argosian camp to the south.

I promised Odysseus I would get two more of our men to join the search.

He suggested we enlist more, but I reminded him an attack was expected. Becoming instantly more General-like, he sternly nodded in agreement.

I then recommended to Odysseus that he get more rest. He said he had little time for rest, and that he was off to visit with Agamemnon. He thanked me for my help, and saluting me, he turned and left.

I didn’t see the General again today.

I spent the rest of the day further preparing our troops and running more drills. -Most of the camps around us are doing the same.

Thoas, Ajax and Achilles rode by our encampment at one point this afternoon. -As they passed, Ajax gave me a wry smile.

μη′

No Trojan attack today.

I did almost get to see Ajax and Odysseus fight, however.

This morning, Odysseus dropped by again. There was a meeting between a handful of Agamemnon's closest commanders this afternoon, and he wanted me to be there to take notes.

I have to say, I was a bit flattered by Odysseus' invitation, and I happily accepted.

The meeting took place during lunch in Agamemnon's tent. -That was interesting enough. I had never been in Agamemnon's tent before. It isn't so much one tent, as it is a series of tents, all connected to one another.

Even more impressive, The Commander-in-Chief's place was filled with beautiful women. Well, maybe not filled, but there were at least five pretty maids that waited on us. -I think I'd almost forgotten what pretty women looked like.

In addition, as I was the only aide present, I got to sit at the table with all the other commanders.

There were about twenty Generals there. Besides Agamemnon and Odysseus, Ajax, Diomedes, Nestor, Emelus, and Machaon were present. Achilles was there too. He came in a bit late with an Aetolian General name Thoas.

I've never met Thoas before, but I'd heard a lot about him. Thaos is a young guy, and he’s leading one of the largest armies here. -He seemed pretty sharp.

Anyway, I sat between Odysseus and Nestor. Menelaus wasn't there. -No big surprise.

The food was great. However, Nestor doesn't have many teeth, and as he kept talking at me during lunch, half of his food ended up on my shoulder. -That kind of killed my appetite.

Besides that, when Nestor saw I had papers and ink, he started drawing all these maps and diagrams of the stuff he was babbling about. -He left me with almost no room for my notes.

After we had eaten, Agamemnon started things off by saying that the Trojans were preparing an attack. He said we had a new spy in Troy, and that this guy had told us that Priam was awfully pissed about what happened to Hector. (Some spy!)

Apparently, the King of Troy is planning a grand battle to finally settle this thing.

At that point, Achilles spoke up: "Well, let them bring it! Let's do it! Mother of Zeus, I'm sick of this beachhead!"

At that, Agamemnon frowned.

Odysseus then spoke: "Achilles, I admire your bravery, but don't forget, we are building the Horse..."

Ajax then interrupted: "Oh, fuck the Horse, Odysseus! Do you really think the Trojans are going to fall for that?!"

Odysseus sprang to his feet. So did Ajax. But, Agamemnon intervened.

Agamemnon waved the two to be seated and said: "Alright, let's be calm. We have no time for such talk.”

Agamemnon then looked at Achilles and said: “We know Priam comes for vengeance. He will come soon, and it will not serve us to be divided.”

Ajax then apologized to Agamemnon. However as he did so, he eyed Odysseus coldly.

The Commander-in-Chief then continued to explain what little information this new spy had given us, and how we might best plan for the oncoming attack.

Some of the generals asked technical questions. Thoas suggested we hide a calvary regiment behind the hills on our western flank. -Agamemnon agreed.

Still, it was more of an announcement than a strategic meeting. -The other generals weren't especially talkative after the outburst between Ajax and Odysseus.

After the luncheon was adjourned, I walked with Odysseus back to his tent.

I asked the General what he wanted me to do to prepare our men for battle, but he just kept asking me questions about the Horse.

Among other things, Odysseus asked me if I thought the Horse was too tall, whether I thought it looked too much like a Horse, if I thought the Trojans knew we were building it, and whether I thought that it would hold enough people.

I could tell he was upset by Ajax’s criticism. Perhaps Odysseus was also anxious because Agamemnon hadn’t gone so far as to actually defend the project. -Maybe the Commander-in-Chief has his doubts as well.

Anyway, I received no advice concerning the upcoming battle.

When I asked when he was going to inspect the men tomorrow, Odysseus looked confused and said: “Why? I am sure they look just fine, Eurylochus.”

I then reminded Odysseus that Agamemnon warned us the Trojans could come as early as tomorrow night.

He then nodded and said: “Oh, yes, yes. Sure, I’ll have a look at them, right after breakfast.”

As I turned to leave, the General stopped me: “Hey Eurylochus, could you send that Lieutenant Epeius over to my tent?”

I nodded and left.

I then went to tell Epeius that Odysseus wanted to discuss the Horse with him.

Elpenor was not pleased.

μζ′

Well, Priam got his son back.

Odysseus dropped by today to tell me that we should prepare for another Trojan attack.

I asked him if it was regarding Hector's body. He nodded.

I guess that Priam payed Achilles a visit late last night. However, this time Priam came alone, disguised as a beggar.

Odysseus said no one would have known about it if Achilles hadn't told him himself.

Anyway, it seems Agamemnon couldn't really "wash his hands" of the whole ordeal. -This morning, Agamemnon asked Odysseus if he would speak to Achilles about returning Hector.

When Odysseus asked Achilles about it, he said that he already did.

Apparently, the King of Troy was really desperate to get his son back, and after the lack of a funeral parade, he came to Achilles himself.

As Achilles related to Odysseus: "I was going to keep those bones for posterity, but when the King of Troy showed up dressed as a laundry wench, I thought, what the hell? So, I gave them to him. -The old bastard almost had a heart-attack when I tossed him his son in a sack!"

Even Odysseus seemed a little disturbed by Achilles' cruelty.

Anyway, the General asked about our men, and whether I thought they were ready to fight again.

I told him that I would run some drills, and check with Macar to see they were amply supplied.

Elpenor came in while I was talking to Odysseus. -Once again, he was struck dumb in the presence of the General.

Odysseus asked how the Horse was shaping up, and Elpenor said something like: Oh, the Horse looks great Sir! But not as great as your goat, Hermes!"

It didn't make any sense, and I immediately felt very awkward.

Odysseus just nodded to Elpenor and excused himself.

As the General walked out, he gave me a look. -I know what that look meant.

Elpenor has done such a great job with the Horse. I just wish he wasn't such a bumbling idiot in front of Odysseus.

I ran a couple of drills today, but the rest of our encampment seemed pretty quiet.

μϛ′

Bad news. -Achilles torched Hector's body.

The hunting crew returned sometime late last night. Apparently, Achilles was pretty pissed when he found Agamemnon had taken his trophy.

Some Magnesians told Achilles what had happened, and upon hearing this, our Champion decided that Priam was not going to get his funeral parade.

Not long before dawn, Achilles and a group of his Magnesian buddies stole Hector back from Agamemnon's camp.

Then, in somewhat of an ironic gesture of respect, Achilles burned Hector in a funeral pyre down by the beach.

This morning, I awoke to shouts that Agamemnon and Achilles were about to have a duel.

It didn't turn out to be true, but it wasn't far off.

When Agamemnon found that Hector had been stolen, he immediately suspected the Trojans. He even went so far as to suit up in his armor, and called for an envoy to be assembled.

As a handful of generals were readying with the Commander-in-Chief, Agamemnon got word that Achilles was burning Hector down by the shore.

Agamemnon and his generals rode to the beach like they were headed into battle. -However, it was too late. By the time they arrived, Hector had been reduced to a pile of ash and bones.

The Commander-in-Chief flipped.

When I got to the scene, Agamemnon was swinging a charred femur, screaming at Achilles at the top of his lungs: "What is this?! What the fuck am I going to do now?! Am I supposed to send Priam his son in a box?!"

"It was a hero's burial, Commander." Achilles responded calmly.

Agamemnon was furious: "A hero's burial?! You torched him in spite, Achilles! I let you stick him on a pole! I let you have your fun! But this?! Why did you have to do this?!”

Agamemnon pointed the leg-bone at Achilles: “You are going to bring a grave wrath upon us, Son of Peleus…"

"Couldn't you just let Calchas kick them around, Commander?" Achilles quipped.

"You sonofabitch!" Agamemnon shouted, tossing Hector's femur at Achilles.

Agamemnon then drew his sword. -Everyone gasped.

Nestor spoke up: "King Agamemnon, let us not forget ourselves. We are Achaeans. We are all Achaeans here."

At that, the Commander-in-Chief paused. He slowly sheathed his sword. -Achilles smiled.

It was quiet for a moment.

Agamemnon then spoke: "Achilles, you are the greatest warrior to walk this world since time remembered. However, your skill is matched only by your pride. You have brought us great victories, Achilles. Perhaps it is fitting that you should bring us great misfortunes as well. This is your doing, Son of Peleus. I wash my hands of this."

And with that, Agamemnon climbed onto his horse and rode back to his camp.

I didn't hear anything else of it today.

The sun set about an hour ago.

I have to imagine things are getting pretty tense inside the walls of Troy right about now.

με′

Priam visited us today.

He rode up with about ten Trojan generals, carrying a flag of truce. -Paris wasn't there.

It seems they were first headed towards Agamemnon's camp, but after catching sight of Hector on a pole, they rode over to the Magnesian camp instead.

Since my tent is close to Achilles' trophy, I was able to meet with the Trojan envoy when they arrived.

Priam was hysterical.

One of our generals named Machaon had the privilege of greeting them first.

Machaon attempted some sort of formal greeting. However, upon dismounting, Priam walked up to Machaon, grabbed him by the neck, and flung him to the ground.

Priam then looked up to his bloated son and started screaming: "Where is that sonofabitch Achilles?! Mother of Zeus, I'll have his eyes! Where is that bastard Achilles?!"

Although hundreds of Achaean soldiers had gathered around, not one would come within twenty meters of the Trojans. Even Machaon scurried away when he got to his feet.

As for the Trojan generals, I don't think they knew what to do either. Priam was the only one who dismounted. No doubt, the Trojans didn't want to start trouble. However, their king was on the ground crying...

It was Glaukos who spoke first: "You sick fuckers! How could you fuckers be so sick!? You put Hector on a fucking pole? What is this shit?!"

During Glaukos’ tirade, Agamemnon, Nestor and Ajax rode up.

Upon seeing their horses enter the circle, Glaukos yelled: "Who the fuck are...?" But, realizing it was Agamemnon, he cut himself short.

Seeing our Commander-in-Chief, Priam shouted once again: "Where is he Agamemnon?! Where is that bastard Achilles?! How could he do this?! How could you let him do this?!"

