πθ′

The Horse is stuck.

It’s a complete debacle. We should be sitting at the gates of Troy right now. -Instead, it’s past midnight, and I am writing this from the middle of the Trojan plain.

Anyway, this morning, after a full night of preparations, the sun rose to find our camp almost completely disassembled.

I spent the rest of last night at the beach.

Our Ithacans were loading our ships through the night, along with the new ship Odysseus had recently liberated from the Milesians.

Honestly, I don’t know why we are taking the Milesian ship, as it’s so terribly slow. -It does hold a lot of cargo, but it will be a real drag if our fleet has to sail back home at its pace.

That is, if we are going to be sailing home any time soon.

I still haven’t gotten a straight answer as to whether or not we are planning to reset camp after the sack of Troy. -Assuming there is a ‘Sack of Troy’

I’d like to think that we will be sailing home immediately afterwards. However, I doubt that’s going to be the case. -No doubt this is going to be a complicated ordeal.

I tried to press Odysseus about this issue this evening, just before we crawled inside the Horse. Unfortunately, the General just smiled and told me not to worry about it. -I don’t think a plan has been made.

Even so, considering our situation, I guess it’s kind of optimistic for me to be contemplating the fall of Troy.

As I write this, the Wooden Horse sits in the middle of the plain, listing over heavily to one side. It’s bogged down in some sort of sinkhole. -To be honest, I am not sure whether or not we are going to be able to free it, or if the thing is just going to topple over completely.

Elpenor and Epieus are in quite a state.

Anyway, the current situation aside, as the sun rose this morning, Agamemnon gave an short speech to our Achaean army. Odysseus was asked to be present. -Therefore, I was expected to listen to it as well.

At that point, the entire army was spread out over a couple of miles of shoreline. Thus, Agamemnon was talking to a pretty limited crowd. -Basically, the Commander-in-Chief’s audience was composed of us Ithacans and some of the Minyans.

It wasn’t a very memorable speech. At any rate, as our petty officers kept interrupting me, I didn’t get to hear much of it anyway.

Nestor was there. He read some sort of poem or something.

Shortly afterwards, I headed up to the Wooden Horse site.

When I arrived, Elpenor and Epieus were directing the build crew. Their men were struggling to secure a large team of real horses to the wooden one. -It was a pretty hectic scene.

Adding to the chaos, a number of the soldiers that were to be in the Horse had shown up early, including Polites, Euryalus and Sthenelus.

I am not sure exactly how it started, but for some reason, Elpenor and Euryalus got into a heated argument. Actually, I am not sure if it was much of an argument. More likely, Euryalus had pissed off Elpenor by making a joke at his expense.

Anyway, one thing lead to another and a fight between Epieus and Sthenelus broke out on their behalves.

Sthenelus is much larger than Euryalus. Thus, Epieus didn’t put him down quite as quickly as he had Euryalus. However, Epieus did manage to bloody Sthenelus' nose before I was able to get between them.

After I broke it up, I immediately wished I hadn’t. -Once he was saved, a reinvigorated Sthenelus loudly called Epieus a “mouth-breathing, titless harpy”.

At that, I almost let Epieus go again.

Instead, I asked Polites to take Sthenelus off the site until it was boarding time.

After that episode, the preparations resumed. -I did what I could to help out until dinner.

My dinner consisted of eating some bread while I hurried down to the beach. -Baius had asked that I speak to him before I entered the Horse.

Halfway to the beach, I ran into Aegle.

As I was busy thinking about ‘The Plan’, and in the midst of stuffing my face, I didn’t see Aegle until I almost walked into her.

As I looked up, she greeted me with a meager smile.

My mouth was completely full of bread.

After chewing for what seemed like an eternity, I greeted Aegle in the most unaffected voice I could muster.

“Eurylochus,” she said. “I’m sorr…” -but I cut her off.

I replied sharply: “No Aegle. I don’t want to hear that. -It’s not that I don’t believe it, it’s just I don’t need to hear it.”

I was pretty proud of that impromptu declaration, actually.

To this, Aegle nodded sullenly.

After a quiet moment, she smiled a bit, flashed her eyelids and asked: “Can I see you after the invasion?”

To that, I gave her a cool smile and a nod of consent. -I then hurried off.

I’m not sure if I want to see Aegle after ‘the invasion’. -Still, she seemed genuine.