Without saying a word, Agamemnon climbed down from his horse, walked up, and embraced Priam. Strangely, Priam did not resist. -He just sobbed.

I then heard a sniffle from Nestor. -For some reason he was getting choked up too.

Anyway, in a very gentle tone, Agamemnon explained to Priam that Achilles was not present because he had gone hunting.

Agamemnon did order our men to take Hector down, however.

Hector had been raised up somewhat like a flag. When the rope attached to him was untied, he dropped quickly, making somewhat of a squishy thud. -Hector had ballooned to nearly twice his size.

Standing over the bloated body of Hector, Agamemnon announced that Priam’s son would be returned tomorrow, in a grand funeral procession fit to restore his honor.

At first, Priam wanted to take Hector immediately. However, Agamemnon said Hector deserved to be returned respectfully, and that preparing such a ceremony would take some time.

No doubt, Agamemnon really needed to wait for Achilles. Priam probably suspected this. However, I think the King of Troy realized he was in no position to bargain and soon he acquiesced.

Agamemnon and Priam shook hands, and Agamemnon swore that Hector would be brought back to Troy before the sun set tomorrow.

Priam thanked Agamemnon for his kindness. He then kneeled and kissed the puffy forehead of his dead son.

The Trojans left in silence.

Agamemnon ordered some unlucky men to carry Hector to his camp.

I heard a wheeze of gas come from Hector as these guys lifted him up. -One of the bearers vomited.

The rest of the day was uneventful.

I don’t think Achilles and the hunting crew have come back yet.

μδ′

We went sailing today. It was really nice.

Macar and Baius took us out just after breakfast. There was a cool, steady breeze across the water this morning, and the Lil' Tethys really cut through the waves.

Standing at the bow, I don't think Macar could have look more pleased. -I've never seen him with such a genuine smile.

Polites brought some bread and wine along, and we stopped off at one of the small rock islands for lunch.

While we were there, a Minyan ship sailed in. We threw some rocks and pissed them off. -It was a good time.

Hector's body is still hanging about. He's looking pretty nasty.

Some dogs were pulling on his foot yesterday, so they elevated him quite a bit. Now you can see him from most anywhere in the camp.

When Hector was first put up, he looked pretty ragged, like some old clothes or something. Now his skin is kind of shiny, and his belly is getting big.

I really wish they would take him down.

Odysseus came by and asked if I wanted to go hunting tomorrow. I guess Diomedes' pal Sthenelus has some dogs, and they want to take them out. He said that Achilles might be there.

I had to decline.

My ass was good enough for sailing. However, I don't think I am ready for a day on horseback just yet. Besides, Sthenelus is kind of a prick, and I hate the way Odysseus gets when he is around people like him.

I suppose it was a nice gesture, nonetheless.

Anyway, although he walked right by it, Odysseus didn't say anything about Hector's rotting corpse.

It kind of bothers me that we are hanging Priam's son on a pole just to make Achilles happy.

μγ′

The party is over, but Hector is still hanging there.

I hope Achilles takes him down soon. I can't leave my tent without looking at his bloody, naked corpse. -I don't think it becomes us Achaeans to do stuff like that.

Anyway, it was a pleasant day, nonetheless.

It seems that Elpenor and Epieus have worked out their differences.

Elpenor stopped by this morning to give me his report. Epieus waited for him outside. Elpenor was in a good mood, and I heard the two of them giggling about something when they left.

Polites came by after lunch, and he asked that I come down to the beach to have a look at something.

Apparently, Macar and one of our naval officers Baius, fashioned a small fishing skiff into a nice little sailing boat.

Although it will hold only about six people, it looks like a miniature bireme, complete with a carved nymph at the bow.

I was really impressed by their craftsmanship. Macar and Baius had even gone so far as to fix some bronze plates along the bulwark. On these, they stamped the name of their craft: Lil' Tethys.

Unfortunately, the sea was a bit too rough for sailing today. However, they promised to take us out tomorrow if the weather permits.

μβ′

Hector is dead.

His bloody corpse is hanging on a pole about a hundred meters from my tent.

My ass was feeling much better this morning, so I decided to go with Odysseus to watch Achilles challenge Hector. -I guess I'm glad I did.

The whole thing was full of pomp. Agamemnon sent some lackies ahead of us with a flag of truce so we could approach the wall without suffering a barrage of flaming incendiaries.

After a safe approach was procured, these lackies set up some tents for shade about two hundred meters from the city walls.

I sat with Odysseus, Agamemnon, Menelaus, Ajax, Nestor and their respective aides. -I was surprised to see Menelaus there. He was looking a bit pasty, and one of his staffers was always making sure to block his sun.

Anyway, Agamemnon’s staff brought lunch, and as the rest of our envoy setup, we enjoyed some bread, cheese and wine.

Oddly, I didn’t see Achilles ride up with our troupe.

Soon after we had set up, the huge gates of Troy cracked open. -To our surprise, King Priam stepped out, accompanied only by his sons Hector and Paris.

Paris stayed by the doors. However, Priam and Hector casually walked up to our little camp. Seeing them approach, Agamemnon stood up, waved, and politely called them over. -This was worth getting out of bed for.

After exchanging pleasantries, Priam asked: “King Agamemnon, why do you choose to camp so close to our city's walls? Are you just being neighborly? Or, have you grown tired of our beautiful shores?”

Agamemnon laughed and replied: “Ah, good King Priam, you know the shores of Troy are unmatched in their beauty! The white sands and clear waters of Troy have made our stay here all the more pleasant! But no, King Priam, let me be direct. As much as I would like to say our visit is only neighborly, alas, it is not true. In fact, we have come here on behalf of our champion Achilles, who possesses a mind set upon nothing but the demise of your brave and honorable son, Hector.

At that, Hector scoffed. But, Priam looked very serious and he waved Hector to be silent.

After a long pause, Priam then replied: “Good King Agamemnon, your words make me sad… However, you have come honorably, and you have spoken directly. The skills of your Champion and of my Son are the talk of Mt. Olympus, no doubt. In fact, it seems their swords are drawn towards each other by the Gods themselves. But, this is not for a Father or the Gods to decide. And so, I leave the choice to my son, Hector.”

Hector didn’t hesitate. “I’ll kick Achilles’ ass! Ah, just like I kicked his sissy boyfriend’s ass! Ha. Where is that sissy, ah?”

“Here I am, you sonofabitch!” shouted Achilles as he stepped out from a tent nearby.

Achilles had been disguised with a captain’s helmet and a cape. He dramatically cast both aside as he strode up to meet Hector.

Everyone was surprised by Achilles' sudden appearance. -However, Achilles had to walk quite a distance before he was in front of Hector, and I don’t think it looked cool as he intended it to.

When Achilles approached, Agamemnon placed his hand on Achilles shoulder and said: “King Priam, it seems we have a duel. We shall give your brave son rest before he fights, and we thank you for your hospitality until he is readied.”

“Ah, I’m ready now! I’ll kick his ass now!” shouted Hector, but Priam waved him silent once again.

Priam replied. “Give us until the sun is just as far setting as it has risen now, King Agamemnon. Then we will have our duel.”

Agamemnon nodded.

At that, Priam led a very agitated Hector back into the gates of Troy. -Achilles stared at him coolly.

Several of our men shouted: “Achilles! Achilles…”, but it faded out before it became a rally.

We went back to lunch.

Over the next few hours, Trojan commanders and aristocrats trickled out of the gates with their aides, setting up a small camp similar to ours but closer to Troy.

A small group of Magnesians groomed a large circular area in between the two camps to serve as an arena. A flag of Troy and one of the Achaeans was posted on either end. At some point after lunch, Achilles walked into the middle of the circle. He then knelt down and apparently began to meditate or pray.

Although many men nodded towards Achilles respectfully, my impression was that Achilles was just sitting there to draw as much attention to himself as possible. -Achilles looked too poised for meditation, and not nearly humble enough for prayer.

Anyway, Achilles “prayer” went on for the better part of an hour. By that point, I think it seemed a bit weird to everyone.

It wasn’t until Hector’s arrival was announced that Achilles got to his feet.

Once again, Hector arrived with Priam and his brother Paris. Priam and Hector were wearing armor, and Paris was wearing some sort of white flowing thing and a helmet.

Paris’ outfit was a bit strange, but what really got everyone’s attention was Hector’s armor. Hector’s breastplate had a big cheesy “Alpha” on it. -He was wearing Achille’s armor which he had peeled off the corpse of Patroclus.

The site of Hector wearing Achilles’ armor brought loud boos and jeers from our entire camp. When Achilles saw it, it drove him mad.

I couldn’t really do justice to the torrent of curses that flowed from Achilles upon seeing Hector, but suffice to say, I saw that Achilles’ verbal barrage made even Agamemnon wince.

Perhaps out of embarrassment, Agamemnon rose and without letting Achilles finish his salvo, he began to loudly announce the duel.

However, it was no use.

Still about fifty meters short, Hector broke free from his escort, and drawing his sword, charged Achilles.

Achilles, who was standing next to a rack of weapons, took a cheap shot and threw a javelin at Hector. -That missed. Achilles then grabbed a sword and a shield and stepped forward to meet Hector near the center of the ring.

At the same time, men from both Trojan and Achaean camps rushed forward to the edge of the dirt arena.

Agamemnon, who always gets the best seat, was forced shoved his way through generals and aides who lost their mind for duty in the excitement.

I followed in Agamemnon’s wake with Odysseus, Ajax and Nestor. Nestor was dispatching aides and even a few generals with his wildly swinging cane.

Just as I got within sight, Hector and Achilles clashed.

Now, in all seriousness, I have seen many fights in my lifetime. -I have never seen a fight like this one.

The duel between Achilles and Hector was in a league above all others. I know it sounds cheesy, but it looked as much of a dance as it did a fight. It was both brutal and elegant.

Apollo’s ass, that sounds lame, but it’s true all the same. -I feel honored to have witnessed it.

I couldn’t do it justice to describe the battle in full. However, Hector and Achilles slashed, jumped, rolled and punched like they were having some kind of physical debate.

Hector would launch into some brilliant series of attacks, pushing Achilles into a string of defensive maneuvers. Achilles would then retort, unleashing a volley of equally brilliant offensive moves, which would sending Hector into an impromptu but dazzling sequence of parries in response.

Watching this melee, I realized that Achilles probably had no intent to hit Hector with that initial javelin throw. More likely, it was just another way of cursing Hector before their sparring began.

Anyway, this majestic and suspenseful battle went back and forth for about ten minutes. -It then abruptly ended with Achilles’ sword running through Hector’s throat.

At first, there was total silence.

Achilles then yelled: “Yes! Yes! Yes!” and pumped his fist into the air.

This was punctuated by a shrill “Nooooooooooo!” from Paris.

Achilles, then quickly regaining his composure and walked out of the ring, followed closely by a group of his Magnesian pals.

Everyone else just stood and stared at the body of Hector, who was lying twisted, with Achilles’ sword still stuck in his throat.

Paris ran to Hector’s body first, followed slowly by Priam. The two knelt down, and all became silent once again.

After nearly a full minute, Agamemnon gently approached King Priam and his fallen son.

Agamemnon spoke in such a compassionate tone, that even I began to feel emotional.

Agamemnon placed his hand on Priam's shoulder and said: “There will never be another like him, King Priam. And as such, all of us will mourn this tragic loss. Today, we are without one of the greatest warriors to walk mortal soil, Hector, Son of Pr…”

Agamemnon was cut off by the thunder of horses.

Achilles and several of his Magnesian men charged into the circle.

In just a matter of seconds, Achilles tossed a rope loop about Hector’s leg, pulled it tight, and rode off, dragging Hector from Paris’ lap and across the plain towards our encampment.

As Achilles rode off, we could hear him shout: “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

This made things very uncomfortable.

Once again, Paris let out a shrill “Noooooooooooo!”

Priam screamed as well.

The entire Trojan contingent erupted in a clamour of outrage and disbelief.

At first, Agamemnon tried to calm Priam. However, the King of Troy retracted, and looking at Agamemnon with wild eyes, he screamed: “My sword. My sword! Where is my fucking sword!?”

At that, Agamemnon began to back off. We all did.

Initially, us Achaeans drew back slowly. -Then, arrows started to fall.

One of Nestor’s captains standing right next to me got it in the neck.

It was only seconds before we were in a full retreat.

Lucky for me, Odysseus suggested I ride up due to my wound. Odysseus actually helped me to get into the saddle. -He then ordered me back to the beach.

As I rode away, I saw Odysseus, Ajax and Agamemnon directing the Achaean withdrawal.

Later, I heard we lost about ten guys, including a Boeotian general named Ascalaphus.

Excepting the Boeotitans, there's a general sense triumph about the army tonight.

Achilles ‘posted’ Hector’s body just outside the Magnesian encampment, where the celebrations are nearly out-of-control.

Once again, Achilles’ actions must have really pissed off Agamemnon.

Although Agamemnon has command of this army, Achilles has command of its heart. The Commander-in-Chief must know this. -That must piss him off all the more.

Polites just came in. -He wants to know if I think five bottles of wine is too much for one of Hector’s sandals.

μα′

Odysseus dropped by today.

He sheepishly asked me how I had been doing, and how my butt was feeling.

I assured him that my ass was fine and thanked him for the grapes.

The General then told me that Achilles is going to confront Hector. -A large entourage of commanders intends to walk up to the gates of Troy tomorrow morning where Achilles will announce his challenge.

Odysseus asked if I wanted to accompany them.

Knowing this was Odysseus’ way of apologizing, I told him that it sounded like fun, but I needed to wait to see how my ass was feeling.

Odysseus smiled meekly and nodded.

The General then related a story about how Hermes had gotten out of his pen during the battle the other night. -Odysseus thought Hermes was lost for good, but the next morning, some Pheraen soldiers discovered a helmed goat munching on their provisions.

Anyway, I guess the soldiers concluded this winged-helmet-wearing goat was some sort of portent, and dutifully brought Hermes to their young general, Eumelus. -Like his men, Eumelus was impressed by the strange helmed goat, and he immediately delivered Hermes to Agamemnon.

However, Agamemnon was familiar with Odysseus’ prize, and when he saw the goat, he smiled and asked where Eumelus had met The Mighty Hermes.

Apparently, Eumelus is more a general of pedigree than one of merit.

Hearing Agamemnon refer to the goat as The Mighty Hermes, he shouted: “In the form of a goat!? Forgive me, Son of Zeus! How could I have been so blind?!” And with that, Eumelus dropped to his knees and bowed deeply to the goat.

This surprised Agamemnon, but pleased him greatly.

Agamemnon accompanied Eumelus to Odysseus' tent when he returned Hermes. -To Odysseus’ delight, the Commander-in-Chief insisted Eumelus not only stay for lunch, but that he fully recount his own idiocy for their entertainment.

-It made me laugh.

μ′

I spent most of the day lying on my stomach.

Odysseus still hasn’t stopped by. -He did send some grapes over with Misenus, however.

Attached was a note:

Dear Eurylochus,

I hope that your butt is better. That is really really terrible. It made me really sad to hear that your butt was hurt. I have been really busy. Sorry I have not visited you. I hope that you like the grapes.

Your General,

Odysseus


Amazing. It’s obvious the General penned this one himself. -I guess I could take that as a sign of sincerity.

Anyway, I have a feeling that Odysseus feels a bit guilty for blowing me off right before the battle. No doubt he wanted to be seen leading the charge with Achilles. -Especially since Ajax was there.

Whatever.

In other news, Elpenor and Epieus are having troubles.

Elpenor stormed into my tent today screaming: “I can’t do it anymore! I just can’t work with that pompous asshole. I won’t do it. Who does he think he is?!”

When I calmed Elpenor down, he explained that "the pompous asshole" was Epieus. According to Elpenor, Epieus has been acting like “Zeus’ gift to men” ever since he won the Patroclus Honor Games boxing match.

I tried to change his mind, but Elpenor was adamant. When I reminded Elpenor his duty was an order and not a request, tears welled up in his eyes and he started ranting about how I had no idea what he was going through.

Elpenor screamed he would prefer “a thousand court martials” to stepping onto Epieus’ build site again.

At that, I realized Elpenor was not ready for rational discussion. I told him to take a few days off, and that I would get back to him.

I’m sure it was just a spat.

Ironically, Epieus stopped by later this evening looking very calm. Epieus coolly explained that he and Elpenor had some disagreements, but he assured me it would have no effect upon the Wooden Horse construction.

Epeius then gave me what should have been Elpenor’s daily report in his usual mouth-breathing manner.

I really need to get those two back together again.

λθ′

I got shot in the ass.

Actually, the arrow stuck me in the back of my thigh, but everyone prefers to say that I got shot in the ass.

The Trojans launched a major attack against us the other night.

After hearing the alarm, I rushed out to see the dark outline of about ten-thousand soldiers and a few hundred horsemen charging across the plain towards our camp.

This was Hector's revenge.

I immediately sent the order for our men to form a line, and ran to report to Odysseus. -I met the General halfway.

Odysseus was already on his horse and was riding with Achilles, Ajax and Diomedes towards the front of our camp.

I called to the General as he rode by, but he just gave me a nod and kept riding towards the Magnesian line.

By the time I got back to our Ithacans, Polites and Misenus were struggling to get the men into formation. It was frantic, and most of the men weren't fully armored. -I saw one guy with nothing but a spear and a helmet.

As our encampment was part of the front line, a stream of soldiers from other camps were pouring in and adding to the confusion.

After quickly grabbing my own sword and shield, I ran up next to Polites. -That's when the Trojans hit us.

They hit us hard.

More like a wave than a group of men, I watched the Trojans crash into our meager defense and sweep it backwards. After a few seconds, a wall of swords, shields, spears and men just swept over Polites and I.

I was immediately knocked off my feet and swept back several meters, but I wasn't hurt. Grabbing the nearest arm, I pulled myself up. When I nodded to thank the guy, I realized he was a Trojan.

He was as surprised as I was. -Maybe a bit moreso, because I ran him through before he could react.

That was the first Trojan I've struck since this war started.

Well, I guess I felt emboldened, because I then yelled something cheesy like: "Glory to Ithaca!" and charged forward into to fray.

That's when I got shot in the ass.

I've heard stories where men are seriously wounded in battle, only to discover it much later. I've been told the rush of battle can mask pain. -I didn't have that experience.

When I got shot, I felt it right away. Dropping like a rock, it was all I could do not to cry like a baby.

After that, I was pretty much a spectator. -However, I did finish one Trojan off who fell down next to me.

In retrospect, I was actually pretty fortunate, because soon after I fell, a group of our archers decided to set up around me. Teucer and Meriones were there. Those guys are amazing. -I would bet those two killed more than forty Trojans throughout the night.

At one point, I even saw Hector ride by. Well, he didn't actually ride by, -Teucer killed his horse. Hector was visibly pissed. Without missing a beat, he turned and started chopping through the crowd to get at Teucer. All the while, Teucer was shooting arrow after arrow at him.

Somehow, Hector managed to evade Teucer's barage. Maybe Teucer was too freaked out. In any case, before he could get close enough to our archers, Ajax and a group of his men swarmed Hector and his fellow Trojans.

In frustration, Hector picked up a rock and threw it at Teucer. It broke Teucer's hand.

Anyway, the battle lasted until dawn, at which time the Trojans made a fairly ordered retreat.

I can't really say that either side won. -Both of us lost a lot of men.

I spent yesterday in a medical tent. Instead of pulling the arrow out, the medic said it had to be pushed through. Mother of Zeus, I would rather have been shot again. I can hobble around a bit, but it still hurts like hell. -I am writing this lying on my stomach.

I haven't seen Odysseus, but Polites stopped by and told me the General had visited our camp. He just asked Polites a few questions about our casualties and then he disappeared.

Polites told Odysseus I was wounded, but I guess the General didn't feel it necessary to visit his first-in-command. -That guy is such a self-centered prick.

Ironically, I heard Achilles and Hector never met on the field of battle. Apparently they couldn't find one another.

I wonder if Hector will let things be. -I wish he would have just dropped by and asked for a duel.

λη′

Another pleasant day.

I can’t imagine why we still haven’t heard from the Trojans. I thought Hector would be quick to call on Achilles after the death of Lycaon.

The general consensus around camp is that Hector hasn’t shown up because he’s too afraid to fight Achilles. -I don’t buy that.

I think Hector’s ego wouldn't allow for such public cowardice. No, something else must be going on.

Agamemnon must think so too. -The guard is still doubled.

Anyway, I didn’t do very much today.

Earlier in the day I walked over to the build site and chatted with Misenus for a while. Now that the Horse is staring to take shape, it's going to be harder to keep it a secret. Just looking at it, it is pretty obvious the four pillars are the legs of something.

It didn’t really occur to me when we started to build it, but the whole strategy of this Horse could be ruined by a simple leak to the wrong person.

I am going to have to talk to Polites about this. -We need to take his bullshitting campaign more seriously.