At any rate, it was kind of nice to feel like I was in control of my feelings for once.

As for Baius, he just wanted to know the same thing I did. Baius asked whether or not there was a plan for after ‘the invasion’. -I told him I didn’t have a clue.

To that, Baius just smiled blankly. -It was the kind of smile I imagine a captain might give to a boat of women and children as they shoved off his sinking ship.

With that, our meeting was over.

On my way back to the Horse, I ran into Odysseus, Agamemnon, Diomedes, Menelaus and Neoptolemus. -The Commander-in-Chief was coming to see his brother and his comrades off.

From that moment on, things were artificially militant and professional.

Three hours later, I was inside a Wooden Horse with fifty-two Achaean soldiers.

I was second to last to board. That put me next to Odysseus, Diomedes, Neoptolemus, Polites, Little Ajax, Sthenelus, Eumelus, Misenus, and Epeius. -It was standing room only.

Epeius was the last to enter.

After about another hour, the Horse started to move.

At that moment, two things came to me as a surprise. First, I couldn’t believe just how rough the ride was. In fact, once we began to move, every one of us instantly fell down. Second, I was really surprised by how little we could hear of what was going on outside.

In fact, the only thing we could only hear was when people next to the Horse would occasionally shout. Beyond that, we didn’t have a clue as to what was going on.

As for the inside of the Horse, it was pretty quiet. -Maybe that’s because everyone was preoccupied with the same thoughts I was.

Just after we had begun to move, and after we had picked ourselves up again, Odysseus valiantly shouted: “Achaeans, we ride with Ares tonight!” -Unfortunately, only an uncomfortable silence followed.

After about forty minutes of bouncing around in that silence, the Horse abruptly stopped.

Picking ourselves up again, we heard some muffled shouting from below.

Several quiet minutes passed. I think I heard Menelaus whimper. -We then all fell down as te Horse began to move once again.

Less than a minute later, we jolted to a stop.

Almost immediately, the Horse began to lean over.

As I couldn’t see a thing, I first thought I had simply lost my balance. However, before I could even try to steady myself, a wave of Achaeans crashed upon me, pushing me towards the Horse’s dipping head.

That’s when things got pretty chaotic.

Fortunately for me, I had been somewhat lifted up as we fell. As a result, I found myself lying upon the shoulders and heads of a number of men.

First, there was a brief moment of confused silence. -The men then began shouting.

Some were being crushed, some were just angry, and some men were just freaking out. -I definitely heard Menelaus whimper at that point.

I can’t say I blame the men, or even Menelaus. -As our standing room was about halved when the Horse leaned over, things were very cramped.

I am not typically claustrophobic. However, even sitting atop the pile of men, I couldn't help feeling a bit desperate.

Nonetheless, despite the general state of chaos, I soon discerned that Sthenelus and Epieus had found each other.

At least that’s my best guess.

Even over the shouting, I could hear Sthenelus’ piercing voice shout: “Kiss my ass, titless harpy!”

I then heard Sthenelus cry out as he was brutally pummeled in the darkness. -I never heard a word from Epieus, but I knew it was him.

After about five more minutes, there were some more screams as the crowd suddenly gave way.

Apparently, the trap door had been opened.

The screams were from several men that fell to the ground below. The Cretan general Idomeneus was one of these guys. -I guess he broke his ankle.

Anyway, it wasn’t long before we were all standing on the Trojan plain.

That’s were we are now.

Agamemnon has since arrived with a host of Mycenaens and Spartans. -The Spartans have set up a perimeter somewhat distant from us. Meanwhile, the Myceneans are working on getting the Horse out of that sinkhole.

Odysseus is off running about with Agamemnon. He only asked I stay with the Horse troupe and keep them together. -Personally, I think he’s worried about desertion.

As soon as we climbed out, I instructed Achaemenides to fetch Elpenor.

The two of them are now drilling some small holes in the bottom of the Horse.

Maybe I should let Elpenor replace Idomeneus.

I might need to find a replacement for Sthenelus too. -His face is a bloody mess.

Epieus, who hasn’t said a thing about it, is presently arguing with a Mycenean captain about how to pull the Horse out.

At this point, I’m not really sure I want them to succeed.

Whatever the case, we have to either to give up, or get back inside the Horse before the sun comes up.