After scamming a lunch off of Epieus and

Shit, the alarm just sounded. -More later.

λζ′

Oddly enough, there was no sign of Hector or any other Trojans today.

Macar delivered Hermes' new helmet this morning, however. I have to admit, it looks fucking hilarious. I can’t even look at that goat without laughing.

I fastened the helmet onto Hermes and brought him over to Odysseus’ tent. When I arrived, the General was having lunch with Machaon and Podalirius, two brothers who are leading the Messenian army.

Odysseus thought Hermes’ helmet was fantastic. He even gave me a block of cheese to give to Macar. -I think the Messenian brothers were a bit confused.

Anyway, the General finally agreed to take the goat off my hands. Odysseus ordered a few soldiers to construct a small pen for Hermes next to his tent. He charged two of our men with the duty of seeing to it that Hermes was well cared for.

Later in the day I took a walk with Polites and a couple of our men south along the beach. These guys told Polites they had discovered a pretty good swimming hole.

The swimming hole was a basin hollowed out of a rocky ledge next to the water. The seawater flows into the basin from under the cliff, and it keeps the water inside constantly sloshing about.

It was a bit creepy jumping in at first, but once inside, the wave action made for a good time.

After a couple of hours, a few of our laundry women came by. None of them were particularly pretty, but we had a good time flirting with them nonetheless.

We spent the rest of the afternoon just swimming and chatting with these ladies. -I felt like I was fifteen years old again.

λϛ′

There was some fighting near Troy today.

Euryalus was there and he told Polites all about it. Euryalus called it a blood-bath.

Apparently, early this afternoon Achilles and Diomedes decided to head up to the village on Troy’s border to stir up some trouble. They took about thirty men with them.

As luck would have it, Achilles and his crew happened upon a group of Trojans who were trading with some of the villagers.

According to Euryalus, Achilles didn’t even bother to call a charge before he just rushed in.

Achilles caught the Trojans next to the small river that runs behind Troy.

Euryalus said before either side knew what was happening, Achilles had cut some Trojan sap clean in half.

He said Achilles was screaming stuff about Patroclus, but it didn’t really make any sense. Euryalus swears that Achilles said something like: “Patroclus was my horse father!” a bunch of times.

Anyway, all of our guys ran after Achilles. Some of the Trojans ran into the river, and some stayed to fight. He says that there were about fifty Trojans. About half of them fled when Achilles brought down the first guy.

When the rest of the Achaeans arrived, Achilles paused and Euryalus said there was a brief moment where both sides just stood looking at each other.

But then this Trojan guy named Lycaon dropped his sword, and walked up to Achilles. Euryalus said that Lycaon kneeled in front of Achilles and started to say something like: “Brave Achilles, why do you…”, but Achilles just casually cut his head off.

At that, all of the Trojans ran into the river.

I guess Achilles and everyone else jumped in after them.

Euryalus claims Achilles killed about ten guys, Diomedes killed two, and some guy named Canopus killed one.

Not one of our guys was hurt. However, Euryalus said Achilles almost drowned himself. I guess that Achilles isn’t a very strong swimmer, and some poor Trojan almost pulled Achilles down with him as Achilles was chopping him up.

There was the usual revelry about camp tonight.

I have to wonder what Agamemnon thinks of Achilles’ exploit this time around.

No doubt the Trojans are going to have an answer for this one. -Lycaon was Hector’s half-brother.

λε′

Odysseus sent word that he wanted a tour of the build site today.

I brought Hermes over to his tent and escorted them there.

When we arrived, Elpenor and Epieus were in the middle of a fight. Not a physical one, just a shouting match.

Right as we walked up, Elpenor screamed: “Well, maybe next time I get my tunic stitched, I’ll have lunch with the tailor. Hell, my sandals look a bit worn! Maybe the cobbler is free for dinner!”

I cleared my throat loudly.

Elpenor whirled around angrily, but upon seeing the General, he gasped and stammered something like: “Sir! Oh, General, welcome… You’re welcome. I mean, welcome to the build site! Oh, sorry Sir, my deepest apologies.”

Odysseus just nodded slowly and eyed Elpenor.

Epieus on the other hand, coolly walked up and greeted the General.

He bowed and said: “General Odysseus, it’s an honor to have you with us.”

Odysseus was much more pleased with Epieus’ greeting, and he asked if Epieus would show us around the site. -Epieus respectfully obliged.

Despite their apparent tiffs, Epieus and Elpenor have been doing a great job with the Wooden Horse project. The entire site is well organized, with all the excess materials neatly stacked about the perimeter.

Even their men looked sharp and purposeful, and they calmly but efficiently moved about.

Misenus told me that Elpenor and Epieus have been making lunch for their workers for some time now. Sometimes when they have extra, they treat Misenus and his guys too. -That would be enough to keep me happy.

The Horse looks great. The base and wheels have been attached, and the four pillars that will be its legs are almost complete. The legs aren’t actually just pillars either. They bend at the knees just like a horse. One of the front legs even comes forward a bit to suggest somewhat of a prance.

Odysseus was visibly impressed, and not just with the Horse.

It was obvious that he was very pleased with Epieus. Epieus had not only done first-rate work, but he also knew how to stroke the General’s ego.

As Epieus described the project, he managed a tone that implied that Odysseus, but likely no one else, could understand what he was talking about. -Epieus is a smart guy.

Anyway, Elpenor and Epieus made us lunch after the tour. -It was delicious.

After lunch, Odysseus pawned Hermes off on me once again. He asked if I could keep him until his winged helmet was done. For some reason, I agreed.

I’m a bit disappointed in myself.

λδ′

There was a hell of a storm today.

Just about everyone I talked to said something like: "Oh, Poseidon
must be angry!" or "Poseidon must not have slept well last night!"

Early this morning, Calchas was shouting and throwing fish bones and empty crab shells into the water. -I guess he figured the King of the Sea wanted them back.

Whatever the reason for the storm, the rough waves busted up one of the Minyan ships that was sailing in today.

I spent the better half of the afternoon down at the beach, trying to salvage what wood we could. -No doubt, I am going to get sick.

Odysseus never stopped by.

Thankfully, Polites offered to help direct our Ithacan soldiers. For some reason, he thought the whole ordeal was fucking hilarious.

At one point, some poor Minyan saps were trying to get a donkey out of the wreck and into their rowboat. When a huge wave sent them and the donkey over, Polites almost fell down laughing.

I don't think it made for a good example in front of our struggling men.

Anyway, we did manage to get most of the lumber onto the beach.

The Minyans lost one guy.

Except for those of us battling the surf, the rest of the army stayed in their tents today.

When I got home, I found that Hermes had chewed through his tether. -The bastard ate one of my sandals.

λγ′

Well, today concluded the Patroclus Honor Games.

There were a few events in the morning, including wooden-sword-dueling which ended in a battle between Diomedes another guy named Ajax, King of the Locrians. Diomedes won.

After this morning’s events were done, everyone gathered in the center of camp where Agamemnon and Achilles made speeches.

Agamemnon publicly kissed Achilles ass and thanked him once again for coming back. Achilles just rambled on for some time about Patroclus. -What he said didn’t really make any sense.

I guess public speaking is the one thing that Achilles doesn’t excel at.

Anyway, a big feast followed these speeches. -The celebration continued for the rest of the day.

Later, Odysseus brought Hermes by and asked if I could get some kind of special collar or something made for him. I jokingly suggested a winged helmet. He thought that it was a great idea.

I put in an order for one with Macar. -He just rolled his eyes and nodded.

We had a great time at the fire tonight. Polites, Misenus, Elpenor, Epieus, Macar, Diomedes and Odysseus were there. Achilles even stopped by for a while to thank Diomedes for organizing the games.

You should have seen the look on Epieus’ face when Achilles sat down. -I think he almost fainted when Achilles congratulated him for winning the boxing tournament.

Elpenor didn’t seem as impressed with Achilles. -He loudly excused himself while Achilles was still talking.

When it was pretty late, one of Diomedes Argosian pals, Sthenelus, stopped by and told Diomedes and Odysseus he found some ladies that wanted to meet them.

Odysseus left Hermes with me.

There's a goat standing in the corner of my tent right now. -He's chewing on a belt.

λβ′

Today was a day of battles.

Wrestling is pretty big among us Achaeans, and a lot of guys entered the wrestling competition. The event began early this morning and went well into the evening. I think that there were more than six-hundred entrants.

Anyway, early this morning Polites, Misenus and I watched Odysseus wrestle in the first heat. He was pitted against this Minyan supply officer. I felt bad for the guy. The match didn’t last for more than two minutes, and I think Odysseus broke his ankle.

I don’t know what that Minyan guy was thinking.

After that, we headed over to the boxing competition. When we got there, Epeius was just finishing off his first opponent. Mother of Zeus, that guy is fast.

Epeius was matched with this burly Spartan guy that was almost twice his size. When we arrived, Epieus was tenderizing the poor guy’s face with a brutal efficiency. –The whole time Elpenor was cheering like a teenage girl.

Euryalus fought next. His opponent was a Corinthian archer. It was a long match. Euryalus had the advantage of size, but the archer was much more skilled. Finally brute strength won out and Euryalus put the Corinthian down.

We had lunch after that.

Following lunch, we headed back watch more boxing. As luck would have it, Epieus was matched with Euryalus in the second heat.

While the two were warming up, Elpenor was laughing and taunting Euryalus mercilessly. However, after seeing what Epieus had done to that Spartan, Polites, Misenus and I just left Euryalus alone. -We pitied him too much.

Euryalus was pulverized. It was kind of sick.

The match went much longer than it should have. Epieus was just drawing it out. Euryalus was fighting as hard as he could, but Epieus was just toying with him the entire time.

Every once in a while, Euryalus would get what looked to be a good hit, but it would invariably be followed by the quick pat-pat-pat of Epieus’ fist in his face.

Elpenor was enjoying it immensely. –Maybe a bit too much.

Anyway, Polites finally yelled: “Just finish it, Epieus!”

At that, Epieus looked at Polites, nodded, and planted about seven fast punches to Euryalus’ nose. –He dropped like a rock.

I don’t think that Euryalus is going to be doing Epieus impersonations anymore.

Epieus went on to win the boxing competition.

After Euryalus’ defeat, we headed back over to watch more wrestling. We stayed there the rest of the day.

Many of the commanders had entered the wrestling competition, and it was great to see so many big egos pitted against each other.

One of the best matches was between Ajax and the Pheraen King, Emelus. That match went on for the better part of an hour. Finally, Emelus was disqualified for biting Ajax’s foot.

However, the last battle was the most dramatic. -That one was between Odysseus and Ajax.

Some of the men thought the last match was a bit unfair. Ajax had recently wrestled in an extended match with Emelus, whereas Odysseus was able to finish his previous match quickly and had had some time to rest. -Either way, Ajax put up a hell of a fight.

I’ve been aware of the tension between Ajax and Odysseus ever since the conception of the Wooden Horse. However, when Odysseus accused Ajax of selling horses to the Trojans, their animosity became public knowledge.

Due to this tension, the match drew a large crowd. Due to the large crowd, both Ajax and Odysseus were determined to do their best.

It was an exciting fight. Both men are similar in stature, and neither seemed to maintain an upper hand for any length of time.

Each time the judge separated them after they tumbled out of the arena, both were very civil towards the other, bowing before they went at it again.

Still, their involuntary curses and the veracity of their fighting betrayed these niceties. It was obvious to everyone that each general wanted to kill the other.

After nearly an hour of struggling, Agamemnon stepped in and declared it a draw.

By that point, we had heard one of Ajax’s fingers snap, and Odysseus’ gushing nose had painted both of the men dark red.

I think Agamemnon made the right call.

Tomorrow is the last day of the Patroclus Honor Games.

λα′

Good fun.

Today started with a big breakfast feast and some announcements from Agamemnon that kicked off the Patroclus Honor Games.

Even though everyone knows these games are just a way to kiss Achilles ass and thank him for coming back, the entire army is very happy about it. -However, it’s strange. Although Achilles wanted these games, he isn’t competing in them.

Anyway, there were a handful of events today, everything from swimming to chariot racing.

The most entertaining competition of the day was the javelin throw. -This was because there were only two entrants: King Agamemnon and a lieutenant named Stentor.

Apparently, Stentor was the first to sign up for the event. Unfortunately for Stentor, Agamemnon was the second.

As no one in their right mind would willingly compete against the Commander-in-Chief, Agamemnon’s was the last name on the list.

It was hilarious.

The javelin toss was the first event scheduled, and nearly the entire army was watching.

Diomedes started it off with a very ceremonial announcement.

He said something like: “The first event of the Patroclus Honor Games is to be The Throwing of the Javelin! To take part in this honorable competition we have Agamemnon, King of Argos, Commander of the Achaeans! …As his opponent, lieutenant Stentor …of the Arcadians!

The men went wild. Many were cheering. Many were laughing.

Straws were drawn and Agamemnon had the first toss. It was pathetic. Although the Commander-in-Chief's javelin went straight and stuck into the ground, it couldn’t have gone more than fifteen meters.

Stentor’s problem was immediately obvious. It would be suicide to beat the Commander. However, Agamemnon had made it hard to lose.

As Stentor stepped up, the army fell silent.

When Stentor was handed his spear, Polites yelled: “Kick ass, lieutenant!”

Stentor winced. He took a few shaky steps, and he threw. -Stentor’s javelin fell just a few centimeters behind Agamemnon’s.

Diomedes immediately shouted: “Agamemnon, King of Argos, Commander of the Achaeans, is our Champion of the Javelin!

At that, the Commander-in-Chief yelled: “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

The crowd went wild again.

Stentor smiled meekly. -He looked a bit pale.

Anyway, there were several other events held today including archery, running, discus and the chariot race.

Meriones won the archery contest. Teucer came in second place.

Odysseus won the foot race. I have to say, the General is very fast on his feet. Something like fifty guys entered, and it wasn’t even close. You could tell that Odysseus was very pleased. He won a goat and named it Hermes. -Apparently, no one is allowed to eat Hermes.

Nestor didn’t ride in the chariot race. -Diomedes won it.

Polites got third place in discus. -They gave him a duck. We had it for dinner.

Odysseus and Hermes stopped by our fire tonight. He was in good spirits, and both he and Hermes drank a lot of wine.

Tomorrow is wrestling and boxing. -Those events should be interesting.

λ′

Today was pleasant enough.

The weather was nice, and the camp was abuzz with preparations for the Patroclus Honor Games. -That’s what they are calling them.

It might not be such a bad idea.

There are a bunch of events scheduled, and the men are very excited about it. -There is definitely a new air of optimism around camp now that Achilles has returned.

Diomedes and the Argosians are in charge of most of the planning for the Games, and today they set up tables where anyone could register for events.

Most of the generals signed up for one event or another. Unfortunately, that seemed to discourage a lot of the men of lower rank. No one wants to beat a general.

As a result, this will likely turn out to be an ego-fest for the army’s commanders.

Polites, Euryalus and I took a walk over to the sign-up tables this afternoon. I didn’t enter any of the competitions.

I suppose that it would be fun to try some archery, but a Cretan captain named Meriones and this Salamisian guy named Teucer had already signed up. These guys are two of our best archers, and they were standing around the table, acting like a couple of assholes. Meriones and Teucer were giving a hard time to anyone that added their name, and I didn’t really feel like dealing with it.

Polites signed up for the discus throw. -He is pretty good at it.

Looking at the lists, I saw Odysseus had registered for wrestling and running. Ajax’s signature was a few names below his in the wrestling competition. -I wonder if the General knows.

While we were there, we saw Nestor, arguing with some of the Argosian attendants. He thought there should be a debate event in the Games. The Argosians kept explaining that it was an athletic competition only, but Nestor wouldn’t hear any of it. The old guy just kept repeating: “A great soldier exercises his body and his MIND!”

Seeing that the Argosians wouldn’t budge, Nestor grew frustrated, and said “Fuck you, then! I’m signing up for the chariot race!” For the seventy year-old general, that would be suicide. The Argosians looked really stressed out. They didn’t want Nestor to sign up for a chariot race, but at the same time, they couldn’t just create a debate competition for him. –It was pretty funny to watch, but I sort of felt sorry for those guys.

Anyway, while we were watching the action, Elpenor and Epieus came up.

Seeing the two, Euryalus waved and called: “Hello Elpenor!” in one of his Epieus impressions.

Elpenor almost freaked, but Epieus grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the boxing registry.

Epieus signed his name and called to Euryalus: “Hey Euryalus, look, there is space for your name right below mine! Eur-y-al-us… how do you spell that?”

Polites and I started laughing, and Euryalus had little choice. He had to sign up. -Epieus might be a fop, but he's in very good shape. I think Euryalus might be in some trouble.

The rest of the day went by quietly.

There is a big funeral pyre for Patroclus down at the beach right now. Agamemnon and a bunch of the generals are making speeches in his honor.

They have a pig roast too, but I didn’t really feel like going.

κθ′

Mother of Zeus. -The drama.

Odysseus dropped by this morning to tell me that we are going to have some kind of athletic-tournament-funeral for Patroclus.

He then related a very strange story:

Apparently, Agamemnon intended to have a regal homecoming for Achilles yesterday evening. -However, that party never took place.

Odysseus said that before the party, Agamemnon left Achilles within his own personal bathing tent, to be retained by a large host of beautiful women.

However when Agamemnon and a group of generals came to retrieve him, Achilles was no where to be found. After a search, they found Achilles on the beach, clutching Patroclus’ unearthed corpse.

Diomedes felt terrible, and falling to his knees, he begged Achilles for forgiveness.

In response, Achilles tossed a human head into Diomedes lap and said: “You’re welcome.”

It’s true.

I guess that Achilles was clean long before dinner, and despite the protests of his bathing companions, he went off in search of Patroclus.

However, once Achilles found that Patroclus’ tent was gone, he panicked and stormed off to Diomedes’ tent to get answers.

Diomedes wasn’t there. -He was with Agamemnon, preparing for the feast.

However, Achilles did happen upon Diomedes’ lady-friend Cressida, -being serviced by a Trojan named Troilus.

In an exchange for Troilus’ life, Cressida promptly told Achilles that Patroclus was dead and buried.

Unfortunately for Troilus, Achilles didn't think that news of Patroclus’ death made for a good trade.

Anyhow, Odysseus said that there was a lot of drama at Patroclus’ grave.

Diomedes related to Achilles the death of Patroclus, and in turn, Achilles told Diomedes of the infidelity of Cressida.

Although Achilles wanted to immediately attack the Trojans, Diomedes begged Achilles to postpone his revenge, and pledged to first hold a hero’s funeral for Patroclus.

Perhaps because he felt bad for Diomedes, Achilles accepted, and suggested that it be an athletic competition.

These funeral games start the day after tomorrow.

-I don’t even know what to say.

κη′

Achilles is back.

This morning I awoke to a bunch of shouting coming from the beach. Achilles’ and his Magensian crew sailed in just before dawn.

It was like a goddamned holiday festival. Guys were running all throughout camp shouting things like: “Achilles is back! Our champion has returned!”

The men’s unfettered glee was a little unnerving, bordering on pathetic. Regardless, I was guilty of rushing to the beach with the rest.

I got there just in time to watch the Magensians finish unloading their boat. -They had been working on stacking a pile of treasure in front of Achilles, who was just staring at them, looking very stoic and cool.

It was obvious that Achilles and his men had spent their vacation raiding some seaside villages.

After the Magnesians had finished piling valuables at Achilles feet, he nodded with approval and started walking up towards the encampment.

The enormous crowd parted in front of Achilles, making his trip to the camp look very regal. Although he wasn’t smiling, you could tell that he was pretty pleased with himself.

Anyway, before he could reach the encampment, Agamemnon and a crew of generals rode up to greet him. Odysseus, Diomedes, Nestor and Ajax were amongst them.

Achilles stopped and nodded.

Agamemnon shouted: “Achilles, son of Peleus, it's a gift to find you on our shore once again!”

At that, all of our men went wild.

You would have thought Agamemon had just shouted “Let’s get this party started!” Men were banging on anything that would make noise and throwing each other into the air. It seemed as if Agamemnon's greeting had driven the men insane.

Anyway, Achilles coolly raised his hands and just as quickly as they had exploded, the men once again fell silent.

Achilles replied: “It is good to see you as well, King Agamemnon. Yes, it is good to be back with the Achaeans!”

With that, the men lost their minds once again. However, this time it was final.

Achilles raised his hands.

Agamemnon raised his hands.

There was no effect. -The army was insane with glee.

Achilles was swarmed.

Agamemnon and the commanders had to fight forward, almost trampling men to get to Achilles.

I couldn’t see much except for the heads of the generals on horseback. The crowd around me became so dense that I was lifted off of my feet.

Eventually, I saw Diomedes pull Achilles onto his horse. With that, Agamemnon and his crew turned around and began to fight their way back to the camp.

Most of the men chased after Achilles and the commanders.

As the crowd began to disperse, I could see that Nestor had been pulled down from his horse during the struggle. He was cursing wildly, and swinging his cane at anyone he could hit. I saw this Athenian captain named Acamas come to Nestor’s aid. -He got it right in the teeth.

A huge celebration has been going on all day.

Odysseus hasn’t been around, and it has been up to me to keep the Ithacan camp under control. -I guess that things over here haven’t been too bad.

I heard that the Magnesian and Myrmidon camps are in total chaos. –Polites went over there with Misenus to have a look. He said that some of the revelers had set their own tents on fire.

No one has seen Achilles since this morning, however.

κζ′

Odysseus and I had a long chat today.

It is rare that the General drops his airs and talks causally, but he did tonight. -I think that he is feeling restless or something.

After dinner, Odysseus stopped by my tent and said that he wanted to dictate another letter to Penelope. He never finished it. I still have it here.

Dearest Penelope,

Your General misses you a bunch. How is my boy Telemachus? Tell him that his father misses him a bunch. The siege on Troy is going good. This siege has gone on too long. What day is it? How are my dogs doing? I miss them a bunch.

-At that point he just gave up.

I asked Odysseus if there was something that I could do for him.

After a silence, he slammed his hand onto my desk and asked: “Eurylochus, what the hell am I doing?”

“Sir?” I replied.

He went on: “I mean, here we are, attacking Troy. -Building a wooden horse to attack Troy. Troy, Eurylochus! This is fucking Troy! We are fucking Ithacans!”

I didn’t know what to say.

Odysseus just looked at me for a couple of minutes. He then nodded and said: “I know, I know. It’s because we’re soldiers. Isn’t it?”

“I guess so, Sir.” I replied.

With that, Odysseus smiled. He then walked over and sat down on my bed. He asked me how I was doing, and I told him that I was doing well. Odysseus then started reminiscing about his farm, his dogs, and our days back at the Academy.

It was nice to hear about things familiar and nostalgic, and we had a good talk that went late into the evening. -The General left just a few minutes ago.

Anyway, I guess that even Odysseus has his moments of doubt.

I don’t expect to see another anytime soon.

κϛ′

A quiet day.

Elpenor took me over to the build site this morning. The Horse is coming along well. The base has been finished, and they were working on attaching the wheels.

This thing is going to be huge.

The base itself is probably ten meters wide and twenty meters long. Elpenor told me that it is going to be just as tall. He thinks that we will be able to get about one-hundred men in there, but says it will be pretty tight.

Epieus suggested that we could get a lot more men in there if we were to build something fatter than a horse. He thought that an elephant would be reasonable.

I just nodded.

I know that Epieus is dying to ask why it has to be a horse, but he knows that it isn’t his place. -He’s a smart guy.

After they took me on a tour of the site, Elpenor and Epieus treated me to lunch.

It was fantastic. Epieus is an incredible cook. He prepared fried fish, covered in some kind of olive and lentil sauce. With that we had bread, butter and wine. Man, I can still taste it.

I kind of got a kick out of seeing Elpenor and Epieus fixing up lunch together. They were both very fussy, and kept bickering at each other like an old married couple.

There is a rumor running about that these guys are an item, and to watch them, I wouldn’t doubt it. Sometimes it happens to some guys at war.

Hell, there is even a rumor about Achilles and Patroclus. -Mother of Zeus, that is going to be bad if Achilles ever shows up again.

That’s not to say that everyone is cool with that kind of thing. I mean no one would say a word to Achilles about it, but in the case of Elpenor and Epieus, it would be wise for them to keep it under wraps.

It's too bad they aren't Spartans. Those guys are so causal, no one would know the difference.

Anyway, lunch was fantastic.

To show my gratitude, I let Elpenor deliver his progress report directly to Odysseus. He was ecstatic.

I think that he forgave me for pulling him out of the fight yesterday.

κε′

The weather has improved.

There was a small funeral service for Patroclus this morning. They buried him down by the beach. It was mostly generals and Myrmidon soldiers in attendance. I didn’t go myself.

Later in the day, Agamemnon made quite a spectacle in the center of our encampment.

Agamemnon brought out the bones. –The bones of his grandfather Pelops, that is.

Actually, the Commander-in-Chief brought them out with his brother Menelaus, King of Sparta and ex-husband of Helen.

Although we are fighting this damned war because Menelaus’ wife left him, we don’t see very much of him. –Truth be told, he isn’t really the kind of guy that inspires men to action. In fact, it’s a common belief that we are actually fighting this war on Agamemnon’s behalf, trying to save face for his brother.

I haven’t personally talked to Menelaus face-to-face, but from what I have seen, the guy is somewhat of a sap. –Menelaus’ demeanor kind of reminds me of a dog that gets hit too much.

Anyway, for some reason, both these mighty brothers think that keeping their dead grandfather’s bones with them is somehow beneficial. Seeing as things have been going pretty poorly as of late, I guess they decided to break them out.

Just after lunch, a bunch of Agamemnon’s aides cleared off a large circle in the middle of our camp.

Agamemnon and Menelaus appeared looking very solemn, carrying a large wooden box. They were accompanied by Agamemnon’s personal oracle, Calchas.

With some instructions from Calchas, Agamemnon and Menelaus started wailing and dumped their grandfather’s bones in the dirt. Calchas then started dancing and chanting wildly, kicking the bones all about.

I have to wonder what makes a king decide to let some delusional maniac kick his grandfather’s bones. I mean, on a bad day, a guy could get killed just for sneezing on Agamemnon.

Anyway, after Calchas deemed the bones to be sufficiently scattered, he frantically rushed Agamemnon and Menelaus out of the circle and began to study their placement very carefully. Calchas studied those bones for the rest of the day.

As far as I know, he is still studying them now.

In other news, Elpenor almost got into a fight with Euryalus. -Apparently, he caught Euryalus in one of his impersonations of Epeius.

Late this evening, I heard a commotion outside my tent and rushed out to see Elpenor and Euryalus squared off, surrounded by a group of shouting soldiers.

I had to pull rank and order them to break it up.

Although I usually let such minor conflicts sort themselves out, I knew that Elpenor was about to be creamed. I didn’t just feel sorry for him. I need him for his work on the Horse.

At any rate, I ordered Elpenor not to get involved in any more fights.

He didn't seem very grateful.

κδ′

Hector got his horse back.

Today was rainy. I guess that was a bad omen for Patroclus, and a good one for Hector.

The setup for today’s fight was very similar to the one between Hector and Ajax. About fifty of our commanders and aides met with a similar number of Trojans, roughly halfway between our camp and the city.

As it was raining, we set up a few open air tents to cover Agamemnon and the top generals. The Trojans had to stand in the rain.

Paris wasn’t with the Trojans this time. However, a loud mouth guy named Glaukos was. I heard that Glaukos had a personal beef with Patroclus. Patroclus had killed Glaukos’ commander Sarpedon in some previous skirmishing. -So much drama with these commanders…

I guess that Glaukos came, hoping to see Patroclus get beat down.

Aside from Glaukos, Hector’s brother Deiphobus and his sister Cassandra were there. Polites thought that Cassandra was something else. -I didn’t see it.

Anyway, Patroclus made a pretty dramatic entrance. Accompanied by Diomedes, he rode up on Hector’s horse, carrying a golden shield and a Myrmidonian flag. However, what really blew everyone away was that Patroclus was wearing Achilles' armor. It was obvious that it was Achilles' armor because it had a big cheesy ‘Alpha’ on the breastplate.

A loud whisper spread throughout the audience.

Everyone knew that Patroclus and Achilles were close, but not that close. Furthermore, as Patroclus was wearing Achilles' armor, it was clear that Patroclus likely knew where Achilles had gone. -Agamemnon was visibly agitated.

Patroclus would have made quite a sight if half of his head hadn’t been wrapped in bandages.

Glaukos yelled: “Nice armor, Patroclus! Too bad it doesn’t cover your face!”

Patroclus ignored him. Jumping off his horse, he walked up to meet Hector without hesitation. The two men shook hands, and agreed to fight with spears. They didn’t use shields.

When I saw Patroclus retrieve his spear, I immediately thought that he had made a mistake. Hector is great with a sword, but his skill with the spear is almost legendary. I don’t know what made Patroclus so cocky.

Unlike the battle between Hector and Ajax, this one began with very little shit-talking. After grabbing their spears, Hector and Patroclus turned towards each other, bowed and got right to it.

Unlike the battle between Hector and Ajax, this one didn’t last very long.

Patroclus rushed first, and as Hector stepped aside, Patroclus did a fancy move, smacking Hector in the head with the shaft of his spear. This brought a loud cheer from our men.

Hector shook his head, and Patroclus spun around to face him again.

Once again, Patroclus charged.

I am not sure what Patroclus meant to do, but Hector easily stuck him right in the gut. It almost looked like Patroclus was offering his stomach.

Anyway, it was pretty sick. I don’t really want to commit the details to writing, but suffice to say, a gut wound wasn’t enough to finish Patroclus off. He was hurt really bad though, and he made a lot of noise.

Hector kind of finished him off like a skewered pig.

Although it was an audience of soldiers, Patroclus’ grisly death visibly affected everyone. -No one said a word.

After Hector was finished, or rather, after Patroclus was finished, Hector coolly removed Patroclus’ breastplate, walked over to his horse and climbed into the saddle. He gave a polite nod to Agamemnon and rode off.

The rest of the Trojans followed Hector’s lead, except for Glaukos. Glaukos actually ran up to Patroclus’ body and gave it a kick. Seeing that, all of our men, including Agamemnon, drew weapons and stepped forward.

Glaukos looked up, turned tail and ran.

The rest of the day was pretty sober. It is still raining now.

I suppose there will be a funeral tomorrow.

κγ′

Well, we had another visit from Hector today. -This is getting ridiculous.

Fortunately, Hector didn’t lead a cavalry charge on our camp. This time he rode up with about eight other guys, carrying a flag of truce.

It took awhile to get our commanders out to greet him, and a crowd of soldiers just stood there heckling him and his entourage for about twenty minutes.

Polites told me that Hector had arrived, and I fetched Odysseus. The General was having breakfast with Agamemnon. He hadn’t yet come to inspect our newly cleaned camp.

By the time that I arrived with Odysseus and Agamemnon, Hector was having a conversation with Nestor, the old Golden Fleece guy.

When Odysseus and Agamemnon walked up, Hector greeted them friendly: “Ah, Agamemnon, and ah, General Odysseus! How does this fine morning find you?” Agamemnon and Odysseus exchanged pleasantries with Hector. Everything was very casual.

A few more generals began to walk up and us men of lesser rank were somewhat edged back.

Polites and Euryalus were standing with me, and assuming the role of crowd control, we were able to stay within view of the meeting.

Ajax soon appeared.

Hector looked genuinely happy to see Ajax, and called to him: “Ah, brother Ajax, it’s good to see you!”

Ajax, was pleased with the attention, and loudly shouted back: “Hector, it’s good to see you as well! You look none the worse for wear!” At this they both had a good laugh.

I looked at Odysseus, and could tell that he was perturbed. I then knew that we would fail today’s camp inspection.

It was Ajax who inquired as to why Hector had paid us a visit.

“Ah, Ajax, I am actually here to kill one of you. Hah! Apparently, some of your men have turned to horse thievery, and they took my Lampos, -my best steed! Ah, so yes, I’m here to give the thief what is coming to him!”

At that, many eyes turned to Odysseus. I looked for Diomedes, but couldn’t find him. Odysseus seemed surprised. It looked like he was about to speak, but he was cut off by another shout.

“I’ll shkill you! You shorry eshcuse for a sholdier!” -It was Patroclus.

Patroclus’ head was half wrapped in bandages, and his speech was very spitty.

Euryalus nudge Polites and quiped: “I shtole your shteed!”

Hector, and all eyes, turned towards Patroclus.

Hector laughed. “Ah, shot by shepherd boys, Patroclus? And you were so pretty!”

Patroclus replied, “Fuck off, Hecshtor. You want your Lamposh? If you can besht me, you can havshe him! But, if I besht you, I get your shield!” -Hector's shield was very nice.

Hector nodded. “So be it. Ah, tomorrow at noon again. -If that is well with you, Agamemnon.”

“Sure. Of course, Hector.” replied the Commander-in-Chief.

With that it was settled. Patroclus will fight Hector tomorrow.

We passed our inspection. Odysseus was actually very pleased. I think that dodging a duel with Hector improved his spirits a bit.

After the inspection was done, Odysseus asked me to send some wine over to Patroclus’ tent, and to wish him luck. I let Elpenor do it.

κβ′

Odysseus stopped by this morning and announced that he was going to do an inspection of the Ithacan encampment tomorrow.

After I had called our men to order, the General berated them for a good thirty minutes. In his words, the men looked like: "A stinking flock of lecherous seleni!"

Odysseus informed them all that the camp better look like "an Olympian wedding hall" by tomorrow morning, or heads were going to roll.

Before he stomped off, he nodded to me and said: "See to it, Eurylochus!"

The General was right. Our camp badly needed to be cleaned. However, I knew that his sudden desire for order was actually a result of the failed horse-capturing attempt. Flexing his authority over the men was a way for Odysseus to save some face.

Anyway, the rest of the day was pretty frantic. Nervous men were lined up at my tent all afternoon. Some were there to make sure that I understood that their tent had been clean all along, and that it was the other men who were to blame. Others were curious to know what an Olympian wedding hall looked like. -Some men started sticking flowers on their tents.

Macar had it the worst. Suddenly, everyone wanted new sandals, belts and bedrolls. I could hear his grating voice cussing out soldiers all day.

The laundry women were quickly overwhelmed, and instead resorted to giving the men lessons on how to clean their own tunics. The sight of a few hundred naked Ithacans slapping their clothes against the rocks brought a lot of cheer to the other armies.

The barber was frantically cutting more beards than he had in a month.

By nightfall, the camp looked much improved. No tents were sagging, no bones were scattered about the firepits, new latrines had been dug and the overfilled ones had been covered.

I am sure that Odysseus will be pleased.

κα′

Late last night, Odysseus, Diomedes, and their horse-stealing crew ventured out to capture some Trojan steeds.

This is how Polites related it:

First off, things looked good. Polites guided the two dozen men up to the spot where he had spotted the Trojan horses two nights before. Everything appeared the same.

As there were a dozen Trojan guards hanging about, accompanied by just as many villagers, Odysseus decided that surprise, combined with a quick show of force, would scatter the Trojans and leave the horses for the taking.

The plan was that Odysseus, Diomedes, and a dozen of the men would sneak up, and when they got close, charge in and quickly kill a Trojan or two. –Polites was with this crew.

The other group of men, lead by Macar, were to follow in soon after, grab as many horses as they could and ride back to the beachhead.

That isn’t what happened.

Odysseus and his team had little difficulty getting close to the guards. The Trojan guards and the villagers were chatting about a fire, and the moon was almost new. In addition, the terrain north of Troy is hilly and is full of outcroppings of rocks and scattered boulders.

In fact, the men were able to get within about 20 yards of the fire without being noticed by their quarry.

Unfortunately, in addition to the Trojan guards and villagers around the fire, there was also some shepherd boys scattered about, looking after the peasant livestock.

One of these boys shot an arrow into Patroclus’ face.

Although it was a flesh wound, sticking only into his cheek, Patroclus was no longer able to maintain his stealthy composure. Polites said that Patroclus let out a torrent of slurred explicative, initiated by a thunderous: “Muvver of Zeuf! Fuckin Harpy Shif!”

To make matters worse, Patroclus’ fury did little to dissuade the adolescent archers. -Soon a rain of underpowered arrows began to fall upon Odysseus and his men.

Things got worse.

Despite the loss of surprise, Diomedes assumed that the plan was still on. Raising his sword, he yelled and charged into the Trojans, followed by a handful of men.

Odysseus on the other hand thought that the plan was to be abandoned. Raising his sword, he ordered a retreat and began to run in the direction of Macar, followed by a handful of men, including Polites.

Polites said that Macar’s crew was equally confused and broke into three groups: One followed Macar to capture the horses, one high-tailed back to the beach, and one stood frozen, unsure of what to do.

All the while, shepherd boys peppered everyone with a barrage of painful, but non-lethal arrows.

To Odysseus’ credit, he didn’t really chicken out. After meeting Macar, he realized that Diomedes had attacked, and he reordered those present to charge back for support.

Unfortunately for Diomedes, this left him and his few men outnumbered and without the benefit of surprise. By the time that Odysseus had returned, only Diomedes and Patroclus were still standing.

Polites said that they found Patroclus fighting three Trojans at once. He figured that Patroclus must have killed five men in about as many minutes.

And, with the aid of Odysseus and his men, it seemed that they might yet succeed. However, almost as immediately as they reached the fire, two of our guys were killed by very powerful arrows. -Trojan archers were shooting from the city walls. Macar was shot in the foot.

Odysseus and Diomedes sounded a retreat in unison, and all those remaining ran back to the beach.

Eight of our men were killed. Five were wounded.

All told, three horses were captured. Two were captured by the first men to retreat, and one was taken by an angry Macar, who couldn’t walk due to an arrow in his foot.

Odysseus didn’t stop by today.

κ′

Well, the horse thieves are off tonight.

It is supposed to be very hush-hush, but it is pretty obvious that something is going on. The Argosians that are tagging along have been hanging out in our camp today. The guys are pretty psyched and have been acting somewhat riotous.

Following lunch, Polites and Euryalus started off with a mock battle wielding some large wooden tent stakes. After about an hour, there were about twenty guys standing around, seeing who could throw a dead goat the furthest.

Patroclus tossed the thing almost thirty meters. I have to say, it was an impressive feat.

Odysseus walked up in the middle of the goat tossing. Rather than discourage it, the General was immediately determined to break Patroclus’ record.

His first toss was close.

Although the men were impressed, Odysseus was displeased and he really put everything he could into his second throw.

Unfortunately, Odysseus’ wind-up for the second toss was more than this dead goat could bear. One of the goats hooves came off, and the carcass went sailing into a nearby fire pit. This knocked over a large pot of stew, and burned a cook’s leg pretty severely.

That put an end to the fun.

Elpenor stopped by later and told me that some of the wood-gathering Minyan sailors thought they had seen Achilles’ ship. Apparently, it was very early and still dark, but some of the men swear they saw a Magensian galley about two days south of here.

I told Elpenor not to spread this rumor.

Odysseus stopped in a little later and dictated one of his letters to Penelope. I am not sure if he is concerned that he won’t come back tonight, or if he just wants to send a letter telling her how brave he is.

The guy actually told her that he is going on a dangerous mission tonight. I quote: “Sweet Penelope, your General must embark on this night on a most perilous adventure. My thoughts will be of you, and I pray Ares, God of Battle, will keep me in his favor.” -Personally, I don’t know why he would want her to worry. I think it just makes him feel like a badass.

I didn’t mention the rumor about Achilles to him.

ιθ′

Polites has his horse-stealing crew together. Misenus is going with them. So is Macar. I told Polites that I would rather if Macar didn’t go, but Macar is very good with horses, and Polites said that he could really use his help. I guess that he is right.

It seems that Diomedes has asked Achilles’ pal Patroclus to go with them. I am not so sure that is a good idea. Patroclus is still pretty bitter about Achilles leaving, and I am sure that he is looking forward to getting at the Trojans again.

It makes me wonder how Odysseus got Agamemnon’s approval for this excursion. –I assume that he must have. Diomedes wouldn’t be that stupid, anyway.

One of the other guys coming on Diomedes behalf is Euryalus. I don’t know much about him, but he and Polites really seem to have hit it off. Euryalus ate lunch with us today. He has a wicked impersonation of Agamemnon.

Elpenor and Epeius stopped by while we were eating to fill me in on some details regarding the Horse.

After the two of them left, Euryalus started off with a new impersonation of Epieus. I have to admit that it was dead on, and I couldn’t help but laugh. He does Epieus’ mouth-breathing lisp perfectly. Unfortunately, Polites thought that it was hysterical, and he has been doing a much poorer imitation of it all day.

The small horse-raiding troupe is meeting later this evening, and I have to admit that I am happy that Odysseus didn’t ask that I attend. I really have a bad feeling about this adventure, and I am more than content not to be a part of it.

I have come to realize that the actions of our army are dictated much more by the fragile egos of our commanders than they are by any military strategy.

ιη′

Polites says the Trojans are grazing their horses outside of the city. He saw them let several out last evening through the northern gate. A small guard was with the horses, and these Trojans mingled with some local villagers who were watching livestock of their own.

I reported this to Odysseus after breakfast, and he didn’t seem very surprised. He told me that he has a plan to capture some of these horses. I guess that he has been formulating this plan with the Argosian general Diomedes. He asked that I get a list of about a dozen men whom he can take with him. I assume that he wants to do this soon.

I have a feeling that this is just another way of Odysseus sticking it to Ajax. It was really embarrassing to Ajax that one of his traded horses had been captured during Hector’s raid. Odysseus capturing more Trojan horses would just be a way to rub his face in it.

I asked Polites that he go on this raid, since he is the one that knows where the horses are at. -He isn’t too thrilled about it.

To make him feel better, I told him that he could decide which other Ithacans would go with him.

Everything else is pretty quiet.

Today was the seventieth birthday of Nestor, King of Pylos. I had to go with Odysseus to a banquet in his honor tonight.

The food was great, but it was terribly boring. Nestor is an ancient guy. He looks much older than seventy.

Anyway, he was one of the guys that went with Jason looking for the Golden Fleece. I guess that is pretty wild, but I didn’t really want to listen to him talk for four hours. The guy kept going on about all of his exploits, and Agamemnon and all of the other commanders kept toasting him and kissing his ass. –I thought it would never end.

Odysseus thinks that he is the best.

I am not saying that he isn’t a great guy or anything, but it really wasn’t the way that I wanted to spend my evening.

I still have a bunch of stuff to get finished before I can get to sleep.

ιζ′

I think that Epieus has a thing for Elpenor, and I don’t think that Elpenor has a clue.

It has been great having those two working together on the Wooden Horse. The build site is extremely clean and organized, and work on the base is well underway.

It is obvious that Elpenor likes hanging out with Epieus. Epieus isn’t a bad guy, but I suspect that Elpenor is fond of him because, unlike the other men, Epieus doesn’t give Elpenor a hard time.

On the other hand, Epieus seems equally as fond of Elpenor. However, I have a feeling that Epieus has other motivations.

Yesterday, Elpenor was in my tent to give me an update on their progress. Epieus was with him, and it made me a little uncomfortable the way that Epieus was staring at Elpenor as he was giving his report.

Now, I have nothing against Epieus’ motivations if they are in fact, those kind of motivations. However, I do hope that Elpenor isn’t as clueless as he seems.

I say that because Polites made a comment to me about the horse boys, and knowing Polites, he won’t let any opportunity to rag on Elpenor slide. –With an opportunity as big as this one, Polites could be merciless.

In other news, I guess that Odysseus did cause quite a stir yesterday. A general edict was passed through camp today that there is to be no more trading with the Trojans under any circumstances. This is sure to piss a lot of people off. There is no doubt in my mind that the trade will continue. It is just going to be a lot more difficult.

Odysseus himself came by today. He wanted to know if the Trojans are grazing their horses north of the city. I told him that I didn’t know, but I asked Polites to get a few guys together and to go and find out.

ιϛ′

I went to a meeting with Odyesseus today.

I guess that Agamemnon wanted some kind of inquiry into the Trojan attack. He called about 20 of the generals together, and Odysseus asked that I come and take notes for him.

It started pretty slow. Basically, each general was given the floor for a few minutes, and they were allowed to comment or ask questions. Most of the generals just expressed how surprised they were by this attack, and how we needed to be much more vigilant in the future. They would then invariably kiss Ajax's ass, and compliment him on his duel with Hector. -Ajax was pretty pleased with these proceedings.

That is, until it was Odysseus' turn.

Odysseus was sitting next to Agamemnon, which made him last to speak. First off, he echoed the other general's concerns about how we should have been more aware and such. But then, he started talking about the Trojan calvary, and how it was so surprising that the Trojans should have had so many horses.

This drew some murmers from the other generals, and many of them thoughtfully grabbed thier beards and nodded.

I knew where Odysseus was going. Apparently, Ajax did too, because he wasn't smiling anymore.

Odysseus did have a big grin however, and making an exaggerated gesture, he signaled to the guards at the entrance. They pulled the flaps open, and Elpenor rode into the tent on a horse.

At that, Odysseus said: "Gentlemen, let me present to you one of the horses captured from the Trojans! -A Salamisian horse!"

All hell broke loose.

Ajax slammed his fists and yelled "Bullshit, Laertes!", then everyone started shouting.

Elpenor's horse spooked, and after kicking a captain in the jaw, charged out of the tent.

It was total chaos. Odysseus began going off about how it was treasonous to trade weapons with the enemy, and Ajax was yelling about how Odysseus had set him up. The other generals were shouting too.

It was apparent that the other generals weren't sure where they stood. No doubt, some of them had been trading with the Trojans as well. Still, it wouldn't look good to side with Ajax in front of Agamemnon. Therefore, many of them were just crying in disbelief, or just making noise.

Anyway, I didn't get to see the resolution. After about fifteen minutes of madness, Agamemnon restored enough order to have us aides escorted out.

I didn't see Odysseus again today.

This evening, Elpenor dropped by my tent. He was worried that Odysseus would be angry at him. I reassured him that he had done a good job, and that he couldn't help what the horse had done.

I wanted to tell him that he probably should avoid doing such favors for Odysseus in the future, but I know that he wouldn't understand why.

ιε′

I’ve been sick as hell.

I think that it was caused by some oysters from Polites.

The morning after the battle between Ajax and Hector, Polites brought two buckets of oysters over for breakfast. I guess that they were a gift from his girlfriends. -Maybe Polites’ girls aren’t happy with him.

Misenus and I have been puking our guts out for the last two days. Yet, the damnedest thing is that Polites is completely fine. -He thinks it's fucking hilarious. Still, it probably serves us right. It is kind of stupid, eating food from the Trojans.

Anyway, everything else has been going well enough.

Some of the Minyans came back with wood yesterday, and Elpenor and Epieus have gotten work started on the Horse’s base. -It seems Epieus plans to build a big flat cart on which the horse will be standing.

I still can’t believe that we are building a fucking horse.

Odysseus has been pretty scarce. He wanted me to go hunting with him and some of the generals yesterday, but I wasn’t quite up to it. I guess that they didn’t have much luck. The fauna around here has been severely depleted by our army’s extended presence. In the end, Odysseus shot a goat from one of the neighboring villages.

They put these big fake wooden horns on it, and paraded it around camp like he had slain a Gorgon or something. It was pretty funny.

Unfortunately, I missed the ‘Feast of the Hunt’ that followed.

ιδ′

Well, Ajax isn’t dead. Neither is Hector.

About noon, a large congregation of commanders rode up the hill to about halfway between our camp and Troy.

Although our entire army wanted to see this duel, the commanders only let a handful of the senior officers join them for the spectacle. Odysseus, who was in especially good humor, asked that Polites and I join him. –Polites had the wine.

Hector was a little late.

About twenty minutes after we had arrived, Hector rode up with an entourage of about fifty men, one of whom was Paris. The sight of Paris caused some grumbling amongst our generals, but Agamemnon quieted them down, saying something like: “We aren’t here to do battle, we are here for honor!”

It was almost unsettling to see how the commanders of each side were so cordial to one another.

Anyway, there was a big to-do of announcing and posturing between Ajax and Hector that lasted about fifteen minutes. -By that point, our men and Hector’s posse had formed somewhat of a circle around the two, about ten meters in diameter.

There was a lot of shit-talking. Hector kept shouting that Ajax wasn’t much of a substitution for Achilles. Ajax would respond that Hector was just flattering himself.

Some of their jeers were pretty funny. I guess that Ajax was feeling some nerves, because in response to Hector saying “Don’t worry boys, I’ll have you home well before dinner!” he quipped “Yeah, well boys, I’ll have you home well before breakfast!” –Polites gave me such a look that I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

I guess that it might have been the wine, because Odysseus thought it was pretty funny too. He began to laugh, but checked himself after a sharp look from Agamemnon.

Anyway, just when it looked like they would never fight, Polites had the balls to shout: What is this?! –A fight or a debate?!

Polites had forced the issue. Hector and Ajax both heard him, and at that, they turned and squared off.

The battle was remarkable, and I have to admit that Ajax was a lot tougher than I had expected.

Hector and Ajax rushed at each other. They crashed, swung their swords, crashed, kicked, crashed, tumbled, crashed, punched, and crashed some more. After about ten minutes of this, the two of them rolled away from another, stood up, dusted themselves off, and then went back at it again.

Hector was an extremely offensive fighter. But, Ajax was equally as good at parrying his blows. There were some good hits made on each of their parts, but these were invariably kicks and punches, or bashes with the hilt or shield. -Neither Ajax nor Hector seemed able to really capitalize on any advantage.

The men on the sidelines were going crazy, shouting encouragement and advice.

And the fight went on.

And on, and on…

It started to seem unreal, and the roar of the audience began to die off.

Still, the fight went on.

Eventually, shouts of encouragement turned to whispers of disbelief.

After about forty minutes, the breaks were becoming longer than the struggles, and I seriously began to wonder if one of them would simply expire from exhaustion rather than by the other’s sword.

And then, after an hour of clashing, scraping, punching, kicking, cutting, and yes, even biting, the duel finally ended.

There was no victor. Yet, there wasn’t a loser either. It was a tie.

Regaining some strength from what must have been a solid five minute break, Ajax and Hector rose, and turning towards the other, charged with renewed strength. However, this time as Ajax raised his sword above Hector’s head, his knees -which apparently had been forced to work beyond their threshold of exertion, suddenly buckled.

Hector, who had had some practice by this point, raised his shield to receive Ajax’s blow. But, instead of receiving a sword, he received the full force of Ajax’s face.

This might have been a fatal error for Ajax. However, Ajax’s face struck Hector’s shield with an almost suicidal force, the kind of force that Hector might have successfully dealt with thirty minutes befor. However, after a full hour of battle, Hector couldn’t begin to absorb the blow.

The result was that Hector himself buckled under Ajax’s face, and the two men flopped violently down into the dust.

Hector splayed out flat backwards, making no effort to break his fall. It looked as if a massive dead tree had fallen directly into another massive dead tree and breaking the other’s trunk, brought the second down with it. And, just as the upper part of a tree hits last with a whip, Hector’s head made a hollow thwack as it lashed the earth.

It was this sickening sound that announced the end of the epic fight.

At first, it seemed that Ajax’s face plant might have defeated Hector, however, as he made no effort to rise from Hector’s chest, it became apparent that Ajax had knocked himself out with his blow to Hector’s shield.

For almost a full minute, no one moved. Then, somewhat meagerly, a few orderlies stepped into the circle. Keeping their heads down, they shuffled up to their respective general’s side.

Everyone was spellbound. -You could hear the wind.

Ajax awoke with a gut-wrenching moan. He pushed himself off of Hector, and rolling over, slowly propped himself up. His face was caked in blood.

Looking at the scene, Ajax waved his hand and sent off the orderlies. His men quickly retreated, however Hector’s men seemed a bit reluctant. But Ajax stood up, and they too backed away. Ajax then found his sword and picked it up. He turned to Hector who was now beginning to moan.

It looked like it was the end of Hector. Ajax raised his sword. -Hector opened his eyes.

And then… Ajax started to laugh. Hector started to laugh too. Ajax dropped his